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AIBU?

To be really upset that my sister didn't ask me to be her baby's Godmother?

56 replies

KittensWithWeapons · 21/12/2016 23:00

I know I am. I'm being really silly, and petty, and unreasonable. But, I'm really saddened by this. I've been on hand whenever my sister wanted me to help. I've stayed over, minded him, let sister and her DH have lie ins. I've spent three hours on a bus almost every week since he's been born, to either babysit or just keep my sister company. I really thought they'd ask me to be his godmother. But nope. Other sister who just swans in, holds him and poses for photographs, then buggers off on a night out is the Godmother. I'm really hurt by this. Please talk some sense into me!

OP posts:

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Underthemoonlight · 21/12/2016 23:02

It's her choice at the end of the day but I wouldn't be as hands on as you have been op

DJBaggySmalls · 21/12/2016 23:04

I dont think that sounds silly or petty at all. I'd back off as well, its a shame.

ChimpyChops · 21/12/2016 23:04

I would have said that maybe they didn't want to use Aunties as Godparents but obviously they have anyway. I would ask, I would have to. Yes it is their decision but I would have to know why.

NotStoppedAllDay · 21/12/2016 23:05

Do you actually go to church?

KERALA1 · 21/12/2016 23:05

Surely it's odd to have a sister at all? Thought it was friends who were godparents not family - they are bonded to the child anyway as they are the aunts.

Buttercupsandaisies · 21/12/2016 23:05

I'd be hurt too op that quite mean

As a side note tho I disagree with family being godparents - surely family are heavily involved/special role anyway so godparents for me have always been long term friends

WorraLiberty · 21/12/2016 23:06

I was going to say but you're the auntie, so no need to be Godmother too but obviously so is your sister.

Strange choice unless your other sister is more religious than you?

ScarletSienna · 21/12/2016 23:07

Maybe she is trying to get your other sister more involved rather than it being a reflection on you. She obviously thinks a lot of you for you to be involved and looking after him in the way that you have.

allowlsthinkalot · 21/12/2016 23:08

Maybe they want to forge a bond or encourage your other sister to be more involved?

WhoKn0wsWhereTheMistletoes · 21/12/2016 23:09

Maybe they are hoping that making her godmother will prompt her to make more of an effort, they haven't needed to with you as you are already very hands-on. I can see why you are hurt though.

Bluebolt · 21/12/2016 23:10

I was not expecting that another sister would be chosen. That is awful for you. Sometimes people always try to impress those who make the least effort. They take your love and commitment as a constant and in doing so take you for granted.

SixthSenseless · 21/12/2016 23:10

You will have an actual loving, close relationship with your nephew.
You don't need a title for that.

GTS · 21/12/2016 23:11

why on earth wouldn't they have both of you though? seems a very strange decision to me. I don't think yabu, I would be hurt too :(

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 21/12/2016 23:11

I was also going to say that "aren't you Aunty so don't need to be god mother?" but seems odd that your other sister is. Could it be that she feels you really ARE Aunty and that other sister needs the extra label to boost her confidence or get her more involved? If you're close enough to do so much for them then can you tell your sister how you're feeling?

Coconut0il · 21/12/2016 23:14

I would be upset in that situation too. I think I'd have to ask why. I'd accept it if it was a close friend but choosing another sister would be really upsetting.

KittensWithWeapons · 21/12/2016 23:27

I adore my nephew, btw. He's amazing. He's made all of our lives so much better. I appreciate all your replies. I think there's something to the idea that Sister isn't around as much so is being made Godmother to make her feel better. And I hate even thinking that way, nephew isn't a toy to be bickered over.

OP posts:

junebirthdaygirl · 21/12/2016 23:30

Did she chose an older sister or the one closest in age to her? I have a few sisters so obviously one would have to be chosen over another and we understood that.
Do you practice your beliefs? Does your dsis?
I wouldn't ask at its totally her prerogative but would pull back from being helpful.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 21/12/2016 23:38

I'd also hope (clutching straws) she is trying to involve your other sister more closely.

I don't think it is unusual for family to be godparents. It always used to be understood that godparents are not only the people responsible for bringing your child up in the Church, but also the people who would step in if (God forbid) anything happened to you. And that might very well be your sister.

But I would find it extremely hard not to want to know her reasons, if I were you.

HOHOHOvariesBeforeBrovaries · 21/12/2016 23:39

I was going to say YABU as we deliberately avoided siblings as godparents but the fact that she's chosen a different sister and one who isn't as hands-on as you is pretty shitty to be fair :( YANBU.

Agiraffeisnotacat · 21/12/2016 23:41

I didn't want my sister as godmother to my child as I thought she'd be involved anyway. She asked and in the end I agreed despite me not wanting to (DH is atheist so didn't care), to save family hassle. Seems fairly pointless though.

DC2 has non family godparents who treat them as though they are special. Family godparents aren't ideal imo.

I reckon your sister just thought you'd be there anyway and your other sister may not. Much as it doesn't feel like it, I think it is a compliment that shows she didn't need to give you a role to make you special.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/12/2016 23:42

That is shit, no wonder your hurt. I woukd back off a bit, and be less available. Mabey talk to your sister and tell her your hurt.

Crispbutty · 21/12/2016 23:43

Is she the eldest sister? Maybe the plan is for you to be godmother to their second child.

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Xmasbaby11 · 21/12/2016 23:44

That is awful. You sound like a lovely auntie. As others have said, she is probably trying to get your sister more involved.

MuppetsChristmasCarol · 21/12/2016 23:45

In our family, relatives are never asked to be godparents as it's assumed that family will always be around anyway. Godparent title is just for honouring a good family friend who isn't already an auntie etc.

Also, is your sister religious, and are you?

Sorry you're upset about it though.

age81 · 21/12/2016 23:47

My dsis did exactly the same except it was the girlfriend of her DH best friend. She has been nowhere to be seen since my nephew was about 2 (24 years ago)

I did back off massively when I realised she was taking the Mick and I was just at her back and call!

You need to not be too available.

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