7 year old DTs went to a party this morning . I dropped them off and none of the parents stayed. Picked them up later and came home.
I've been out this evening and I've come home to find a text on my phone from another parent complaining about DT1 
I'm friendly with this mother and our boys used to get on well generally with the odd normal falling out .
DT1 has been spending more time lately with another group of boys he likes to play with.
According to this parent , DT1 was nasty to her son at the party and this is the "final straw " - she is making a complaint to school about my son tomorrow .
My DS also , according to the mother , took her sons cake off his plate and ate it .
I've spoken to DT1 and he said that this boys cake had gone "missing" whilst they were all playing with balloons but he definitely didn't take it - the boy had asked DT1 where it was and DT1 said he didn't know. The boy then cried .
I've asked DT1 what has been happening at school and he says he plays with other boys and often this boy wants to play with DT1 alone and gets upset when DT1 doesn't want to.
For context , we used to have regular play dates with this boy but I stopped encouraging the friendship as whenever he came over he was openly rude and nasty to my DT2. He would also go in constant strops if things didn't go his way and you could never tell if what he was saying was fact or tall tales. He was pretty full on.
He also once alleged my DT1 had punched him in the face at school - horrified , I asked the teacher if this was true and the teacher had said no 
DT1 never was invited over to this boys house to play .
That said , I know there is always two sides to every story and I am in no way under the impression that DT1 has been constantly patient and kind with the situation !
I'm friendly with this parent but I'm quite annoyed that she's chosen to message me rather than approach school first !
What do I reply with ? 
AIBU?
Is it ever OK to text a parent complaining about their child?
ReturnOfTheSausages · 29/01/2017 19:57
It's not really a school issue and I'm sure they will tell her that anyway.
I wouldn't bother replying to her but if you must then just acknowledge what shes said along the lines of ' thanks for your text, I will have a chat with dt and deal with this accordingly'.
Theres no need to tell her whether you did or did not discipline. She will hopefully feel you have done something and taken her seriously.
Then block her from your phone 
I think it's best to let her know that you think the boy's have drifted apart as friends. 7 year-olds are pretty fickle; best friends one day, falling out the next. That's all normal 7 year-old behaviour in my experience.
If either of you think there is bullying going on at school from either side, then the mum making a noise at school will flag that up. It may actually be more easily resolved by the school if there is an issue, rather than you mums having a spat.
The school would look at any issues from a neutral perspective. I agree with previous comments though, they won't be remotely interested in 2nd hand anecdotes from a child's party.. how ludicrous .
Yes DT1 can be hard work
I'm thinking of sending this:
"I'm sorry to hear XXX was upset. I've spoken to DT1 and he says he didn't take his cake. Maybe we should encourage them to play with other people for a while. Hope XXX feels better soon . Sausages ".
Does this sound ok ?
Maybe don't put Sausages at the end?
I actually don't think you should get into an argument about Who Stole the Cake. It's not crime of the century, they're just children and you'll never get to the bottom of it. Maybe birthday mum rammed it in her mouth as she was clearing up?!
Perhaps add at the end that you don't want to fall out, so let's leave the school to resolve any issues between the boys in the classroom?
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