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AIBU unreasonable to think it's not necessary to avoid visiting an 8 month old because you have a sore throat?

(59 Posts)
Mildogproblem Tue 01-Mar-16 11:10:29

We had plans today to see a family member.
They just called to cancel because they have a sore throat and don't want to risk giving it to my DS. They wouldn't hear of coming despite me saying it's ok, it's definitely not just an excuse either.

Aibu to think this is overkill? He's not 8 weeks old, he's 8 months! Of course I won't encourage him to be held/kissed, but surely life has to carry on unless the visitor is very ill flu/stomach bug etc.

How much do you avoid illness with your children?

Whataboutnodetox Tue 01-Mar-16 11:12:27

Have you thought perhaps they are feeling crap and don't want visitors today because of it? I'd not avoid them massively due to a sore throat but if I had a sore throat I usually feel quite rubbish so avoid small loud people. Especially my own grin

FaceTheFace Tue 01-Mar-16 11:13:10

Your relative sounds very thoughtful. I wish people wouldn't visit me when they are ill.

Mildogproblem Tue 01-Mar-16 11:13:14

Should hVe added, not because they feel crap, purely to avoid risk of giving to my lo.

ZiggyFartdust Tue 01-Mar-16 11:15:31

Maybe they just don't want to see you.

eaudeparfumpooie Tue 01-Mar-16 11:17:17

I totally avoid anyone ill if possible, why pass infection on?

I have been on chemo in the past and a surpassed immune system is no laughing matter.,and learnt that anyone who is careless with passing infections is just selfish.

I applied your sensible family member, if everyone took responsibility for not spreading their infections we would all be better off.

They probably feel shit,leave them alone apart from sending soup and flowers.

Mildogproblem Tue 01-Mar-16 11:17:36

Thanks for your input Ziggy.
No, that's not the case. Much anticipated visit on their part.

eaudeparfumpooie Tue 01-Mar-16 11:18:20


Notso Tue 01-Mar-16 11:22:21

How can you be so certain it's not an excuse or that they don't feel crap?

ZiggyFartdust Tue 01-Mar-16 11:23:57

If they really wanted to see you, and you told them a sore throat was not a problem, the visit would be on. They have decided it is not. You wouldn't have started this thread if you didn't know there is obviously more to it!

Mildogproblem Tue 01-Mar-16 11:24:58

Notso, because I am extremely close to this person and know they would say.

I didn't come here for alternative suggestions As to why the person cancelled.

I wanted to know if people think avoiding any and all bugs is nevcesary for an 8 month old.

ImperialBlether Tue 01-Mar-16 11:25:47

Sore throats are infectious, though. I wouldn't want someone visiting my baby if they had a sore throat.

zoobaby Tue 01-Mar-16 11:26:25

I'm always of the opinion that it might be mild for me, but what if it turned out to be something really bad for the child. I guess I'm trying to minimise any potential future guilt.

I always leave it up to the parents to decide though.

Mildogproblem Tue 01-Mar-16 11:27:55

Zoobaby, I absolutely would ask other parents in the same situation.
I also hugely appreciate that they felt the need to warn me. But I think they are over kill on INSISTING not to risk. They do have form for worrying about absolutely everything.

Duckdeamon Tue 01-Mar-16 11:28:14

Do they have anxiety issues?

Mildogproblem Tue 01-Mar-16 11:29:25

Duckdeamon, yes I would say so. Nothing diagnosed. We both have some anxiety issues. I have fought hard not to wrap baby in cotton wool and sometimes need advising about these sorts of things!

Only1scoop Tue 01-Mar-16 11:30:11

I think they are thoughtful.

Shame not more people like them in the world

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Tue 01-Mar-16 11:30:59

Sore throats can be a first sign of something worse so perhaps that's what they are worried about. Perhaps say you want to see them as you've missed them and were looking forward to it. That seems to be the truth smile

MidniteScribbler Tue 01-Mar-16 11:32:01

If the visit was genuinely wanted and looked forward to, and they have cancelled because of illness, do you think that maybe, just perhaps, and I know this is a real stretch, but could they actually feel too sick for visitors? I know it is unbelievable to think that there is no second guessing over it, but sometimes, people just get sick?

littlejolee Tue 01-Mar-16 11:32:04

I don't think it's unreasonable. Pretty much everyone I know has either avoided or minimised contact with DS if they are ill, because they don't want him to catch it. Meet ups and visits have been cancelled (and sometimes replaced with facetime or Skype, not quite the same obv but better than nothing). I think it's quite thoughtful on their part tbh and would probably do the same myself

Dexterjamesmummy Tue 01-Mar-16 11:32:33

My 10 month old has just had tonsillitis, I'd appreciate people cancelling if they knew they weren't 100%.

Catphrase Tue 01-Mar-16 11:32:34

I once hospitalised a baby by visiting with a cold.
I'm hugely paranoid now funnily enough.
I realise it's inconvenient, and makes me flakey. But I'd sooner not be responsible again So even when a parent says it's ok, sometimes I still won't risk it

ProfYaffle Tue 01-Mar-16 11:33:02

I opened this thread half wondering if it was about me! I cancelled on some friends yesterday as I have a horrific sore throat and didn't want to pass it on to their baby (who's older than yours btw)

I feel quite well in myself but my throat/chest is horribly painful. Dealing with a small child in this kind of pain would be miserable for both mother and child so I didn't want to risk passing it on. Friends were understanding and Mum of baby passed on thanks for me being thoughtful.

I'm a bit surprised to discover someone would take offence at this course of action tbh.

Mildogproblem Tue 01-Mar-16 11:33:43

Midnitescribbler, as I added above its definitely NOT because they feel too ill.

Mildogproblem Tue 01-Mar-16 11:34:44

And I really haven't taken offence in any way, I'm simply wanting to know if others think it's neccesary to avoid.

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