to not get hot shorts for a 12 year old

[pilpiloni]

I'm clothes shopping with my 12 year old. She picks up a pair of hot shorts and wants them but I refuse. In the end we agreed on slightly longer shorts.

I feel conflicted though I want her to feel free to wear what she wants as any woman is entitled to. But I also feel, now she is becoming a woman, I don't want her dressed in a sexualised way - men look, it's not nice, that's reality. But then again, I'm glad she's innocent and unaware of that (she just wants to look cool)

What do you think mm jury? Aibu to refuse the hotshorts?

[BillSykesDog]

Never heard of them, but from googling them...they're just shorts really aren't they? I don't think I would mind. Kids wear shorts, just seems odd to suddenly when girls hit puberty to say they have to cover up.

[BillSykesDog]

Oh, I've just had another look. Are these the ones that are basically pants as outerwear? I see what you mean.

[Dottydressisnice]

Yanbu

I wouldn't buy them for my DD either. Then, I wouldn't wear them myself either!

[MerrilySlidingAway]

Yanbu.

Arsecheeks hanging out is never a good look.

[KoalaDownUnder]

YANBU. They look like knickers.

I hate the current fashion for girls around that age. High-waisted mega-short (like, bumcheek-revealing) denim shorts, with a thin, skin-tight crop-top.

Talk about nothing left to the imagination.

[MerrilySlidingAway]

Back in the days when dd would wear shorts she opted for this sort of length. Still short but covers all areas !!

[pilpiloni]

Ooh I just googled - not as extreme as those photos! They were just super short denim shorts, barely would cover bum cheeks.

I agree with both those saying they would and they wouldn't. She shouldn't have to cover up but at the same time I don't want her wearing overt sexualised clothes

[MerrilySlidingAway]

Tell her your saving her from fashion disaster. My dd is fairly modest but would wear the above ones with loose, layered vests.

She'd rather poke herself in the eye than wear shorts now tho

[KiteCutter]

My DD is 11 and loves shorts but always wears them with leggings underneath. Is that an option?

[RaskolnikovsGarret]

It is very hard to get non short shorts these days. DD1 and 2 (15 and 13) wear quite short shorts, but that seems to be all that is available in the shops. As they have long legs () the shorts look even shorter. They do look good, but the over sexualised look does give me pause for thought sometimes. Can never see their bum cheeks though!

[pearlylum]

I don't see the issue.
My DD has been wearing them from 8 or so. She is 16 and still wears them. Why not?
Should we be dressing our daughters in long skirts and thick tights?

[PPie10]

Yanbu, her butt cheeks should not be hanging out regardless of her age.

[PamBagnallsGotACollage]

I would avoid them. The problem for me is shorts that short are only ever made for girls. So many clothes are designed to sexualise young girls.

You don't have to be covered toe to chin to look nice, equally you don't have to buy in to the sexualisation of young girls which is another way girls are made to feel unequal, self conscious, and as though their self worth is tied up in how they look.

[pearlylum]

Pam- or you could just stop attributing sexual characteristics to girls in shorts. You are part of the “she was asking for it” mindset.

[KoalaDownUnder]

pearlymum, get real.

There is a huge difference between 'I rhink it sexualises young girls' and 'she was asking for it'.

You can let your daughter wander the streets in a bikini and I would still defend her right not to be harassed. Doesn't mean it doesn't look tacky.

[Statelychangers]

DD wears short shorts. No bum cheeks hanging out. Usually a loose top, she v skinny...body of a child and not wearing them in a sexual way - she has no interest in looking sexy, more a cool way - with Dr Martins or Converse.

[curren]

My 11 year old wear ones like the photo of the denim shorts. We have just returned from holiday and she wore them most days. So did I.

I absolutely hate this 'it's short so it's sexualising children' attitude.

The problem for me is shorts that short are only ever made for girls.

and this is bollocks too. I got my shorts for my holiday in the womens section of Mataram. Where they went up to a size 22. I am 34 and a size 12.

[GirlOutNumbered]

Some of our 6th form girls wear these, we have said that it's fine with tights.
Although personally they don't really look like they are coming in ready to learn. I'd rather we said your bum really should be covered.

[Stillwishihadabs]

Oh leave them alone, I wore them in the 80's and 90's (daisy duke anyone ?) my mother wore skirts short enough to need matching knickers in the early 60's. If older men are sexulising young girls that is entirely their problem.

[CodyKing]

The problem for me is shorts that short are only ever made for girls.

I think she means as opposed to boys - rather than older females

She has a point - boys don't have their bums out or cropped tops - cool baggy tshirts and longer knee length shorts are more the boy fashion -

[marmiteloversunite]

I think there is a difference between shorts and "hot shorts". They are basically like a pair of knickers made out of denim. At twelve your DD will want to look cool but will probably also be doing mores childish activities, running etc that the shirts aren't suitable for. I wouldn't buy them for my DDs.