DS is in Y1, about to turn 6yo. He has been best friends with 'Henry' since reception. I get on well with Henry's mum and the boys have had plenty of 'playdates' (hate that term but it does work!) and get on well. both boys have their boisterous moments but I have never had an issue that worried me when I've had them at mine and Henry's mum has never said there has been a problem at their house either.
a new boy 'Josh' started in September. this boy has an awful lot of issues (no SN as far as I know), there have been many incidents of bad behaviour from Josh, swearing, inappropriate games/gestures and he has exposed himself to classmates.
DS said he doesn't play with Josh because, in his words 'he is naughty and does bad things and I don't like him' but it seems Josh has now befriended Henry so by association DS now plays with Josh because, again DS's words 'I want to play with Henry and Henry plays with Josh so I have to play with Josh'. DS has also told me of a couple of occasions of 'Henry was in trouble because Josh told him to do xxxx and he did'.
DS's behaviour has taken a turn at home, rude, aggressive at times. I queried with his teacher at parents evening and she assured me his behaviour in class hasn't altered and he is very good in class. However today I have been called in because DS said 'fuck' in the lunch room. DS says that he was with Henry and Josh and Henry told him to say it so he did. DS has no idea what the word means, it is not in our household vocab, even when the DC and not in earshot, in fact I cant think of anyone the DC spend time with that use the term so I know he cant have picked it up anywhere else. Teacher was fine about it and said that she knew it was completely out of character for him to say something like that and confirmed that when asked DS didn't know what the word meant.
So to the point:
- do I speak with Henry's mum and explain what happened so she is aware and can speak with Henry about it? not in an accusatory way as I'm fairly sure the origin of the word will be with Josh, but so she can try and nip this behaviour in the bud.
- do I speak to DS's teacher and ask for him to be separated from Josh? I know they are only young but I do not want DS being influenced in this way. DS is very intelligent (that's not just me, he is overachieving on his levels etc) and I don't want him thinking school is for messing about and bad behaviour.
Thoughts please?