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To lock OH out of the house?

(67 Posts)
Misswrite89 Wed 30-Mar-16 19:55:22

I'm furious. I was upstairs and had just bathed our 6 month old. He was in his pajamas on our bed and I asked OH to watch him so I could walk the few steps across the landing to hang the towel on the back of the bathroom door. OH says fine and stands by the bed. I walk across the landing and hang the towel up. I then turn around to see LO hanging half off the bed. He has recently started rolling and was about to fall off. I yelled and OH managed to grab him before he fell but he started to cry from the commotion.

OH didn't notice that LO was rolling because he was engrossed in texting his friends on this bloody group whatsapp that they have. I'm livid because when I asked him to watch LO on the bed, I said how much he was rolling but still he didn't even notice. I keep thinking about what could have happened if I hadn't turned around at that exact second.

To make it worse, OH tried to comfort LO but I took him because he was crying and my maternal instincts went into overdrive - I was the only one that was going to comfort him not the idiot that almost let him fall from the bed. He then raised his voice at me because I said "give me my son" and he said very loudly (borderline aggressively) that he was his son too. I then went to walk away and he proceeded to hold me quite firmly by the upper arm until I pulled my arm away

He is usually a fantastic dad, I imagine he is feeling very guilty about what happened. He came downstairs shortly afterwards giving LO lots of kisses and cuddles and has now gone out with his friends.

I am furious. Would it be unreasonable to lock him out of the house (by putting my keys in the lock so he can't get in). I haven't even had an apology. I am literally livid.

acasualobserver Wed 30-Mar-16 19:57:56

Would it be unreasonable to lock him out of the house (by putting my keys in the lock so he can't get in)

Yes, you know it would.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Wed 30-Mar-16 19:58:08

You are over reacting massively.

PennyHasNoSurname Wed 30-Mar-16 19:58:22

Ok first off you need to calm down. Babies roll off beds. It is shit when it happens and of course every effort should be made to ensure it doesnt happen. Your DH slipped up.

Your reaction was beyond awful. He isnt just your son. You completely and utterly overreacted and if I were your dh I would be devastated at the way you spoke to me.

I really think you need to applogose for your reaction.

dementedpixie Wed 30-Mar-16 19:59:04

Yes you would

GabiSolis Wed 30-Mar-16 19:59:23

Well none of it is great really, is it? He made a mistake but you escalated it beyond what was necessary. You probably know you can't actually lock him out. I understand why you're upset but this has been blown up into something it doesn't need to be.

Scarydinosaurs Wed 30-Mar-16 20:01:03

Babies roll off beds all the time. Unless he is a complete dick and this is just the last straw, you would be completely unreasonable to lock him out.

Misswrite89 Wed 30-Mar-16 20:01:29

Oh my goodness, I honestly thought I was going to come onto this thread and see lots of LTB and yes, lock him out and put his bags at the door! Didn't think for a second that I had overreacted - thank you everyone! I think I needed this outside perspective!

mrsnoon Wed 30-Mar-16 20:02:51

Yes totally. My ExH used to do this, it's abusive.

wigglebum84 Wed 30-Mar-16 20:02:53

Wow, massive overreaction.

redskytonight Wed 30-Mar-16 20:03:07

Your DS is fine and your DH reacted to your overreacting.

There will be other occasions (maybe even when L are watching DS) when he crawls or runs off and you're not expecting it. It happens. DH was not deliberately malicious. You locking him out would be.

Marzipants Wed 30-Mar-16 20:03:29

YABU. You need to stop being "livid" too. Kids roll, it catches parents out all the time. Calling DS "my son" was deliberate and cruel. Not sure why you had to leave DS on the bed if you knew he was rolling, other than passive aggressive way to stop DH Whatsapping. (Not judging, I've done similar when feeling crappy. But it helps no-one.)

GabiSolis Wed 30-Mar-16 20:04:16

OP, it's really good you've come back and realised that. We all have moments where we lose a little bit of perspective, it's understandable.

If it helps, I trod on my DS at a similar age and he's absolutely fine. grin

Buckinbronco Wed 30-Mar-16 20:05:00

You are massively over reacting, and you'd be making a complete idiot of yourself to lock him out.

Babies make relationships stressful, but honestly, chill out. No big deal

miraclebabyplease Wed 30-Mar-16 20:05:08

I hope you never make mistakes with your son. Your oh will have learnt from it. It is how we become good parents.

Singsongsungagain Wed 30-Mar-16 20:05:52

Oh my word! Babies do not roll off beds "all the time". I have two children and neither have ever rolled off a bed! They have been supervised or put on the floor instead. Your husband was a complete numpty who needs to prioritise his child over his mobile phone. YANBU to be thoroughly pissed off with him.

redskytonight Wed 30-Mar-16 20:05:55

Your DS is fine. DH realises he made a mistake and tried to make it up to your son. The rest is him reacting to your overreacting.

There will come a moment in the future when you are not fully concentrating on DS and he will roll/crawl/run/fall and hurt himself. It doesn't make you the world's worst parent.

lalalalyra Wed 30-Mar-16 20:06:15

He was a bit daft not paying attention when the rolling is new, but rolling babies catch people out all the time. Calling your DS "my son" to his father was nasty, so you both fucked up IMO.

Jojoriley Wed 30-Mar-16 20:06:45

Blimey you need to take a chill pill - this is actually mad

witsender Wed 30-Mar-16 20:07:34

Both my kids have rolled off the bed under my watch. I consider myself a good parent, and if DH had flipped at me the way that you did I'd have felt devastated and undermined. You need to be boosting and supporting each other.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 30-Mar-16 20:07:45

Huge overrraction.

Are you your oh mother?

Wow. Take a step back. And have a good think about your actions.

dontrunwithscissors Wed 30-Mar-16 20:08:13

Agree that it was an overreaction & I can understand why your DH would be upset by the 'give me my son' comment. These things happen. However, the grabbing of your arm was very wrong and it would be that making me feel mad.

Marzipants Wed 30-Mar-16 20:09:40

Missed your reply OP, good to see you're taking it all on board but prepare yourself for YABU avalanche.

Chin up!

Jollielolly Wed 30-Mar-16 20:10:35

This is a bit OTT. The reason he got angry is because of the way you reacted. You say he's usually a great dad, these things happen. Say your DS had rolled off the bed....what's the worst that could have happened? Imagine if it was the other way round and he caught you out and nearly rolled off the bed. Would your OH have reacted the way you did?

My DD has rolled off the bed twice in the last few weeks blush and she's absolutely fine. They catch you out sometimes but there's no need to overreact.

You'll make things worse by locking him out.

Shadow1986 Wed 30-Mar-16 20:12:33

Seriously calm down! Major over reaction...accidents happen. Yes he should have paid more attention but he obviously didn't realise just how quick little one is now moving. He knows now. Lesson learnt.
Like you say he probably feels bad so why make him feel worse. What's the point of locking him out?

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