To expect DH to eat 4 mars bars, 2 cream eggs, glucose tablets some caramel dairy milk, and drink coke and lucosdae!

[LowFatMilkshake]

Right am getting so annoyed by DH that I need a reality check from all of you please.

DH is underweight by about 2 stone. He has a physical job that sees him up at 4am, and getting home at 1pm latest. When he gets up he has a coffee and then a chocolate biscuit (penguin or similar) while at work. When he gets home he has a bowl of cereal, sometime some toast, hot cross bun or crumpets. He spends a couple of hours playing with DC's and doing odd jobs around the house. Then I send him for a 2 to 2.5 hour sleep. He gets up in time for tea and I always fill him with lots of carbs, spuds, pasta, couscous etc. the we do washing up get kids ready for bed and are settled down with a coffee by about 7.30-8pm.

I am currently on maternity leave, so in June he wont get an afternoon sleep anymore as he will have two DC's to look after etc while I work in the afternoons.

Anyway, this evening after tea time (tea was a pasta dish) he had hoovered and was coming up for story time when he went dizzy. He sat restng for about an hour and a half but felt no better. He thinks it is a sugar problem (he has a realy fast metabolism), so I went round to the shop and bought: 2 Mars Duos, 3 Cream eggs, Large Bottle of Coke, 2 packets of Lucosdae Glucose tablets, 2 bottles of lucosade sport and large bar of caramel Dairymilk. He ate one Mars Duo and said he felt better! Now after my pilgramige I think he should have eaten at least an egg as well and some glucose tablets. Anyway I bullied him and he managed to drink some lucosade as well.

I have made sure he has plenty for work tomorrow so he can take chocolate and glucose with him. But here I sit getting all worried and he claims to be feeling better after just one mars duo

He kows why I feel so worried. I have lost both parents and feel very insecured about the health of my loved ones. Not to mention in the past he has said he felt dizzy, had a nose bleed and then collapsed!!

Am I being unreasonable for wanting him to eat more?

No he wont go to the doctor as he is bl**dy stubborn, darling, prescios to me, ass of a DH !!

[Aimsmum]

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[llareggub]

He'd be better off eating carbs that release sugar slowly - something like porridge is filling and will keep him going for longer.

A healthy, balanced diet will be much better for him than trying to boost his weight with a load of sugar. Far more likely to give a huge sugar rush! Can he eat little and often? Do you eat meals or snacks?

Now I mean this in the nicest possible way, but you do sound like you have a tendancy to nag. Now when nagged I tend to the opposite. Is this an issue here?

[fransmom]

lfm (((((((((())))))))))))))
he is being typical stupid man with regards to his hea;lth. when dp had pneumonia, he was very ill and his eye started going yellow with jaundice. no wdo you think he wanted to go to hospital, even tho the ambo lad/lass was already here with us?

[llareggub]

Yes, just saw you mentioned carbs. He does need a better breakfast in the morning. Breakfasts are essential in managing sugar levels effectively.

[FluffyMummy123]

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[luciemule]

Hi Lowfatmilkshake,
My DH is in the army, is extremely slim and wirey but eats like a horse. However, if I didn't stop him, he'd eat 3 huge bags of crisps, chocolate, pot noodles etc and that's after I've cooked him an ample dinner. He too has a very fast metabolism but has had his colesterol checked and it's fine.
Perhaps you're husband could have a big bowl of porridge or museli at brekkie, more protein at lunch time so his energy doesn't dip mid afternoon and carbs at night with lots of fresh fruit and veg (bananas are ace for energy and brainpower through the day)to boost him up for the next day at work. Maybe hot chocolates instead of coffee to fill him up more and loads of water to combat headaches from tiredness. My DH wouldn't go to doc's either but I got a diabetes test from the chemist for him but it was fine because he craved such a lot of sugary crap. I know this probably doesn't help much but thought it was a similar case.

[LowFatMilkshake]

Yes I do nag llaregub, but only our of love, honestly - and now I am welling up too

He seems much better now though, he is talking more normally, his posture is normal and has also had crisps and an creme egg. He says he feels normal again too

He may well have another coffee at work but that's all. He is away from the office for his job so has nowhere to eat, and it's not practicall with what he does. In the summer he woud take a banana and a bottle of water with him, but that sort of fizzled out. However my vegbox comes tomorrow with banana's so I will be reviving that practice.

We have a few snacks at home such as chocolate digestives and fruit etc. But I am overweight and DD is a bad eater so we have to watch what is in the cupoboards so the two of us dont snakc on junk. Trouble is he seems to need all the stuf DD and I can do without. Am thinkning about getting him build-up drinks or something.

[luciemule]

icod - whoops - is my whole thinking of metabolism wrong? I thought if you ate loads but put on little weight it meant you had a fast metabolism?

[sauce]

Really bad food to be giving anyone! Agree with slow-release carbs. Bananas, milkshakes with full-fat yoghurt, honey, wheat germ, whole-wheat pasta and whole wheat bread much better than mars bars, etc. Can understand you being worried & upset. He must take care of himself rather than you (pg as well!) having to run after him.

[FluffyMummy123]

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[luciemule]

oh yeah - that's a good idea - the protein build up drinks. Can' really do him any harm. How tall is he and what does he weigh?

[zephyrcat]

Are you sure he isn't coeliac??

My Uncle was just like this. For 10 years he lost more and more weight. He looked ill he was so thin. Turns out that his body could not digest anything that he was eating and wasn't asorbing and nutrients or vitamins.

He didn't feel ill as such, just tired and a bit run down.

[LowFatMilkshake]

The trouble with his breakfast is that he has it after work. If he had it before he went it would mean him geting up at 3.30am which would increase the lack of sleep. However I do take it on board, I have food thermos and may make him up a batch of porridge to eat at work before he leaves the office. He does have a sweet toth though so I will need to lace it with golden syrup etc. he point blankly refuses stuff he doesnt like the taste of!

His grandad is diabetic and his dad has high blood pressure - I think I am going to have to nag him (again) to go to the doctors.

Thanks all for your support wih this, it's really helpful and means a lot

[FrannyandZooey]

Feeling faint can be a side effect of eating foods that make your blood sugar shoot up and then plummet

Eating chocolate if you feel faint because your blood sugar is low will make you temporarily feel better then set the whole problem off as well

you want to stabilise the blood sugar with low GI foods: oats (porridge), bananas, whole grains etc

[LowFatMilkshake]

Zeph - DH is always run down, always has dark circles under his eyes etc.

Lucie - he is 5'11" and weighs 10st! He has'nt put on any weight since he was 17! He's now 33.

If I was'nt so concerned I'd be jealous (sp)!

[Aloha]

Er, if you are worried about his health, creme eggs and Lucozade aren't going to help! Quite the opposite!
He needs good food - not empty calories in the form of sweets, bad fats and refined carbs. Something when he gets up, like banana or cereal bar, then a breakfast at work - eg peanut butter wholemeal sandwiches plus cereal and fruit. Then lunch when he gets home - pasta with vegetables or sandwiches or baked potato with tuna, normal stuff. Then a proper meal at tea time - fish/meat/chicken and vegetables(I assume he goest to bed quite early). Not all this crap! No wonder he's thin, he scarcely seems to eat any real proper food at all, no protein, no fruit or vegetables and nothing with iron in it. Not that this has to be your job - he's a grown man, but I think his diet is clearly odd and unhealthy.
If he keeps collapsing, and does so even after he starts eating a proper diet, then he should vist the GP.

[zephyrcat]

May be worth mebtioning to him LFM... once my uncle was diagnosed and cut wheat from his diet, he put on 3 stone and now looks 'normal' as opposed to an addict! He's much more full of life and feels so much better. He didn't realise how bad it was because he was just used to being that way.

[luciemule]

Hope you don't mind but I just calculated your Dh's BMI and it's 19.5 (underweight). It says a healthy BMI is between 20 and 25 so he's not that much underweight. Maybe don't tell him that though! My husband would go spare!!! However, pursuing the doc's is a good idea just in case.

[LowFatMilkshake]

Aloha, I agree with you. I do put nutritious meals in front of him and he eats them- although is not a fan of many veggoes. His problem is his job, it doesnt allow for him to eat properly until he gets home. He has a 40 minute break which he can take while out and about, but you can't sit down to lunch in the middle of the street!

I will suggest to him about taking some porridge to work in the thermos.

When I have time I do make him a good lunch when he gets home from work I often offer (depending on DD and DS demands) to cook him a meal - but he says all he want is cereal and perhaps some sort of toased item if we have it in.

Tea time is the only time I can always get a good meal down him. He;s only passed out once since we have been together (11 yrs) he plays sport once a week with friends and once had a funny spell there. I got the sugar stuff for him as that's all I could think to do in a short space of time. Obviously I know it's not a long term answer - but have you tried getting a man to do something he doesnt want to - such as getting medical advice?

As for his sleep pattern. 10-10.30pm bed, 4am up to work, then another 2-3 hours between 2pm and 5pm. As alrady said this will end when I go back to work.

Whe he plays sport he often is'nt home till gone 11pm and yes then I nag him again too!

[Aloha]

But of course he's slim - he's hardly eating anything! A penguin bar has 133 calories, a bowl of cereal is about 200 calories, a hot cross bun around 200, so that's what, around 533 cals all day if he has a bun as well as cereal. So even if his evening meal contained 1000 calories, which is a lot in one meal, he is still only eating less than 1,600 cals a day, when he might need at least 2000, probably nearer 2,500. With a BMI of 19.5 he is certainly slim, but isn't really two stone underweight IMO. My dh is 6'4" and weighs 14stone and wouldn't, IMO be skinny at 13.

[LowFatMilkshake]

Just suggested to him about taking a thermos and he said he doesnt have time to eat at work!

He is on his second packet of crisps now and says although he feels better he still doesnt feel quite right. He's hungry, but feeling a bit sick and still a bot light headed - I could cry talk about take a horse to water!

[Aloha]

I have often eaten my lunch in the middle of the street! Sandwiches and a banana are very portable and can be eaten anywhere. I think he should eat them at the normal breakfast time - 7-8am, so he comes home ready for lunch.

[PrisonerCellBlockAitch]

what about putting some lentil/bean and veg soup in a thermos for lunch? after you've made it and frozen it, that's really just a microwave job so not so much stress for you to knock together.

[PrisonerCellBlockAitch]

sorry, lfms, what is the job that he does?

[Aloha]

God, I'd never take a thermos to work! What's wrong with sandwiches? You can eat those without cutlery!