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AIBU?

To think it serves her right?

66 replies

JunosRevenge · 15/10/2016 12:37

My DD was treated badly all through primary and secondary school by her group of 'friends'. They put her down at every opportunity, and called her stupid. Her nickname to them was 'Airhead'. They criticised her clothes, her hair, her other friends, her pastimes and hobbies. They all played instruments and she was mocked for not being as good as them.

We moved away when she was 16 and despite being diagnosed with severe anxiety, she did very well at A levels and is now at her 1st choice uni. Just started her 2nd year.

Yesterday I heard that the chief Mean Girl (studying medicine at prestigious university) completely failed all her 1st year exams. She has dropped out (much to the fury of her parents) and is working at a shop in the Uni town.

I can't help feeling just a bit pleased. Does this make me a bad person?

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sonlypuppyfat · 15/10/2016 12:39

I don't think it makes you a bad person I'd be skipping about if I were you, but someone will come along and tell you how wicked you are

RoseGoldHippie · 15/10/2016 12:40

I don't think you are BU - KARMA is a bitch

Sparklesilverglitter · 15/10/2016 12:42

That's the way is it with a lot of bullies

When I was at school, there was a group of girls at secondary school that were very nasty at one point they broke my arm and set fire to my hair. I still live in my home town as does the "top" bully.
I went to uni and now at 39 I've now got a top level job in IT, im married to a lovely man and I've got gorgeous DD. She works in the chip shop. I have to admit it gives me a small amount of pleasure maybe I am petty but she really was nasty

No I don't think you are a bad person! Your just enjoying karma coming back around

FirstTimerAtBeingAMummy · 15/10/2016 12:43

Not so much a bad person as I can understand the pain behind the feelings. But you should take in to account that that girl is not the same girl she was in primary/secondary school. Are you the same person you were in school? Bullying is a horrible experience to go through but your DD is winning in life. Take pride in the fact that despite everything others put her through you have a DD that is succeeding and is lovely :-)

RosieThorn · 15/10/2016 12:43

No, it makes you human. I wouldn't fully trust anyone who wouldn't feel just a little bit pleased in those circumstances!

Emmageddon · 15/10/2016 12:45

Yeah, karma is a bitch alright. But I wonder if Mean Girl was studying medicine to please her parents and not because she wanted to be a doctor? In which case she is probably delighted to have finished with exams and stress and is enjoying working in a shop. I often wonder if bullies are bullied in other areas of their lives.

JellyBelli · 15/10/2016 12:48

I'd have to at least whisper 'whos the airhead now?'

JunosRevenge · 15/10/2016 12:52

Phew thanks all. I feel a bit bad for taking delight in the misfortune of another, but this just feels like karma.

Emma - no this young lady was not pressured to do medicine by her parents. I knew them very well. She (the Mean DD) was unsure what to study but school steered her towards medicine because she was so clever. Her dad is lovely but mum is a Mean Girl too.

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RoseGoldHippie · 15/10/2016 12:52

Haha Jelly - me too!

AdoraBell · 15/10/2016 12:57

You would only BU if you called her parents /her to gloat.

Far better to live well, best revenge ever

JellyBelli · 15/10/2016 12:59

AdoraBell Thats a lovely neat way to express how I feel, I'm going to blatantly steal it

IceIceIce · 15/10/2016 13:00

Nope. I take great pleasure in the fact that my bullies are now all massively obese. I hope they feel how I used to every time someone makes a comment. I still have issues with my looks because of them.

EweAreHere · 15/10/2016 13:02

I don't blame you at all. What goes around comes around...

BalloonSlayer · 15/10/2016 13:08

She (the Mean DD) was unsure what to study but school steered her towards medicine because she was so clever.

hmm doubt this. You can't get into study medicine unless you can prove it's all you want to do, have done Work Ex, shown it's your vocation etc.

She sounds like a cow but it does sound very much like she was always being pressured to achieve.

dotdotdotmustdash · 15/10/2016 13:11

Old Chinese proverb: If you wait by the side of the river long enough, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by...

Gatehouse77 · 15/10/2016 13:14

It doesn't make you a bad person for thinking it, totally understandable.
But, as AdoraBell said, keep it to yourself and a select few. Gloating is not a nice trait.

I also agree with RosieThorn - it's a natural reaction. Like seeing the ’baddies' get their comeuppance in any situation, real or fiction, it is satisfying.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 15/10/2016 13:16

Are you talking about Oxford. I am glad your dd ignored them the best she could and is not working towards greater things, well done.

perfumedlife · 15/10/2016 13:18

YANBU, only human.

Sellingyesterdaysnews · 15/10/2016 13:24

I do think it's negative to enjoy her failure.. Understandable maybe but reflects bitterness from the past. It would be better to disengage from Mean girls progress entirely and enjoy dds success.
However it's not that surprising either.. Because Mean girl must have been acting out what was done to her by her parents or her insecurities.. Bullies are not happy and psychologically healthy people. Maybe reframe Mean girl as a psychologically insecure bully who is now failing and leave it at that.

Sellingyesterdaysnews · 15/10/2016 13:26

However having been bullied myself at work I know I would love their unhealthy leadership methods to be exposed and for them to become unstuck, so I know where you are coming from.

Shiningexample · 15/10/2016 13:30

Schadenfreude, it's a knee jerk response isnt it
Understandable but we should probably try to contain as well as reflect on our knee jerk responses

MerylPeril · 15/10/2016 13:36

Oh no - there was a horrible girl at school who was particularly nasty to my very kind friend.

Kind friend did very well at a levels - horrible girl failed 2 and got 1 D.
Her parents put a massive advert congratulating her in the local paper

We laughed our pants off....

I heard nasty girl was mortified by the advert

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travellinglighter · 15/10/2016 13:37

I do love a bit of Karma. So yanbu.

YouHadMeAtCake · 15/10/2016 13:39

YANBU and anyone that says they wouldn't be even a little pleased is fibbing. I'd probably go into said shop and smirk a little. Serves the mean girl right indeed.

JunosRevenge · 15/10/2016 13:40

Balloon - MG was definitely aiming at a different career path by the time we left when they were 16.

Adorable - Yes, totally. Her parents don't know that I know as far as I am aware, and I hope it stays that way.

Sunshine - no, not Oxford. There are other prestigious universities I believe...
Needless to say, my DD did take notice of them. She thought they were her friends. She is v. happy at her 1st choice Russell Group uni, studying the subject she has been passionate about since she learned to read for, and she IS aiming towards greater things. Thank you for your concern though

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