Posting here for traffic as dd upset and I really cd do with some options and perspective - story first .
Dd long term bf agreed to go travel this summer before uni
Wen dd discussed some weeks ago her friend told her she didn't recall the conversation and she had arranged go with two other girls
My dd upset and after discussion the other girl said join them
Dd thought about it and said y day she wd like to ( some weeks later - lot on a level revision etc) so her friend gave her the dates and itinerary
Then later yesterday evening she got a text to say she couldn't go as the others didn't want her to
( she doesn't know the others well ) and the reason they gave was they have refused others so can't allow dd . The mother of the other girl said it's because they don't want upset group dynamic .
My dd v upset as it feels like she has been told she can do this twice then told she can't .
I was there when they originally discussed it and find it hard to believe that her friend forgot the discussion . She is a very polite girl and I guess this is an excuse .
The girls mum I suspect but don't know thinks my dd is bit of wild child in that she goes to parties , drinks quite a bit ( had to go to hospital once but learnt from it ) - she does not more than many teens but the difference is she tells me !
The girls mum has told me that she thinks this once and in the back of my mind is the worrying thought that there may be some influence away from my dd here .for eg my dd has not been invited on holiday to their holiday home despite her friend saying she wanted her to go but others have for number of years . She's been told her can go but then she sees a snap chat of her there with someone else .
Anyway I now have a very upset dd who had planned the travel as a motivation to buckle down with her a levels .
Her other friends in her set are not going to travel .
Does anyone know of any schemes were dd could travel - ? She doesn't want to go alone . I have googled but can't find .
She is very sad about her friend - can't understand it - do I mention my suspected social engineering ? It could be me being totally paranoid - but I want her to kno that friends can be relied on as it's broken some of her vision of friendship a bit - so if I cd explain a possible context it may help ? ( but it's a gut reaction / fear not actual knowledge )
So it's two things
1 travel options
2 do I discuss as above or is it not my business !
I'm very upset ( and may not be thinking clearly )as she is vulnerable at the mo so please be gentle ..
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
To ask for help re dd travelling options here as she has been let down by friend .
75 replies
ginorwine · 05/01/2017 10:23
OP posts:
SallyInSweden ·
05/01/2017 11:21
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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