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AIBU?

Re the heating?

119 replies

MrsPear · 19/01/2016 16:28

So husband can't work the heating - he is being a lazy arse. Has just complained it is cold in here - set to 18 on constantly. I said well put some clothes on - he is wearing shorts and a t shirt. He said you don't wear jumpers in the house; after all what do you wear when your out? A coat was my answer. Am I unreasonable to set the thermostat in account of jumpers?! Btw I left work to become a sahm after ds1 due to him having health problems and he is suppose to be working to support is but he he currently is not just gambling so I am not feeling charitable

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MaidOfStars · 19/01/2016 16:37

When he brings enough money home to pay the heating bill, he can turn it up a notch.

You have a bigger problem than him just being cold though.

HermioneJeanGranger · 19/01/2016 16:42

Nope, we do the same.

If you're cold, wear socks and a jumper. If you're STILL cold, then we can talk about turning the heating up. It's winter, you can't expect to be warm in a t-shirt

TheCatsMeow · 19/01/2016 16:54

YABU id hate to have a freezing house I had to wear jumpers in just to feel normal

HermioneJeanGranger · 19/01/2016 17:13

Most people can't afford to heat the house to t-shirt temperature, though.

pigsDOfly · 19/01/2016 17:15

I would find the house very cold if the thermostat was set at 18 as my heating wouldn't even come on at that temperature. However, I wouldn't be sitting around in shorts and a t-shirt.

Mine was on 25 yesterday evening - new house, boiler is 9 months old. I was wearing a thermal vest - sounds nasty but it's pretty and lacy - a short sleeved light top, a thin jumper with a thicker jumper on top, oh and jeans and socks, and I was still a bit chilly.

During the day my thermostat is set at 21.5 at this time of the year, it comes on in the morning and I have it on that setting until the evening when I turn it up to around 25 degrees.

It's winter, how can he expect to be warm dressed in summer clothes. Agree with pp, until he's the one paying the heating bills, he needs to suck it up and put on a few sensible clothes.

TheCatsMeow · 19/01/2016 17:16

Might be skewed by me being someone who's always freezing and so hates the cold. 22 feels "normal" to me.

HermioneJeanGranger · 19/01/2016 17:18

Might be skewed by me being someone who's always freezing and so hates the cold. 22 feels "normal" to me.

I'm the same, but I can't afford to put the heating up higher than 20. I'm currently sat under a duvet and a blanket, with a hoody on, and a hot water bottle. I'm warm at the moment, but if I removed a layer, I'd soon be freezing cold!

CasperGutman · 19/01/2016 17:18

TheCatsMeow, wearing jumpers in winter is normal! I wear a jumper at home, in shops, in the office, restaurants, everywhere. When I was at uni I wore a jumper in tutorials, classes, lectures, when I was at school I wore a jumper in classrooms.

I don't wear jumpers because places I go to are "freezing". I wear them because places are heated to a sensible level and I'm normal!

ghostyslovesheep · 19/01/2016 17:18

no Cats I have it at 22 as well :)

ilovesooty · 19/01/2016 17:19

What's happening to address the gambling?

TheCatsMeow · 19/01/2016 17:19

Hermione that's annoying I only wear a dress and light cardi at home because I don't like feeling swamped but I do have about 4 blankets on my bed at night!

I'm lucky we live in an extended family home so bills aren't much of an issue

IHaveBrilloHair · 19/01/2016 17:21

I have mine at 22 but don't wear just shorts and tshirt, that would be unreasonable.

TheCatsMeow · 19/01/2016 17:22

ghost it's cold below that isn't it!

Casper wearing jumpers outside is normal and maybe light jumpers inside but I wouldn't expect to feel cold without one in my own home

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 19/01/2016 17:22

We fight over the heating constantly - I like my house Siberian cold. DH is a jumper refusenik. It is mostly war.

PrimeDirective · 19/01/2016 17:32

When he brings enough money home to pay the heating bill, he can turn it up a notch.
Whilst it's clear that he should be working, I think that's a dreadful thing to say. If there's only 1 person earning an income, they don't get to dictate the temperature that the heating is set on.
18 would be too cold for me, even with a jumper, but I do expect to wear warm clothes inside at this time of year.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/01/2016 17:35

Is the gambling not a bigger problem than the heating?

Also, there only needs to be 1x sahp, I guess either of you could be looking for a job now, ie I'm not sure from your post if it has to be him.

SpecialStains · 19/01/2016 17:36

Nope, you have to have a jumper and socks on in this house before the heating goes on. To put the heating on full whack and wander round in shorts and T-shirt is really unenvironmentally friendly.

harshbuttrue1980 · 19/01/2016 17:48

I agree with Prime Detective. Imagine the fuss on here if the man has said to the woman that because she wasn't working, she couldn't have a say over the temperature of the home! If you are both at home, surely you should both be looking for a job - whoever finds one first takes the job, the other gets to be a sahp. Then you wouldn't be as worried about the cost of the heating. About the temperature itself, you need to compromise. Personally, I have my living room heated up nice and toasty, but I only put the heating on in the bedroom shortly before bed. Maybe have one room a bit warmer than the others?

universallyhated · 19/01/2016 17:49

I only wear a t-shirt (and trousers!) in winter, I hate to be stifled by too many clothes, I'll be cold rather than put a jumper on - I'm frozen at the moment but I'd rather be cold than have too many clothes on.

MaidOfStars · 19/01/2016 17:52

It was intended as a flippant response to a man who, instead of looking for work, is spending his days gambling.

I'm not advocating it as a general principle, sorry if that was what came across!

LobsterQuadrille · 19/01/2016 17:58

I grew up in a freezing cold Victorian house and really don't like central heating so we (DD and I) have it on for half an hour in the morning and the same in the evening ..... and yes, jumpers, blankets and thick socks (and a fluffy cat) keep us warm. I can never understand people who have the heating on at night - that would drive me mad.

It's definitely not unreasonable to expect household members to wear jumpers when it's cold, but the gambling sounds like another issue to address.

TheCatsMeow · 19/01/2016 18:00

Bloody hell some of you are strict over the heating

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Slummamumma · 19/01/2016 18:01

Nope YANBU - I mainly work from home and really feel the cold and have Raynaud's. Today was wearing long sleeved thermal vest, long sleeved t-shirt, woolly polo neck oh and knee length uggs. hot drinks help with the hands. no way I can afford to have the heating on or light the fire before 4pm (when DS back from school)

Merguez · 19/01/2016 18:01

YANBU. It's January FFS, of course he should wear long trousers and a jumper inside the house.

Apart from ramping up your energy bills unnecessarily, it's extremely thoughtless to be so extravagant with the heating when the world is facing extreme climate change.

Alwayslatetotheparty · 19/01/2016 18:02

Isn't it all about the gambling? Never mind the heating or anything else. Wouldn't you like to talk about that on here? Maybe someone will have some practical advice on how to persuade him to seek help.
Good luck and love to you, I hope you can handle this, I hope you can trust a relative or friend with your confidence, all my best wishes to you and your children

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