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To wonder if other people struggle to do the basic shit

(78 Posts)
Abbinob Sat 28-May-16 10:03:04

that you have to do in life/parenting e.g

Leaving the house ready with the toddler before 1pm, if its a nursery day i get DS ready, put yesterdays clothes on then come back and shower- if it's a work day DP is off so I just get me ready and out by 6:30am then he sorts DS but how do people get showered, dry their hair, make up, sort hair out, feed toddler, dress toddler, convince toddler to put shoes on etc all before 9am?

Food shopping- bane of my life. half of it ends up in the freezer never to be defrosted in favour of strolling across the road to to the shops for a ready meal and seems to costs a billion pounds.

Cleaning/tidying- I just cant be fucked half the time. it's not filthy but it's never tidy really

Let alone having a social life. everyone else i know seems to do so many...things.for fun!

Probably, i'm eternally lazy or something

charliesweb Sat 28-May-16 10:05:35

Sounds like my life but I have no excuse as I have 3dc but the youngest is 9!
The problem is I just not find cleaning as interesting as all the other things I could be doing like lounging in bed on mumsnet grin

charliesweb Sat 28-May-16 10:06:42

Oh dear one sentence in that didn't even make sense!
I hope you got the gist.

sophree Sat 28-May-16 10:06:47

I feel the same.
I think it is partly laziness, but also kids can be exhausting and I still haven't caught up on the lost sleep from newborn days!
Every monday I tell myself I will become a new more organised person.
But then I don't even know where to start ? grin

wobblywonderwoman Sat 28-May-16 10:06:56

I am struggling at the moment but when I am doing well it batch cook. Buy two chickens and roast them and make curries or whatever for the freezer. I even peel and boil loads of potatoes and freeze (I don't tell dh) so some night we can just have a pork chop, veg and the mash. Less washing up and time needed.

I leave out toddlers clothes and we all shower at night.

I am struggling at the moment though - it's not easy

PeppaIsMyHero Sat 28-May-16 10:07:37

I get up and get myself ready before anyone else wakes up to be in with a hope of -having 30 mins peace- getting everyone and everything where they need to be in a fit state.

My DP does 50% of housework(ish), childcare and shopping, and we also do things separately like see friends as well as together, but when I'm home I'm normally heading to bed by 9 as I'm always catching up on sleep. sad

Afreshstartplease Sat 28-May-16 10:11:01

I'm struggling ATM, 19 weeks pregnant and 3 DC aged 3-8 years

Everyone fed no one dead

TendonQueen Sat 28-May-16 10:12:30

It's not just you blush charliesWeb is right though, there are so many distractions. I am terrible for 'just another 5 minutes doing this fun thing' syndrome. Best tactic is setting phone timer for 15 minutes and making yourself do that much tidying etc. It gets more done than you'd think.

Decanter Sat 28-May-16 10:14:23

Everyone fed no one dead

I love that Afreshstart! grin

Abbinob Sat 28-May-16 10:17:02

Everyone fed no one dead is brilliant grin

Oh i have monday syndrome too, i make all these lists and shit and then come actual monday I decide that maybe next monday will do. Occasionally I get super organised for a week but then it's boring and too much effort so I give up

wherethewildthingis Sat 28-May-16 10:18:21

It's really hard! We manage reasonably well by dividing literally everything fifty fifty. Magnetic wipe clean organiser chart on fridge, Sunday night diaries out and we decide who will pick up and drop off each day, who cooks dinner and what we are having. Chores e.g midweek hoover on the chart. All ironing for the week done Sunday night. One big clean on a Friday or Saturda
We both work full time and have one three year old. It is hard - we are constantly busy feeling like swimming against the tide. Just about managing but no time for ourselves.
E.g i now get up at half four three days a week so that i can run before work - that's my only free time!

awhfuck Sat 28-May-16 10:18:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HowBadIsThisPlease Sat 28-May-16 10:20:54

Yes. Less and less as dcs get older, but yes I totally struggle to do basic shit.

- I never eat a proper home made dinner. Never. I finish work after 6, get to the station 10 minutes early for my train, and end up buying some greasy food because I'm starving and I'm going to be battling with dcs over bedtime the second I get in until gone 8pm. I used to start crying with hunger at 8.15 - telling myself every day oh yes, today is the day I'll stand in the kitchen and chop an onion at the fag end of 13 hours up and doing, and then just falling apart - but no. It's a pasty. It's probably killing me - literally - I have cholesterol issues - but I'm just done with crying with hunger and fatigue.

- Every morning I dd2 and I have an argument about socks. It nearly makes us late every day. No matter what time I get up we never have enough time for the amount of time she needs for sock drama.

- I get up at least 20 minutes before everyone else but usually look like shit anyway.

- my bedclothes haven't been changed in - I'm not telling you.

This is basically the reason why ex-P and I are separating. He resents me for not doing enough and I resent him for watching me struggle, completely burnt out, thinking I should do more, and not knowing where it's supposed to come from.

(on the dinner, by the way - those nights I don't ever get any, that is, every night, he's been in the house since 5.45 and will have eaten. When I was on mat leave with a newborn he came home to dinner ready every night)

OohMavis Sat 28-May-16 10:25:02

I don't shower in the morning, I shower in the evening. Get the kids to bed, hop in shower, hair dries whilst I watch TV/tidy up before watching TV. Then in the morning all I do is brush my teeth, sort my hair and freshen up. There's no law that says you must shower in the morning, you're no more dirty after sleeping in clean pajamas/bedsheets than if you were to shower after sleeping imo.

Tatiana11235 Sat 28-May-16 10:27:14

No just sheer laziness probably wink

I get all clothes ready the night before, shower and wash hair before bed rather than in the morning because I'd rather sleep for extra 20 mins, minimal make up. I work full-time so have to be out of the house by 7.40am to take DD5 to school.
I clean and tidy as I go rather than letting it pile up.
I cook easy stuff like spag bol/chilli/enchiladas/meat and potatoes ect during the week, someting that only takes 30 mins to prepare.

GraceGrape Sat 28-May-16 10:27:56

I think it's tiredness. How well does your ds sleep? I work part-time but as a teacher so have work to do every evening so I never get to bed early. DD2 (3) has always been a dreadful sleeper and often wakes early. I never feel I have energy to do anything. Schoolwork and feeding/clothing the kids is essential but housework and ironing is let slide.

rainbowstardrops Sat 28-May-16 10:28:36

It's a struggle here too but no excuse for me really as my youngest is 11 and I only work part-time.

I think I live with three of the messiest people on this planet and I just get bored being the only one to do the lion's share of housework.

I do look on in awe at the mum's who glide along with their children and are always posting on FB about what they've done and where they've been.

Then again, maybe they don't spend way too much time on MN and Candy Crush wink

amysmummy12345 Sat 28-May-16 10:32:16

This sounds like my life and I'm due dd2 in 12 days waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

liz70 Sat 28-May-16 10:33:16

Well, I must have done it when our teenaged DDs 1 and 2, who are less than 2 years apart in age were younger, but I don't remember how!

I don't bother with makeup so that wasn't an issue, drying hair - I just use 2 in 1 for quickness and turban dry then put in pony tail. Clothes for myself and DDs all laid out the night before, also breakfast stuff all set up in kitchen - cereal in bowl, covered, mug with milk, teabag and sugar for myself, also covered, with glasses and cutlery alongside, ready for the morning. I still do this now for DD3, who's 6 now.

Shopping I do online for convenience. The house cleaning was/still is done as and when necessary, prioritizing the bathroom as I think that's important. Our house is by no means pristine, though - that's impossible with children. including two slobbish teenagers now

Don't beat yourself up. After you die, nobody will be remembering fondly how tidy your house was. grin

peoplepleaser70 Sat 28-May-16 10:34:38

I shower at night. Get up earlier than everyone else to sort myself out first. My 2 D.C. are older now but it's still a struggle sometimes. We are always late for school no matter what! One top tip that my DP hates is breakfast in bed. It means that all the mess is contained in one room, it's my coping mechanism I'm afraid as mess stresses me out although I'm sure it will be frowned upon! It's only the 2 mornings that I do the school run. For tea frozen prepped veg is a lazy godsend.

Idliketobeabutterfly Sat 28-May-16 10:35:37

Nope, not just you and after talking to a few mums at my DS' nursery I think it is a common struggle.

wobblywonderwoman Sat 28-May-16 10:37:40


He says he wouldn't judge but he totally judges. He doesn't agree with the TV on for do lots of stuff.

he says silent but his mother bakes, big into the church. Never takes a shortcut. she has no life though

BrandNewAndImproved Sat 28-May-16 10:40:45

I have a bath and do my hair the day before. I straighten my hair slobbed out on the sofa but it's only been this year I've started doing it and not shoving it up in a messy bun.

I feel a lot more put together when my hairs done. Dc have evening baths as well. My friend does morning baths for her and dc in the morning and they're always running late. I leave the house at quarter to 8 with two dc and I can't be late.

I get an hour at home before the school run on thr afternoon and then that's when I tidy up and sort out tea. Getting up early even on weekends helps as well. I weirdly love getting up and pottering around before dc wake up now I've got into the habit whereas a few years ago I'd waste all my weekend mornings sleeping.

Icecappedpinetrees Sat 28-May-16 10:42:21

Everyone fed, no one dead

This has been running through my head since my second was born 18 days ago. Aim for the stars, right?!

MrsSpecter Sat 28-May-16 10:43:25

but how do people get showered, dry their hair, make up, sort hair out, feed toddler, dress toddler, convince toddler to put shoes on etc all before 9am?

I wish i knew. I have never managed it. I suck at life. I always wonder what the trick is for those who find the basics a non-issue.

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