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to think what my colleague did was bloody creepy?

(36 Posts)
jcoleville Sat 28-Nov-15 22:24:39

We have an IM system at work and I regularly chat to a guy I work with (we have a couple of mutual friends so find ourselves going out for drinks as a group sometimes).

He's a lovely guy but theres no sexual feelings between us and we both have partners anyway (he also has a 2 year old son). We just chat!

Anyway I find out a colleague was watching our conversations by staring at my computer and decided to "confront" him about confused even though she said she couldn't see what we were saying.

I asked her politely to not look at my screen and then she started sending me huge paragraphs (on IM not to my face) giving me loads of attitude and then apologising.

I only replied with a few one words replies because I was creeped out and I'm no longer at school.

As far as I know they've never hooked up and she's got a boyfriend that I think shes been with for at least a year ... so I genuinely have no idea what her problem is.

Aibu to be creeped out by this behaviour?

MissFitt68 Sat 28-Nov-15 22:26:28

Yabu it's nothing to be 'creeped out' over! Ignore her

ThreeRuddyTubs Sat 28-Nov-15 22:29:07

If you weren't misusing IM there would be nothing for her to look at, really

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-Nov-15 22:29:33

Creeped out by her behaviour?! No not really... She could be overly invested in you and him chatting with you both having partners etc.

What was the attitude?! Telling you not to IM him or something? Just ignore her.

Some people just have problems for the sake of it with no rhyme or reason to them.

jcoleville Sat 28-Nov-15 22:30:06

I'm creeped out by how invested she is in two total strangers and that she obviously stares at my computer.

I'm as nosey as the next person but confused

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-Nov-15 22:30:12

And Three is strictly right about the IM misuse, maybe she's pissed off because she has to cover work for you...

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-Nov-15 22:32:31

jcoleville but I'm thinking maybe this person is one of the office sticklers for work and nothing else like Internet access at work etc... Therefore she rightly or wrongly sees it as her business to check what OP does. OP could maybe speak to her about boundaries but if she is slacking off then only herself to blame.

MissFitt68 Sat 28-Nov-15 22:32:15

Not overly invested. It was one incident!

stopfuckingshoutingatme Sat 28-Nov-15 22:32:56

You do need to go easy on the IM chit chat - professionally it's not a great look

She is BU but so are you for thinking it's cool to IM people all day

Waltermittythesequel Sat 28-Nov-15 22:36:55

She's not doing anything to creep you out!

Maybe she's sick of you taking the piss when you should be working!

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-Nov-15 22:36:58

Think about it this way OP if you talked All day to your colleague then this can be seen as distracting and also is a sign of not doing your own work...

You're doing this but by IM. I wouldn't be so sure as you seem to be that your IT department doesn't monitor your chit chat either.

AgentZigzag Sat 28-Nov-15 22:38:14

What did she say when she confronted him?

What kinds of things was she saying in her IM messages to you about it?

If you want to know what her problem is she must have given at least a hint when she's talked to you and him about it?

LunchpackOfNotreDame Sat 28-Nov-15 22:49:30

If your IM system is like ours it links to your emails and stores all your conversations so if she complains you can evidence all sides.

Where I work you can't misuse it, it's to prevent people getting up off their seats and gossiping for hours so can be kept on your screen as you work and multi task.

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-Nov-15 22:52:30

But lunchpack I've worked in places where it's used as a chat medium. And the bare bones here is that OP has admitted herself she's been chatting and not about work! All those chats add up time wise you know!

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-Nov-15 22:53:01

I meant not "just" about work.

LunchpackOfNotreDame Sat 28-Nov-15 22:54:18

They do but 5-10 mins on IM would realistically be about 20 or so away from your desk if you had it face to face.

Some people I'm sure would rather staff were chained to their desk and never uttered anything remotely unwork related

jcoleville Sat 28-Nov-15 22:54:29

Maybe she's sick of you taking the piss when you should be working!

It's nice that you are all very concerned about my productivity. We are targeted and I regularly go over by around 30% every day.

In fact I got an award 2 weeks ago for recognition of this.

Pretty much every single person uses IM to chat on.

I don't sit at my desk and watch Netflix and chat on IM.

Even if I did this would have no impact on her (her workload would not increase and our manager knows what our individual daily performance is)

AgentZigzag Sat 28-Nov-15 22:56:00

What did she say her problem was when she talked to both of you about it OP?

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-Nov-15 22:59:53

OP we have no idea about your productivity or if you're a slacker....

lunchpack actually there has been well documented info in business news etc that rather than email it's more common and encouraged for health and ways of dealing with colleagues to do it in person and not by email. Eg walk and talk.

jcoleville Sat 28-Nov-15 23:05:31

OP we have no idea about your productivity or if you're a slacker....

We have to hit over 100% a day (roughly around 104%)

Just yesterday I hit my target and still had two hours left on my shift.

I'm actually the only one in my team to do this.

The one day I was under (was because I was feeling ill and our systems kept going down) my manager questioned me about it straight away about it the next morning.

If I slacked off it would be noticed straight away (there is no hiding).

I'm at a loss of why I am having to justify this though? When the thread isn't about this.

Believe me if I crawled under my desk and slept the entire day my colleague would not be impacted by this. Her workload would not increase.

CatMilkMan Sat 28-Nov-15 23:07:12

Yanbu, it's none of her business and some of the replies to this thread are ridiculous.
You IM abuser you! (knowing literally nothing about your work)

CatMilkMan Sat 28-Nov-15 23:09:09

Sort of xpost! Some of my team constantly use our messaging system others constantly check mumsnet like (ahem) goals are still achieved and jobs are done.

jcoleville Sat 28-Nov-15 23:13:09

She is BU but so are you for thinking it's cool to IM people all day

OMG I've just seen this! I laughed so hard!!!!!

Thinking I'm "cool" to IM people all day!? gringringrin

Yeah I'm fucking cool me. I even wear sunglasses whilst I do my IMing.

SuperFlyHigh Sat 28-Nov-15 23:13:27

OP but you are asking us why but not giving us any more info re why she'd be pissed off so of course one reason could be is cos she thinks you are not pulling you weight work wise....

You seem to be reading into it from your OP that maybe she and your colleague had a thing you don't know about and that's why she's pisssed off. Or you're confused as to why she's annoyed.

We can't help you with limited info now can we?!

And as a dragon on the Den would say, I'm out! Tried to help....

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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