New here, lurked for ages. No DC, no DP (any more, after my most recent drunken outburst).
I've become aware that I will do anything and everything to try and ruin my life and I don't even do it consciously. Lately it's drink related but it hasn't always been; I just seem incapable of making sensible decisions.
I recently had a work night out and completely embarrassed myself (argument with a loved colleagues wife) and then proceeded to go back to the hotel room and kick aforementioned exDP out of the hotel room, leaving him to wait until early hours for a train home. I don't remember any of these things happening.
The normal thing to do, in the Christmas break, would have been to take some time to myself and relax and recoup and stop feeling awful. Instead, I've spent it in a vicious cycle of drunk, horrifically anxious hangover, drunk etc etc. Now I'm shitting myself about going back to work and having to face up to my behaviour.
I've posted in AIBU for traffic. I need someone to either shout some sense into me or offer kind words. I've got an appointment booked with a counsellor but it's not until the 11th. Just feel crap.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Why am I so utterly self destructive?
39 replies
furryblanket · 03/01/2016 02:14
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.