Not particularly bothered but this situation but would be interested on people's views.
My sister is a couple of years older than me and spend a big chunk of her life as the "career girl", single (being the other woman in numerous affairs!) and living a very different life to me. I had a vocational job, married early, had kids relatively early and became a SAHM on a smallholding.
Sister was quite good with the kids when they were little and used to shower them with gifts etc. Never much use when she came to stay though-expected feeding and housing, never helped etc. Christmas was always at ours despite the fact DH was often working Xmas day, we had animals etc to sort, babies, toddlers etc. She would drink, snooze, eat and not do a lot else!
She met her now DH just before she was 40. They both then would come, stay, be fed, drink sleep etc etc. She did have kids occasionally for "Disney Aunt" weekends-but they were always Friday night to early Sunday morning because they had to get the shopping done etc etc. (They live and work urban and are in shops daily, we live rural). Xmas still always at ours-they would have Xmas eve with his family, and rock up to ours hungover and eat, snooze, drink.....you get the picture!
We are very different people and had less and less in common. She then would start ringing me "what do the kids want for Xmas, B'day etc"-I would say whatever-they are kids. She on a couple of occasions promised them trips out etc for present but 9mths later they still hadn't gone because she was so busy-according to her FB page at parties, or glamping or on holiday (oh the holidays!). Kids began to lose interest in their Aunt (never really got on with their Uncle anyway!) as she would never follow up on promises and didn't do anything with them if they were here.
So now, looking back, we haven't spoken for 2 years! We broke the 14yr Xmas habit by going away, then my parents and Dsis and BIL went away the next year together. She stopped sending even birthday cards for the kids-or even a simple message as they are all on social media etc. We sent Xmas gifts via my parents, send postcards from holiday. But haven't heard anything for 2 yrs! They live about 40mins away from us.
We're not bothered-you don't chose your family and we have always been very different people. The kids aren't bothered although I feel it's a shame as we have no other family but they are all not fazed at all. However my parents are bothered. They say it's a shame we don't communicate, seem to see it is our fault (can't get an explanation as to why or what we did!), seem to see that we should be offering an olive branch-but I don't know what for!!
So AIBU to not be bothered by this petering out of a family relationship? Or should I try and mend bridges for my kids-who equally aren't bothered?!
Reading back seems to focus a lot on presents-not sure why!
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AIBU?
To not have contact with my sister
75 replies
Abloodybigholeintheground · 11/09/2016 00:37
OP posts:
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