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Serious work issues!

(55 Posts)
Againagain97 Tue 17-Jan-17 06:36:17

I was lucky enough to find a job really close to home.....

This is a massive plus point.

I love the type of work.

But, their "management" skills are ZERO.

The managing director is living in the age of the old school "I can literally shout and scream at you, I own you" era.

At interview, I was asked "what is the one thing that turns you "off" in the office"

My response was "aggression", I was assured no aggression was present in the office bollocks!

I've raised my concerns, received apologies, been given a large bonus (bribe) but I feel I'm losing my self respect and dignity.

Two others in the office, desperate to leave but they just can't, the skill sets they have are not sought after and they cannot find new jobs.

I'm In a different position, I could easily obtain further employment, my skills are sought after.

But, been there less than one year, not great on a CV, although I could easily explain away. Although, this has rocked me, supposing my next employer is worse? I left a job I'd been in five years, for something closer to home and more varied work.

An example, I had to drop off some work to the managing director, this work had not been requested but I got an urgent text at 7am from her assistant saying could I drop off as they needed it for the meeting. I went in early, prepped the stuff, took it round to her to take to the meeting.

Her husband opened the door, wished me happy new year. I took the items into the kitchen and was met with an absolute tirade of screaming! Things beyond my control, one thing I had not "followed up" on, fair enough speak to me in a civil manner about that! But honestly, she was eating her cornflakes whilst shouting at me, spitting them everywhere. Her husband left the room.

Now this is about the sixth time (at least) since I've been there. When she calms down I'll get an apology, but I don't want to work under these circumstances. It's not fair and I work REALLY hard.

In my appraisal it was massively positive, they acknowledged that targets would not have been met without me.

But then, it's a hissy fit "whys this not done", because you said this was more important and you wanted this done first! Honestly, the unreasonableness is beyond belief.

Loads of MI data will also be requested and not used, wasting time etc. But it's a control thing, (I think) I say do it, so you do it. Then I won't bloody well look at it.

They acknowledge we are massively understaffed, trying to recruit qualified staff, but that's difficult. I also feel a level of guilt at someone else having to work like this.

I get paid a decent wage, slightly more than the going rate (maybe £3k) but the benefits are shocking. Lots of small companies start with poor benefits, but are massively reasonable once they know you and realise that you are flexible and will reciprocate! It's now clear that even if I did 100 hours extra a week, it would be "oh great" one day and then another mad rant the next day!

I'm a professional, I should just be walking away shouldn't i?

Although (stupidly) I feel a level of guilt as this would really leave them in the shit!


Figgygal Tue 17-Jan-17 06:39:40


She won't change you will be happier elsewhere.

Figgygal Tue 17-Jan-17 06:40:28

Also she's leaving herself in the shit due to her behaviour it's hard on your colleagues but not your responsibility

mum2Bomg Tue 17-Jan-17 06:40:40

Leg it - not your problem. (Well it is at the moment but not if you leave!!)

This is what is meant by the culture of a company. You don't realise they have an awful one, or none until it's shite. I used to think the culture of a company was bollocks but you need to find the right fit and people you can work happily with.

SallyInSweden Tue 17-Jan-17 06:40:53

Are you generally a people pleaser?

If you dealt with the basic lack of good manners at the time what would happen?

Gizlotsmum Tue 17-Jan-17 06:41:25

What would happen if you walked away when being screamed at? State you will listen when they stop shouting?

Middleoftheroad Tue 17-Jan-17 06:44:49

No decent boss behaves in that way. leave!

footballmum Tue 17-Jan-17 06:45:28

Yes, leave. If it were just another colleague there a ways and means of dealing with the situation but as it's the MD I suspect you aren't going to get her to change.

Just discretely and quietly find yourself something else and if asked why you're leaving just say you're looking to work in a larger company where there are more career opportunities.

Word of warning - don't me too honest when giving your reason for leaving to your current employer. She sounds like a particularly volatile character and may try and give you a negative reference. Not legal at all but also a pain in the arse to have to fight afterwards.

Some people really shouldn't manage employees. She might have an epiphany one day when she realises she can't retain good staff but somehow I doubt it.

Good luck!!

Againagain97 Tue 17-Jan-17 06:50:48

Wow.....that's pretty unanimous!

To answer PPs...... if I walked away what would happen the time she would probably "sack me". It would be this is MY company, I NEED dedicated staff, I gave you a bonus, I pay you! (Real old school, city working type stuff)

PP who asked am I a people pleaser? Yes, unfortunately I am.

I need a sign over my desk like they have on buses etc. I will not tolerate abuse, or threatening behaviour or violence against me"

Rhubardandcustard Tue 17-Jan-17 06:51:20

Leave or start looking for another job now.

Meanwhile when your boss (or anyone) starts acting in this manner, I would simply say I won't be shouted and screamed at, when you are calm and want to talk aboutnthia rationally lets discuss this then, and walk away back to your desk. If they follow still screaming, walk away again, loo, car anywhere repeating the same message.

I wouldn't tolerate being screamed at like this.

NavyandWhite Tue 17-Jan-17 06:55:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Againagain97 Tue 17-Jan-17 07:00:19

Rhubarb, I wish I was you!

I wish I had walked away the very first time!

Another example, she made an error. Whilst she was out, I sort of noticed it but thought she may have done it in a specific way for a reason unknown to me. I text saying ring when you are out of your meeting,

She rang at 7 (my work hours finish at 5) I explained what had happened, told her if it was wrong I had agreement that if I emailed a certain person before 8, they would do me a favour and stop the action (my hours start at 9, so would be in office at 7.45). The response......she went ballistic!! Don't question me blah blah. Only to admit the next day it was the wrong action.

I said then, should I just close my eyes to people's errors (we all make them!) what had I done wrong?

Another apology!

ForalltheSaints Tue 17-Jan-17 07:06:10

Leave as quick as you can. At some point make it clear (perhaps once you know you have the new job for definite) that you have only left because of the unreasonable behaviour.

Point out to her that if a male boss behaved like that to a man, most likely they would be the subject of physical violence, much as that is not acceptable behaviour.

topcat2014 Tue 17-Jan-17 07:07:54

I would leave - life is too short for shit employers.

I once hated a job on my first day, but ended up staying three years out of 'guilt'.

Looking back, I should have just not gone in the second day.

ChuckSnowballs Tue 17-Jan-17 07:09:15

Walk away. I Did the same myself although it wasn't shouting it was the undermining and gaslighting. Having none of it.

Againagain97 Tue 17-Jan-17 07:14:49

So the consensus is leave....don't even try to sort this out?

I think it probably cannot be sorted.

I'll sort my CV today!

123MothergotafleA Tue 17-Jan-17 07:15:58

She's completely unhinged!
But she must be told that her behaviour is unacceptable, at the risk of a shower of cornflakes.
That made me howl.
You do not owe this woman a single penny. Leave with your head held high and your middle finger raised.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Tue 17-Jan-17 07:22:22

Your mental and physical health will suffer if you stay there much longer. A year is plenty of time to commit to a job these days. Move on and feel no guilt whatsoever about this. You have done much more than you were obliged to and got no (sincere) appreciation for it. You deserve better. Good luck!

Shakey15000 Tue 17-Jan-17 07:23:04

If you can afford to leave today then do. Life is too short. If you can't then take the advice of walking away, telling them to talk to you when they've calmed down.

Oh, and if you do leave today, I'd email my resignation, with immediate effect and turn my phone off. Alternatively stride in and calmly hand it in explaining why. Smile, and walk away with your head held high. Good luck!

NavyandWhite Tue 17-Jan-17 07:23:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mossop17 Tue 17-Jan-17 07:24:19


I like you am a people pleaser and have been in my current job 9 months. Although i dont get shouted at thank goodness, i also dont get treated properly, its like im not there, i work in an unorthodox unit, often am there by myself with very little communication from the management! no notes, no instructions etc etc. I got peed off with it and looked elsewhere and scored a new job (starting next week) i was worried about handing in notice as im the only employee, i was worried i would be leaving them in the poop, i was worried that they would freak that i was leaving, well all they said was ok ill get someone else in! great i thought nice to be appreciated! i also would work extra when asked look after the place when they went on holidays, mulitple trips to the office at all hours to do stuff! use my own phone to contact customers, work alone nearly every shift without toilet facilities! Now im leaving i know that i am worth more than to be treated this way. Get looking, get out and good luck! they will find someone else to shout at eventually!

NavyandWhite Tue 17-Jan-17 07:24:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiredMumToTwo Tue 17-Jan-17 07:30:30

I experienced exactly the same thing, only lasted a couple of months before a Director balled me out on email for something that wasn't my fault.
I left the job with nothing to go to (not suggesting you do this) for the first time ever in my life.
Get out, no one deserves to be treated like that and it will never change.

RaskolnikovsGarret Tue 17-Jan-17 07:32:13

I had a boss like this. She would scream at me for mistakes in letters that I didn't even know existed, let alone had written. It got worse whenever she had an argument with her boyfriend. hmm

I had to put up with it, as it was part of my two year training contract at a City law firm. Imagine my joy when my placement with her finished six weeks early, as I was asked to work in the Hong King office.

I would never put up with it now. Never. Simply unacceptable. Please leave OP.

MudCity Tue 17-Jan-17 07:32:48

Leave and make it absolutely clear why.

No doubt she will try to talk you round, then shout and scream, then be nice, then shout and scream again.

Be assertive and tell her you will not accept that kind of behaviour. She is embarrassing herself.

She has clearly got away with this kind of behaviour for years....her temper is out of control. For whatever reason, people have not told her (or maybe some have but not enough for her to listen). You don't have to put up with it. Find a new job, get a reference and go.

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