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AIBU?

AIBU to resign...

68 replies

Fruitbat1980 · 05/03/2017 07:52

I find myself in a crappy work situation. The problem is two fold, one- the commute is ridiculous (think 6 to 7 hour round trip in car which I do 2 or three days a week). I knew it would be bad when I took role, but not that bad (told only needed there 2 days a week and trip should be 3-4 hour round trip but M25 is so bloody awful).
Two- my boss is awful. Never thanks you for anything, emotional intelligence is zero, expects me to be in all time even though agreed only 2 days a week, picks on one item like a scab and ignores the 300 plates me (and all his team) are spinning. He rants and raves at me (not criticising my work but rather that of my team. Their HR practices are shocking. I start dreading Monday morning on Saturday afternoon, which to me seems no way to live.
I need a job/ money, but do have savings which would keep us going a few months. But know it might not be so easy to get another job when unemployed. And should maybe stay and look for something while I'm there, but there aren't enough hours in the day. On the days I travel to the office it's a 14-15 hour day. I just don't think I can stick it anymore. It's seriously effecting my health, mentally and physically.
If really appreciate some outside perspectives? Just based on the above? I feel like if someone told me this I'd say your bloody mad, get out! But then I get sucked into the salary and the fear I'll look like a failure if I give up? Ps I have a 3 year old. I'm trying to 'have it all' and failing miserably.

OP posts:

Report

StealthPolarBear · 05/03/2017 07:56

I don't suppose you can move closer? I know that wouldn't solve all the problems but would help

BikeRunSki · 05/03/2017 07:56

Resign!!! It's destroying you.
Perfectly acceptable to have a career break to spend time with your 3 year old!

BankWadger · 05/03/2017 08:00

Isn't it better to resign and ise your time and energy finding a better job closer to home, than ending up signed off sick and being to burnt out to function

Inadays · 05/03/2017 08:01

Sounds awful. Life is much too short to spend it exhausted and dreading every day. Resign now and begin living again! Good luck

Lilaclily · 05/03/2017 08:01

I would resign too
I don't think a 14, 15 hour day is sustainable with a 3 year old, I mean when do you see your child

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 08:03

i would usually say apply for other jobs, While you are working. It seems that those work are more successful in finding work than those not. plus if you are working and actively looking your mindset might be in a better place, knowing you are one step away from leaving.

ForalltheSaints · 05/03/2017 08:03

See if you can make the journey by train (costly but preferable as you can have a snooze on the train), if not leave.

MillionToOneChances · 05/03/2017 08:03

I would talk to a couple of recruiters and stick it out. Just for a while.

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 08:04

be firm about your days off.
just take them.

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 08:05

plus there is the psychological aspect may be of saying, Right, I am Leaving to do a different job.
rather than I am leaving too look for a different job.

Fruitbat1980 · 05/03/2017 08:05

Thanks for replies so far. On the days I commute I don't see my son. (Well I sit on his bed and gaze at home when I get home) it's about the worst bit for me. I try to make up for it on the other days :(

OP posts:

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 08:06

how lng hve you worked there?

Fruitbat1980 · 05/03/2017 08:07

Train is a no go, I checked it out and would take 3 hours and 3 trains each way. So hardly any better and cost more.

OP posts:

AnarchyKitty · 05/03/2017 08:08

Go. I had to leave a job with nothing lined up to save my mental health thanks to a bullying boss.

Fruitbat1980 · 05/03/2017 08:08

6 months. Priory to that I'd been somewhere else a long time. Hadn't considered talking to recruiters as such, I fell into this role (they poached me) so not been 'out there' in the market really

OP posts:

hesterton · 05/03/2017 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 05/03/2017 08:10

Either you resign or the job kills you.
I'm assuming that it must be well paid, but frankly I'd prefer to be flipping burgers at the local McDonald's

Fruitbat1980 · 05/03/2017 08:12

I did a stint in McDonald's as a teenager and loved it! Yes, excellent salary. Senior role.
Bosses boss is bosses best mate so would never listen (I discover I'm one in a long line who have quit under 12 months in)

OP posts:

Topnotes · 05/03/2017 08:14

You can't go on like this. Capability Jane are a recruitment consultant who specialise is part-time work. Or use local recruitment agencies in your area. You don't say what your role is - many folk I know work from homeb- you may find an employer where that is an option. It'll only get harder when your LO starts school (reading practise etc most nights) so I would act now.

Fruitbat1980 · 05/03/2017 08:15

I work in IT.

OP posts:

neonrainbow · 05/03/2017 08:18

Resign now! Your mental health is more important.

Spadequeen · 05/03/2017 08:18

Leave. No job is worth that.

My job is pretty full on and I find myself working longer hours than I'm paid to, however I love the job and most of my colleagues. However, my previous manager was horrendous and made the job hell, if she'd have stayed, I'd have gone. So not worth it.

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HelloCanYouHearMe · 05/03/2017 08:20

Write that resignation letter now OP

Please dont stay in a job you hate - as others have said, life is too short.

coconutpie · 05/03/2017 08:21

Is there a boss higher up? So above your boss's boss? Could you talk to HR? Could you work from home instead every second week or something? Failing that, I'd resign. You can't go on like that.

Frouby · 05/03/2017 08:23

If you were poached speak to your old company about getting your old job back.

Say that it isn't working out. The drive is longer than you thought and you would like to come back.

Failing that speak to recruiters, start sending cvs out and find something else even if it means a salary cut.

When does your 3 year old start ft school? If it's September I would resign in june to finish in July with the explanation on your cv that you wanted the summer with your dc before ft school. Or if it's next year they start ft just say you wanted the summer as you just wanted a summer with the dc now they are old enough to understand and do fun things.

If you have holidays use them over spring bank and easter. Then you only really have a few months of actual work. And knowing you are leaving anyway will make it easier.

Be really firm about your days off too. Just repeat to your boss 'I only work in the office X days as per my contract.'

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