My husband has stopped my mother seeing her grandchildren. My husband and I have 3 kids and my mum used to see them every week and used to help with school drop offs and pickups.
My mum has always been (in her words) a storyteller. I would say pathological liar, my husband would say sociopath. I have known since my childhood and recognised that she lies to everyone however I thought it was mostly innocent and just thought it was part of her personality. My husband thinks she does it to manipulate people.
Basically there have been a lot of things that were innocent lies and a lot of things that were quite hurtful, the worst being when my father died in November last year (who I had never met) and I found out she had been lying about him too and if she had told me the truth about my father I might have had someone who wanted to be a part of my life instead of me constantly trying to make contact with someone who wanted nothing to do with me. She lied about my father because the man who she said was my father had provided her with a house in a posh area (she told him we were his kids). But apparently its not him and it was some other guy who died 7 years ago. I was heartbroken. She also told me when I was a teenager if I ever tried to contact him she would never speak to me again, so I didn't try and contact him until I had a family of my own and felt it was very important and by then it was too late.
Within the last year she has told me she has cancer (she didn't), told me my sister has Hepatitis C (she doesn't), taken my son out and left him standing at the top of an escalator not knowing what to do and then she told him not to tell me (he's 4), told me my aunty is palliative and has 10 weeks to live (she is recovering from cancer and is not palliative) among loads of other not serious lies (about her job, her friends etc).
My mother and I are currently not speaking and haven't spoken since early December (when the person I thought was my father passed away). But i am willing to forgive her and just know that most of what she says is lies and for her to see the boys as long as I am with them, but my husband says she can't be in a position of trust with them because she could hurt them mentally. Is he being unreasonable?
AIBU?
Is my husband BU?
GiveMeVegemite · 09/02/2017 12:39
Oh good god OP, sorry to say it - but I think you know it too - your 'D'M sounds like a nutjob! I am so very very sorry you did not have the chance to meet your father, I think that is unforgivable behaviour 
It is on the one hand admirable you would like your children to have a relationship with their grandmother, after all she has put you through, but actually might be quite dangerous to expose them to her without supervision? So I think your DH is being entirely reasonable to stop unsupervised contact I'm afraid. She actually put your son at physical risk leaving him on top of an escalator, never mind the mental scars she might be leaving if she is "telling stories" to your DC. So if you want them to continue to see her then do exactly as you propose - make sure you are always with them.
Hell no, your husband sounds a very sensible man, your mother will damage your children -the escalator incident made me 
Who would do that? 
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Ask yourself a question.
If this wasn't your mother, if this was someone who wasn't family, would you let your children anywhere near her knowing what you do?
I don't think you would.
I think your husband is right.
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