DP has a son just shy of 7. He is with us 3 days a week. I have two girls aged 9 & 12. Both my children are expected to complete age appropriate tasks (sorting washing, clearing plates etc). I don't think this is too much to expect of SS either. As it stands he won't do a thing. Doesn't make his bed or help. He literally just plays on his X box the whole time he is with us. I discussed this with DP and we agreed that when he arrived today, before heading for his X box he would have to join us all in sorting washing (we have all been on holidays separately so there is a lot this week). He grabbed a couple of his own things and started for upstairs. I said hang on mate, we need to sort it all out and then take it to our own rooms. He came back in the room and rolled his eyes and pulled a face. I said to him "you can roll your eyes and pull your face as much as you want but until the job is done there is no X box". Nothing different than I would have said to my girls. DP immediately jumps to his defence and says he didn't do it. I said he did. SS then pounces on the opportunity to get out of helping by crying. DP was furious that I had told him off and made him cry. DP then proceeds to take SS away and comfort him. My girls then go on strike and say if SS doesn't have to help ever why should we. A fair point. However I said to carry on and if it was finished before SS returned to help, his punishment would be no X box for the rest of today. I explained this to both DP & SS. DP then takes SS side and says to me that I handled it badly as he is upset. All this in front of the children. I feel like he completely undermined me in front of kids and made it clear to SS that a few tears will get him out of any job. TBH I am far more courteous and patient with SS than my own Dds as I feel like I am walking on egg shells with SS. God forbid he should have to do anything for himself or the family. We Had agreed beforehand between us that the kids would do this job tonight. AIBU to feel so undermined. I feel like all the work I have put into having a relationship and establishing boundaries and balance with SS has been undone in one fell swoop. If DP didn't agree with me it should have been done in private surely? I'm also 7 months pregnant and bouncing between being extremely upset to extremely angry.
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