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AIBU?

to ask if you'd sit in the back

73 replies

cjt110 · 18/12/2015 13:06

... We are travelling down to the ILs tonight (3 hour journey from say 6pm). DS (16m) will obv be with us. I get this anxiety/fear when we travel long distances if/when he gets upset because I cant get to him to soothe him/give him his bottle or dummy. In the past I have asked DH to pull up as soon as convenient and hopped in the back with DS. I get anxious because somtimes DS has just cried and is unsettable(?) unless I go in the back/retrieve his dummy or bottle.

For the first time we have loaded the tablet with In the Night Garden for him and have a headrest tablet holder thingamy so I am hoping this keeps him occupied.

I am asking because 1. He will hopefully be settled anyway and fall asleep, meaning I will be stuck in the back for most of the journey 2. I often feel queasy in the back of cars 3. DH says that DS just needs to learn when we are in the car, we can't always get to him immediately. This in itself causes me stress and anxiety because although I know we can't always get to him, I don't want him getting very upset.

WWYD? Our journey is mostly motorway/A road style motorways so not always easy to steop, hence DH's comment about not always being able to get to DS easily.

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poocatcherchampion · 18/12/2015 13:08

I'd go in the front. If he doesn't settle it won't matter if you stop to get in the back. If he does settle you won't want to stop to get in the front in case it wakes him up.

mummymeister · 18/12/2015 13:11

you can always stop on a motorway by coming off at a junction and going back on again. stop stressing about it and just sit in the front and if he whinges then just pull over and get in the back with him. sometimes kids do get sensory overload when they are tired so might be an idea to turn off the devices to see if he settles first rather than immediately jumping in the back.

cjt110 · 18/12/2015 13:13

Bleugh - I hate the travelling fear I get. It's horrid. Any suggestions on how I can man up?

Good suggestion about making sure the tablet is turned off. We will be leaving around 6 I would think and as his bedtime is around 7, I'll be turning it off then anyway if he hasnt already fallen asleep.

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planetogg · 18/12/2015 13:14

If it were me I'd just sit in the back. Just seems easier and I don't see the point in stopping and starting to switch seats. I don't have any issues with sitting in the back though tbh, I don't feel stuck there or get sick or anything.

Artandco · 18/12/2015 13:15

Sit in the middle at the back. I get queasy in cars but find the middle seat ok

Although usually I get Dh to sit there and I drive! Win win

cjt110 · 18/12/2015 13:18

Im thinking the easiest might be just to sit in the back, that way I can keep DS company, stop my fretting and also easily turn the tablet off when it's time for bed. Might pack my mp3 player and have some overdue music time for myself!

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MatildaTheCat · 18/12/2015 13:18

If he's had his tea and bath surely he'll be asleep before you get to the end of the road or soon after? I would most definitely sit in the front.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 18/12/2015 13:19

Dh or I always travel in the back on long journeys. Can you drive if you can't sit in the back, and your Dh sits with the baby?

Hufflepuffin · 18/12/2015 13:21

If I were in your shoes I would load up the front of the car with spare dummies and bottles so that I could tend to him from the front. The chances are he will zonk out and sleep the whole way. I'd rather be in the front so I can talk to dh - we have our best chats in the car.

Flingingmelon · 18/12/2015 13:32

Go in the front. If it really kicks off surely no one will die if you stop and jump in the back. We have done this plenty of times and we are all fine

DisappointedOne · 18/12/2015 13:37

We've travelled long distances with DD since she was 6 weeks old. Even now she's 5 if it's the 3 of us I drive and DD goes in the back with DH. Never understood leaving a young baby on their own, especially not with a tablet for company!

cjt110 · 18/12/2015 13:39

I'm hoping he does drop off. I dont want to sit in the back too, as a PP said, I want to be able to sit and natter with DH. ARGH!

I don't drive long distances/motorways so thats not an option for us either. Might just flip a coin and see!

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Chattymummyhere · 18/12/2015 13:41

I would sit in the front but be prepared to pull over if needed. Same will happen if you sit in the back if the back makes you feel sick.

DisappointedOne · 18/12/2015 13:42

Well, you've not many options then! I get travel sick in the back especially with DH's incessant short shifting hence me driving. But then I've driven long distances since I passed my test at 17.

We do still natter while DH is in the back though - unless you're in a limo with a privacy screen why wouldn't you be able to?

AnnaMarlowe · 18/12/2015 13:43

You should do whatever you are most comfortable with of course, but your baby won't come to any harm in the back.

What would you do if you had two children?

We have twins. Obviously going in the back wasn't an option. On long journeys sometimes they'd scream for a loooong time. They seem to have survived with out any ill effects.

cjt110 · 18/12/2015 13:52

unless you're in a limo Why yes of course we are - Didnt you know Megane's some in stretched version

What would you do if you had two children? Christ knows! I'd probably be a nervous wreck lol

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Blacktealeaves · 18/12/2015 13:55

I would go in the front because I feel very sick in the back and generally hate it. Also as you say you will be stuck in the back when baby sleeps and it will be harder to chat naturally to dh.

Dipankrispaneven · 18/12/2015 13:58

Take a travel sickness pill, load up something you want to watch on the tablet or a talking book plus some headphones, sit in the back, relax.

Haahooooo · 18/12/2015 14:04

I would definitely sit in the front! If I sit in the back my DC seem to expect me to entertain them

I have a two hour car journey ahead of me this Sunday, where I'll be seated in the back squeezed in between the DC child seats as there are five of us in total. I'm dreading it and will pretend to be asleep

neverputasockinatoaster · 18/12/2015 14:04

I once had to get one of DH's service crew to sit tin the back of my car with DD when she was 5 months old. We were rallying in Blackpool and I'd given him a lift. DD had screamed for the ENTIRE journey (from Lincoln) on the way down and I just knew she was going to do the same on the way up! (or down and up, depending on the geography!)
He spent the weekend trying to get a lift home with someone else! If I could have done I'd have been in the back with her but he didn't drive so we were stuffed.

Sit in the back OP, take a travel sickness pill, stock up on mints.

cjt110 · 18/12/2015 14:07

Thinking about it, we usually stop approx halfway (if needed) so I can always swap into the front at that point if DS is asleep. Win win!

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agapimou · 18/12/2015 14:12

DD is 13 months old and I have NEVER sat in the front since she was born. I have to sit next to her with an assortment of distractions that work for about 20 seconds then eventually get a boob out and lean over her car seat so she can breastfeed while other drivers peer into our car and laugh.

She is my VERY precious first born and I just cannot handle her crying. I'm a wuss

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Artandco · 18/12/2015 14:12

Anna - does your car not have 3 back seats? Ours are code in age and Dh or I would just sit in the middle

The thing is they rear face when small so you can't see what they are doing to reach around to give dummy/ wipe sick from face.

skankingpiglet · 18/12/2015 14:13

I'd go in the front and have DC's car seat fitted behind the driver so I could twist around and chuck dummies/snacks/toys into the car seat as appropriate. Obviously stock up your footwell as appropriate. If it all descends into screaming hell, pull off the motorway and go in the back. I suffer from travel sickness too and avoid the back seat wherever possible, even for shorter journeys it's just not worth it. At 16mo they aren't tiny anymore and being upset briefly whilst you find somewhere safe to stop won't cause any lasting damage.

cjt110 · 18/12/2015 14:18

I dont mind if he wimpers a bit but it's when he is genuinely crying - I just cant hack not being able to get to him. Am thinking backseat til midway when he'll hopefully be asleep then swap to front seat at halfway pee break.

skankingpiglet DH and I are both childseat trained by the leading car seat manufacturers and if we had only one car seat, we wouldnt against their advice and place him in any other position other than the rear passenger side. It is a good suggestion though.

I dont usually suffer travel sickness, only in the back and at night. Such a disorientating experience! < sickface

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