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DH thinks I have missed out this Mothers Day he is being unreasonable

(49 Posts)
Oldsu Mon 07-Mar-16 00:33:15

DS normally takes me out on Mothers Day, this year my DS become a Dad himself and of course he wanted to spend the day with my DIL on HER first Mothers Day, I understand this, he popped round this morning with a Mum card and a Granny card from baby grandson and some glass that I collect and then of course went back to his new family.

I told DH that if he was that bothered about me not being taken out he could take me out himself (which he did) but keeps banging on about DS not being with me on 'my special day'.

I have tried to explain that it's the way it should be now DS is a Dad himself but DH has been banging on about it all night.

Its actually spoiled my day

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 07-Mar-16 00:34:20

You rock. That is all.

smellsofelderberries Mon 07-Mar-16 00:37:31

You sound like an AMAZING Mum. Your DH IBU!

whatdoIget Mon 07-Mar-16 00:38:07

Yanbu. Is your Dh missing his son a bit and harking back to how things were in the past? He should shut up about it now though!

PitilessYank Mon 07-Mar-16 00:40:14

I hope I have the same sense of perspective in the future as you do.

Also, what is the big deal about going out? Your son thought about you and made a very nice gesture-that's terrific!

LadyB49 Mon 07-Mar-16 00:41:03

You've got it Wight.
Did you tell dh that it was his grumpiness that spoiled your day, not your ds.

ASAS Mon 07-Mar-16 00:41:11

Mon all the mums of sons!

And congratulations granny

TheDowagerCuntess Mon 07-Mar-16 00:42:22

You sound lovely, and so does your son.

That is all. grin

flowers

mogloveseggs Mon 07-Mar-16 00:47:09

Yanbu at all! How lovely you are smile Congratulations on your grandchild flowers

BackInTheRealWorld Mon 07-Mar-16 00:47:39

I really hope your dil appreciates the fact she has a sane sensible mil - god imagine if your husband was the one with the vagina!?

Oldsu Mon 07-Mar-16 00:49:05

DH is an unreasonable grumpy old coot and I told him so. Besides I am getting baby grandson for the day on Wednesday that's better then any Mothers day pressie.

TheUnexpectedMorrisDancer Mon 07-Mar-16 00:50:10

Both you and your DS sound wonderful!

On my first Mothers Day, when DP told his mother he was spending the day with me and our DD, she had a major hissy fit and DP's sister told him to get his priorities straight and that his mother should always come first!

AnnieOnnieMouse Mon 07-Mar-16 00:58:45

Tell your DH you are happy to wait for Grandmothers day - ok, it's a tacky USA invention, but it might shut him up!
Congrats - so wonderful your ds was able to pop round at all.
Wait until it's Father's day, and repay his attitude!

blueemerald Mon 07-Mar-16 00:58:55

I think your DH misses your son. He hasn't expressed it in a healthy way at all so I'm not suggesting pandering but understanding. Especially if DS (who sounds great btw) is your eldest/only child.

SilverBirchWithout Mon 07-Mar-16 01:07:51

I think there is a definite need for an official hierarchy of whose Mothers Day is the priority. grin

Certainly with a new baby and children the youngest mother needs to take priority. When children grow up the priority should revert to the older mother because they may not be around for much longer.

Toxic mothers are of course exempt from the second rule.

Sounds to me your DS got the day right. Lovely DM, Lovely DS....shame about DH

I guess DH has just realised his role has now changed and is projecting that pain on you.

Redglitter Mon 07-Mar-16 01:15:11

Your husband is being very unfair. Sounds like your son got it right.

My brother has his own children now so he sees my mum the day before Mothers Day with the grandchildren, then the 2 of them will go out for lunch next week. Mothers Day is spent letting his girls spoil their mum.

EveOnline2016 Mon 07-Mar-16 01:17:15

Yabvu. How frustrating it is for your DiL to have such a reasonable mil.

Oldsu Mon 07-Mar-16 01:18:05

DS is our only child and I guess DH thinks that now I am not going to have a special day anymore now that DS has his own family DH was the youngest of 6 so his old mum had a houseful on Mothers day, I think he is sad that I wont have that.

But he is STILL a grumpy old coot, next year it may be different and we will all go out, but GS is not even a month old its such a special time for the new family first Mothers day will be a treasured memory for them

Lovemylittlebears Mon 07-Mar-16 01:37:37

Oh my goodness not even a month old. Well done your son for managing to come out with a nice present and card and not be half asleep at home forgetting that it's Mother's Day. I think you and your son got it right and hopefully in the future you can all celebrate together x

kawliga Mon 07-Mar-16 01:55:00

I think your DH misses your son. He hasn't expressed it in a healthy way at all so I'm not suggesting pandering but understanding. Especially if DS (who sounds great btw) is your eldest/only child.

I agree with this. You sound completely lovely, your ds sounds completely lovely, your little grandson sounds cute, so I'm guessing your DH must be a lovely person too and I would try to understand where he is coming from.

JT05 Mon 07-Mar-16 05:23:32

My DSs both have young families. They see me the day before with cards and flowers. I think it is appropriate that they and their children spoil my DILs on Mothering Sunday.
Both DILs are excellent mothers and in different ways work hard to make their families happy ones.
DH took me to a Rugby match in the afternoon, a great time and our team won!

Ashvis Mon 07-Mar-16 06:32:10

You sound great op, that's exactly the kind of attitude I plan to have if my ds has a child! In our family we nominate a day - yesterday was my mil's Mother's Day, Saturday was mine, and my mum's will be the next time she visits us. That way everybody gets a special day and nobody misses out. My mil is going to be doing some more babysitting for us in a few weeks time while dh and I attend a course so I'd have been happy not having a Mother's Day and just celebrate mil cause she rocks, but it's nice to have a treat day even if the date isn't the same as most other people's. If your dh is still hot and bothered about it, would he be happy with a similar arrangement to ours next year?

tiddlyipom Mon 07-Mar-16 06:52:02

You sound fab, so does your DS.flowers
(You have named your grandson in your OP though, you want might to report to MNHQ to get it removed)

Euphemia Mon 07-Mar-16 06:55:18

YANBU.

"Special day"?! What rubbish. There are many, many days that are special without us needing to be told that they have to be special.

Oldsu Mon 07-Mar-16 06:59:16

tiddlyipom its ok about the name I posted on the day I became a Granny and MNHQ complimented me on his name

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