To think my friend's DP is financially screwing her with their holiday?

[AyeAmarok]

Not my business, I know... But she told me and I'm

My friend is a primary teacher, and her BF/DP and her are planning their (first, as a couple) holiday in the summer. As she's a teacher she can only go during school holidays.

Her BF has a more normal job with shifts, fewer weeks of holiday but obviously can be a lot more flexible than her about when he can take them.

Because they want to go on holiday together, they have to go when she is off and it will cost more. So between them they have rationalised that it's fair if she pays the difference between what it would have cost him to go in term time to the same place.

I didn't ask the cost difference as I was struggling to formulate words.

She seems to think it's fair enough, as he'll be a lot more out of pocket because of her. I think WTAF. I doubt it's a difference of 50 quid, probably hundreds (they're going abroad)? She seems to really like him

HIBU, isn't he?

I can't be alone in thinking that this is a VERY unattractive trait? Or is this fair and I'm being harsh?

[ImperialBlether]

He sounds horrible! She should tell him to sod off.

[honeysucklejasmine]

Oh gosh. Yeah, that doesn't sound right.

[sphinxster]

Crikey! What a selfish tight arse.

[RudeElf]

Ugh! She needs to run. This is only the start.tell her to get out now.

[Ginkypig]

He sounds horrible

[vEGANvERA]

Fuck that. He needs to go when he wants. Arse! Your friend should run!

[Ginkypig]

My dp can only go on term holiday time but we still split equally, normally one pays hotel other pays travel or something like that.

I would never dream of asking him to pay more, why would you if your in an equal relationship you share things equally.

I could prob get a super cheap deal at other times of year but then I'd have to go alone so it would defeat the purpose!

[ImperialBlether]

I think if he earns a very low salary and she obviously earns more, and if he just couldn't afford a holiday in school holidays, then I could see why she would say, "Look, I'll pay for X, Y and Z on the holiday if you can book in school holiday time."

If he earns the same as her, though, then no, he should tell her not to be daft and to pay the same.

[AyeAmarok]

I have literally never heard of ANYONE doing this. I cannot get my head around it. But I am aware that with money I am not the sort who keeps count between friends IYKWIM. So this is just so bizarre that someone would do this in a relationship.

So it's not normal then.

Shit.

[Katenka]

It's not normal.

However in some circumstances I could understand.

For example he is a low earner and can't afford a term time holiday and she is really pushing for them to go abroad.

Ok just the one circumstance

[ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs]

HIBVU.

He sounds like a complete knob.

[icanteven]

This is a man who will make her pay "her" share of the mortgage and bills during maternity leave.

[PegsPigs]

My DH is a teacher/coach so can only take holidays in school holiday time. Not once has it occurred to me to charge him a "school holiday supplement" for the career choice he has made!

[JeanSeberg]

What's he like in general?

[HermioneJeanGranger]

Can he afford to pay school holiday prices? They are extortionately expensive.

[AyeAmarok]

I don't think there is too much difference between their salaries. She's a teacher and think she's on about 30k or so. He has a skilled manual job, has an element of danger (makes it sound more exciting than it is!) so it pays well enough, above average at least, plus he does a fair bit of overtime.

They don't live together yet officially, but spend pretty much every night together. No DC.

Still not okay though, is it. It feels tight of him. Worse than tight, mean? Exploitative almost. She doesn't seem to think so. Gah.

[LIZS]

Isn't it between them? It would be cheaper if they went at a half term. Having said that it does set an uneasy precedent.

[YaySirNaySir]

Mr.Mean rather than Mr.Right.

[whois]

He's a dick. They should do something cheaper to suit budgets rather than her paying the term/holiday price differential.

[expatinscotland]

Gawd, what a tight mother fucker. She's fucking deluded. Show her this thread.

[LeanneBattersby]

I guess if the scenario is: "I'm sorry I just can't afford those prices so I won't be able to afford to go on holiday with you." "That's ok, I'll give you the extra so you can come." Then that's fine.

But if the scenario is: "I'm not paying that! You should pay the difference for me because it's your 'fault' you're a teacher". Then that's not ok and I'd be finishing the relationship.

[DustOffYourHighestHopes]

Yikes, wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

[RudeElf]

This is a man who will make her pay "her" share of the mortgage and bills during maternity leave.

Yep.

[ImperialBlether]

In that case, if their salaries are equal, then he's being very tight. She must be really loved up not to see that.

[ovenchips]

if he does not earn very much and he can't afford a holiday at peak season prices ie when she is on leave, then I can see why your friend would chip in more. But that is for reasons of income.

If it's to somehow penalise your friend for only being allowed to take leave at peak times, then I wouldn't want to offer a penny more than a 50/50 split. And I would think very, very badly of boyfriend for even suggesting it.