And if so what should I have done differently?
DC is in yr 11. Not terribly academic, a fairly middle of the road performer, but generally a 'good' ie non trouble making pupil in a slightly rough school. Will be going to college in Sept and not staying on in 6th form.
2 of DCs closest friends no longer attend school, one went to a special unit before starting college in yr 10, another is now home edded. Both missed long periods of school (up to a year) before these changes were made. This may or may not be relevant.
Previously DC had some occasions of not going to school, because they couldn't be bothered or were late and didn't want a late mark. This was in yr 8/9, we had a meeting with the attendance officer which largely resolved matters.
Since Sept, DC has had 3 days off due to brace fittings, 2 days with a stomach bug, 1 day when we all had awful colds just before Xmas, and then this weekend fell down the stairs at home so missed another day yesterday as was very stiff and sore (more mobile today so went in).
I appreciate the importance of attendance, etc. But I'm not sending DC to school if (in my judgment) they're not well enough to go, or they have an appt to attend.
Someone called me from the school today, I think the manager of attendance but she didn't tell me. She did however tell me how she's spoken to DC, told them attendance must improve. DC (who is a people pleaser) apologized, and agreed her suggestion they could have come in on those days - so she has said that DC must come in to school however ill they are and she'll decide if they can go home...
I wasn't happy with this - on every absence I know the reasons and it's been my decision. This felt like she was saying she knew better than me!
She then said she'd contact DCs dad for his agreement. I explained that he sees DC about once a month, not overnight, and so he had little input. She suggested a meeting with myself and 'dad' which I refused as we are NC and I'd like it to stay that way.
I did say I would attend a meeting myself if she could give me notice (as I work Ft so would need to rearrange meetings etc) or discuss it further but as I was at work - stepped out of a meeting to take the call - I couldn't go into it further then.
Which was met with a sigh/tut and a 'oh if you're in a meeting' which felt rather like she thought i wasn't in one at all!
I just feel this is a bit of a fuss over nothing. DCs lessons finish in early May, it's less than one full term, surely there are other children to focus on in lower years?
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AIBU?
Did I handle this interaction with DCs school poorly?
59 replies
bakeofffan · 31/01/2017 17:39
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