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AIBU?

Eating when we have visitors

57 replies

Alicesmith85 · 17/10/2016 10:37

My husband is grating on me hugely lately for a variety of reasons. We had an argument yesterday as my mum popped round to return something of mine. We were eating dinner at the time. I think it is incredibly rude that he carries on stuffing his face whilst my mum was in the living room, he also had the tv on full volume and made no attempt to turn it down and interrupted my conversation rudely several times. My mum was asking me about a descion I need to make about work, I said I would probably go ahead with the descion he then buts in, she's doing it end off. This descion has no impact on him what so ever and is mine alone. My mum was talking to me directly, not him!
I've spoken to him a number of times over the years about interrupting my conversations/contradicting me and he refuses to stop.

Rant over! Thanks to those who read.

OP posts:

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Sparklesilverglitter · 17/10/2016 10:38

If somebody turns up when I am eating then I carry on, it's my house

Pumpkinpumpkinpie42 · 17/10/2016 10:40

If somebody turns up when I have sat down to my dinner, I am not going to eat my dinner later when honestly I will be past it. I will finish my meal.

Sirzy · 17/10/2016 10:40

If someone turns up when I am eating I carry on. If you turn up unannounced at someone's house you have to be willing to take them as you find them.

As for the interrupting, was it interrupting or joining in a conversation which was taking place in the room with him? (Although his comment was rude)

Could you and your mum not have gone elsewhere in the house?

Mishegoss · 17/10/2016 10:41

If someone turns up at dinnertime then I'll keep eating especially if they haven't come to talk to me specifically. Calm down.

Meadows76 · 17/10/2016 10:42

Good god it was only your mum

NickNacks · 17/10/2016 10:42

I think your mum was the rude one.

EdmundCleverClogs · 17/10/2016 10:42

You think it was rude for him to carry on eating his dinner? Yabu. You should have moved to another room to have your chat. Waits for dripfeed or reverse.

Dontpanicpyke · 17/10/2016 10:43

With your dh on this sorry I hate people dropping by. I would have eaten my dinner and if it was something I wanted to watch I would carry on watching tv.

You and your mother should have moved if you wanted a private chat with no imput from your dh.

DownTownAbbey · 17/10/2016 10:43

I'd (probably) carry on eating but the other stuff is very annoying.

charlestonchaplin · 17/10/2016 10:44

I think it's fine for him to carry on eating but I wouldn't have anyone speak to my mother like that!

Alicesmith85 · 17/10/2016 10:45

Ok thanks guys perhaps I am being unreasonable . We've been cooped up all weekend with poorly dc so I'm probably being off.

As for the interrupting, my mum was talking to me directly. He has a habit of interupting/correcting my conversations. It happens all the time. Downstairs is all open plan so no where I could of taken my mum other than where we were!

OP posts:

mammagheddon · 17/10/2016 10:45

I don't think your DM was rude, presumably you wanted her to come over and have a dynamic that accommodates visiting unannounced.

Very rude of him to say she's doing it end of. Did he think your mum was trying to change your mind? Or was he aiming to make her feel unwelcome?

Sirzy · 17/10/2016 10:48

So you wanted him to stop eating, turn off the tv and sit in silence while you and your mum had a private chat then?

JosephineMaynard · 17/10/2016 10:48

If someone turns up unexpectedly at a mealtime, then it's perfectly reasonable for people to continue eating their meal.

The interrupting the conversation was rude though.

Oysterbabe · 17/10/2016 10:48

You expected him to put his dinner aside and finish it later when it's cold and gross? That's just odd.

EdmundCleverClogs · 17/10/2016 10:48

no where I could of taken my mum other than where we were!

Not have a quick chat outside, or upstairs? If I caught someone in the middle of dinner I would have handed whatever over and said I'd ring them later. Perhaps we have different idea of manners though.

Bambamrubblesmum · 17/10/2016 10:49

YABU it's your mum not the queen! She pops in she has to take you as she finds you. I think I'd be annoyed if I was expected to stop eating when I'd just started.

Alicesmith85 · 17/10/2016 10:50

My mum wasn't trying to change my mind so it wasn't that. I'm beginning to get very tired of the way he speaks to me in front of others. He does hate people dropping by but I dont! Plus mum was returning something to me that I needed back asap. I just wish he wouldn't contstantly interupt/contradict/correct me .

OP posts:

2014newme · 17/10/2016 10:50

Ask her to ring before she comes round. I wouldn't want drop ins interrupting dinner.

Dontpanicpyke · 17/10/2016 10:51

Do your mum and your dh get on though.

See if I thought my dh shouldn't finish his dinner because my mother descended on us then I know it would annoy my dh and make him dislike my mother.

Does he think she's interfering generally? If you think he needs to leave his dinner because she decides to visit it sounds like you are putting her needs first and expect him to do the same.

That would irritate most people to be honest.

Alicesmith85 · 17/10/2016 10:52

Just to clarify, My mum was literally popping in to return something. He didn't even lift his head up to acknowledge her apart from when he decided to give his two pence worth about my work.

OP posts:

passmethewineplease · 17/10/2016 10:54

Does he always talk to you like you're a child?

The dinner thing YABU, it would go cold.

He could of acknowledged your mother, a quick hello would suffice.

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MakeMyWineADouble · 17/10/2016 10:55

It does seem your not sure what you want from him you want him to stop eating and turn the to off so you can talk but not be involved in the conversation! For me someone dropping something round at dinner I would thank them at the door and then say I would call them later as we are eating. What he said and the way he said it was rude and if it's a ongoing problem needs addressing but I think the 2 are separate issues

Dontpanicpyke · 17/10/2016 10:55

And really if I popped in to return something and the couple were eating I would feel it was incredibly rude to stay put.

You seem to hold your mums feelings in higher regard than your partners. I think you were both irritating him that's why he joined in.

Crazycatlady123 · 17/10/2016 10:55

People turning up unannounced is my pet hate. My MIL does it all the time and it gets on my nerves, especially when it's dinner time, so I can completely see why DH was snappy.

But obviously if he's constantly interrupting/contradicting/correcting on other occasions that's a separate issue.

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