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AIBU?

to think what my colleague did was bloody creepy?

35 replies

jcoleville · 28/11/2015 22:24

We have an IM system at work and I regularly chat to a guy I work with (we have a couple of mutual friends so find ourselves going out for drinks as a group sometimes).

He's a lovely guy but theres no sexual feelings between us and we both have partners anyway (he also has a 2 year old son). We just chat!

Anyway I find out a colleague was watching our conversations by staring at my computer and decided to "confront" him about even though she said she couldn't see what we were saying.

I asked her politely to not look at my screen and then she started sending me huge paragraphs (on IM not to my face) giving me loads of attitude and then apologising.

I only replied with a few one words replies because I was creeped out and I'm no longer at school.

As far as I know they've never hooked up and she's got a boyfriend that I think shes been with for at least a year ... so I genuinely have no idea what her problem is.

Aibu to be creeped out by this behaviour?

OP posts:

Report

JumpandScore · 29/11/2015 22:17

I think she knows/suspects you're more than just friends with someone you're messaging all day and you also know that (even if it's hard to admit to yourself) so it's making you defensive

BrandNewAndImproved · 29/11/2015 22:09

Jobsworth sort of woman I would assume or she thinks your both having an affair and is a nosey cow,

BrendaandEddie · 29/11/2015 21:54

what does OP want us to say?

SuperFlyHigh · 29/11/2015 21:50

Brenda didn't you see OP's posts to us where she was employee of the month, year etc... Blah blah BLAH!

BrendaandEddie · 29/11/2015 21:34

why dont you just get on with some WORK

SuperFlyHigh · 29/11/2015 21:30

little and dojo OP never came back to say anything about the messages and confronting by colleague to male colleague etc which does put a different spin on things.

In fact if I know MN OP won't come back at all on this particular thread now. C'est la vie.

DoJo · 29/11/2015 21:14

What form did her 'confronting' him take? And why did she decide to confront him rather than you initially? Was it because she thought that there was something flirtatious about the messages and took it upon her self to police what she thought might be an office affair? Surely you got some idea of what her issue was when she was sending messages to you both, in which case I think that is pertinent to whether it's 'creepy' or not.

littlemermaid80 · 29/11/2015 20:38

What was the gist of her long paragraphs giving you "attitude?"

MrsUnderwood · 29/11/2015 16:40

Some people just enjoy sticking their beaks in and getting involved in other people's business- especially if they think it'll cause drama.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/11/2015 16:33

I meant cool as in 'OK' as opposed to cool trendy !

It's nowt personal op but many people work in a work environment where it's frowned upon to IM people that's all ! So maybe that's her 'thing ' ?

spaceyboo · 29/11/2015 10:43

Get a screen guard. Problem solved!!

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 28/11/2015 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperFlyHigh · 28/11/2015 23:13

OP but you are asking us why but not giving us any more info re why she'd be pissed off so of course one reason could be is cos she thinks you are not pulling you weight work wise....

You seem to be reading into it from your OP that maybe she and your colleague had a thing you don't know about and that's why she's pisssed off. Or you're confused as to why she's annoyed.

We can't help you with limited info now can we?!

And as a dragon on the Den would say, I'm out! Tried to help....

jcoleville · 28/11/2015 23:13

She is BU but so are you for thinking it's cool to IM people all day

OMG I've just seen this! I laughed so hard!!!!!

Thinking I'm "cool" to IM people all day!?

Yeah I'm fucking cool me. I even wear sunglasses whilst I do my IMing.

OP posts:

CatMilkMan · 28/11/2015 23:09

Sort of xpost! Some of my team constantly use our messaging system others constantly check mumsnet like (ahem) goals are still achieved and jobs are done.

CatMilkMan · 28/11/2015 23:07

Yanbu, it's none of her business and some of the replies to this thread are ridiculous.
You IM abuser you! (knowing literally nothing about your work)

jcoleville · 28/11/2015 23:05

OP we have no idea about your productivity or if you're a slacker....

We have to hit over 100% a day (roughly around 104%)

Just yesterday I hit my target and still had two hours left on my shift.

I'm actually the only one in my team to do this.

The one day I was under (was because I was feeling ill and our systems kept going down) my manager questioned me about it straight away about it the next morning.

If I slacked off it would be noticed straight away (there is no hiding).

I'm at a loss of why I am having to justify this though? When the thread isn't about this.

Believe me if I crawled under my desk and slept the entire day my colleague would not be impacted by this. Her workload would not increase.

OP posts:

SuperFlyHigh · 28/11/2015 22:59

OP we have no idea about your productivity or if you're a slacker....

lunchpack actually there has been well documented info in business news etc that rather than email it's more common and encouraged for health and ways of dealing with colleagues to do it in person and not by email. Eg walk and talk.

AgentZigzag · 28/11/2015 22:56

What did she say her problem was when she talked to both of you about it OP?

jcoleville · 28/11/2015 22:54

Maybe she's sick of you taking the piss when you should be working!

It's nice that you are all very concerned about my productivity. We are targeted and I regularly go over by around 30% every day.

In fact I got an award 2 weeks ago for recognition of this.

Pretty much every single person uses IM to chat on.

I don't sit at my desk and watch Netflix and chat on IM.

Even if I did this would have no impact on her (her workload would not increase and our manager knows what our individual daily performance is)

OP posts:

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 28/11/2015 22:54

They do but 5-10 mins on IM would realistically be about 20 or so away from your desk if you had it face to face.

Some people I'm sure would rather staff were chained to their desk and never uttered anything remotely unwork related

SuperFlyHigh · 28/11/2015 22:53

I meant not "just" about work.

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SuperFlyHigh · 28/11/2015 22:52

But lunchpack I've worked in places where it's used as a chat medium. And the bare bones here is that OP has admitted herself she's been chatting and not about work! All those chats add up time wise you know!

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 28/11/2015 22:49

If your IM system is like ours it links to your emails and stores all your conversations so if she complains you can evidence all sides.

Where I work you can't misuse it, it's to prevent people getting up off their seats and gossiping for hours so can be kept on your screen as you work and multi task.

AgentZigzag · 28/11/2015 22:38

What did she say when she confronted him?

What kinds of things was she saying in her IM messages to you about it?

If you want to know what her problem is she must have given at least a hint when she's talked to you and him about it?

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