to not buy boring Christmas presents?

[crappyday]

I texted SILs and BILs about nephew and niece presents. I have 9. It's a costly business!
I asked if there were any ideas for presents. Mainly due to fact that I don't see them very often, and having 3 kids myself, I know that tastes can change quickly.
They range from 5-11.
1 SIL has texted back that she'd like me to get them pajamas.

2 years ago they said dressing gowns which I ignored. I bought fun things instead.
How do i say back to them that I think that clothing is not a fun or nice thing for aunties to buy for Christmas and that I think they should provide their kids with clothes? I'm just looking for ideas or tips so I get stuff right!

If I were asked (which I am by my sis and mum) I say stuff like DS anything Lego or minions, DD1 anything girly but not too pink or Enid Blyton type books, DD2 anything pink or sparkling or frozen.

It's not like they are hard up for cash- if they were I wouldn't mind so much, but they have equivalent, if not more spare cash than us. I don't think Christmas presents are about family buying useful things.

My MIL may have caused this by always wanting to buy a toy plus an item of clothing, but that's grandma.

AIBU to think that I shouldn't buy them boring stuff for Christmas?
What shall I text back?

[Grilledaubergines]

"Oh I was really hoping to get them something a bit more exciting this year - are there no toys or gadgets you think they'd like instead? Sorry, I appreciate you've given me an idea, I just had in mind something more cool".

[Mmmmcake123]

Just buy what you want. Anything that is age appropriate and say you couldn't find any nice pjs.

[BondJayneBond]

If you got pyjamas featuring a favourite character, then the kids might really like them and think that they're fun to wear.

[WheresMyBurrito]

YANBU in that it's your money, buy what you like.

But YABU to ask for SIL's input and then just ignore it completely. I don't see what the issue is tbh. I loved getting nice new pyjamas at Xmas (still do) maybe she just doesn't want to be inundated with unnecessary stuff. Better something useful than something that'll be down the charity shop in two minutes, no?

[goddessofsmallthings]

Tell your SIL that as children's sizes vary so much from store to store, you'd rather buy them something educational such as a trumpet, violin, and a heavy metal drum kit and then you can become the aunty who always gives them fun books such as the horrible histories or build your own particularly irritating toy kits.

Alternatively, buy them primarni -cheapNcheerful-- fun jammies and wrap them round annoying toys that are guaranteed to piss parents off.

[Tootsiepops]

I don't buy sensible presents for Christmas. I like to gift noisy, messy and impractical stuff. Which was great when I wasn't planning children of my own, but I'm due any day now and I have a feeling the payback from my friends is going to be a bitch

[Krampus]

They may feel as if there are too many toys in the house already.

[Euripidesralph]

This frustrates me a little ... Why on earth ask if you want to ignore and honestly be a bit judgey ("I think parents should buy their own clothes")

My usually Bec sister is really good with this and will get what I ask (granted I don't take the Mickey) and frankly if she can get it so can you

Perhaps rather than needing to be the "cool" aunt you could be the supportive sister /sister in law?

[wigglesrock]

My kids who range from 4 - 10 love pjs, get them "fun" pjs - onesies if you want. You've asked the parents, you've been pointed in the right direction. It may be your money to spend but its a gift for someone. Or get them cheaper pjs and a family game between them.

I wouldn't be texting any thing back apart from great thanks

[TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief]

My sister is close to me and just said 'no way! You can buy that. I'm not buying them boring presents' when I suggested clothes once.
I just couldn't think of what they wanted and they were thrilled with the presents she did buy them.

[Bunbaker]

I'm glad you aren't my SIL. I would be a little annoyed if you had bothered to ask then ignored my suggestions. I assume your SIL has more than one child. Perhaps she doesn't want her house cluttered up with more "stuff".

I used to sigh at some of the useless tat DD got for her birthday when she was still having large parties.

And, for what it's worth, I actually like getting useful presents. OH bought me some top quality kitchen knives for my birthday. Preparing food with them is a pleasure.

[WhispersOfWickedness]

I have asked for pyjamas for DS from someone
Luckily I know she approves of the idea because she bought him some the other year. Pyjamas are expensive! And get used lots more than the 6th tea set. My DC love receiving clothes and find them very exciting.

[timeforabrewnow]

Get the pyjamas this year, and don't ask next year. Yes, you are being unreasonable.

[00100001]

YABU - you asked what they wanted, and then you decided that wasn't good enough?

WHy not get them PJs and something else that is small and fun?

[crappyday]

Thanks everyone.
I wouldn't mind if I thought the kids would like them as a gift, but I have seen their response to clothes gifts in the past, and it's not great!
Whilst I think practical gifts for adults is fine (I too would love knives) I'm not sue that it's the same for kids of that age.

I suppose a trip to primark for onesies to see what they have.

[Moonax]

She may already be planning to buy the toys and kits and whatnot herself.

The whole point of asking someone about gifts is to at least listen to the answer. It might not be the answer you want, but having asked, you need to go along with it.

Maybe get them animal onesies? I've got a penguin onesie on my own Christmas list and nobody every buys it for me ...

[Jftbo74]

Either stop asking or just ask and follow their instructions.

There's nothing wrong with your sister asking for something useful, I'm sure your sister has some nice toy gifts for them anyway. It's not like they will be hard done by. Lots of UK kids have much more then they really truly need. Christmas seems to have become so commercial over the last 20 years.

You can ensure the PJ's are minion themed if you're intent in buying a commercialised film themed item.

[Jftbo74]

Also my kids adore their onesies! Things can be useful and special

[theycallmemellojello]

You don't have to justify what you get them . Asking SIL for her input and then telling her that her idea would not be a nice or fun thing would be extremely rude! I don't see a problem with pyjamas as a gift myself but if you don't want to give them that then just buy something else. Just don't turn it into a massive criticism of SIL, who has done nothing wrong.

[madmotherof2]

I'm buying PJs for my nieces, but they've requested them as they love what I buy ( they think I'm cooler at choosing clothes than their mum!!)

[Senpai]

Your SIL offered a suggestion it is not an obligation to take said suggestion. You won't be rude for ignoring it, anymore than you'd be polite for take it. You are not obligated to cater to "demands" for a gift.

If you don't like it, get them something else. If it was my sister, I'd bluntly tell her to give me something more fun. Although, one year I did get pajamas with my favorite character on them an accompanying plush and movie. That was a good present. Could you do something like that?

[VelvetSpoon]

Most children get far more toys than they need or have time to play with at Xmas. I can quite understand parents suggesting something more useful than endless piles of plastic tat which will never get used.

[queenmools]

My sister in law does this to me and I'm afraid it really irritates me. She asks what they like and I give a sensible suggestion of something reasonably priced that the children actually want or need. She then completely ignores it and buys about 5 items. It annoys me for the following reasons:
Why ask if you are going to ignore
We don't need 5 more items of tat
The original item was something we need so now someone else has to get it
We'd rather have one small quality item that we wanted than 5 items of poorer quality.
Maybe your neices and nephews really want/need some pyjamas and your sil is counting on you to get them. If you want to get surprise presents then don't ask or just ask for a general theme eg frozen.

[Mehitabel6]

In future don't ask!

[DinosaursRoar]

You said plural for SILs and BILs for christmas, so I'm guessing it's a big family, the SIL in question may well have run out of 'fun' ideas, the DCs get so many toys they don't play with them all, so is suggesting something that will get used, rather than something that won't.

Ask if there's any particular characters they'd like on the PJs, (give suggestions like Minions or Lego or Frozen etc) and you could always get PJs and a little toy to go with from the same character.