Advanced search

Mothers income invisible? Child maintenance

(316 Posts)
CocoEnglishChanel91 Fri 28-Aug-15 08:58:51

Advice please. My boyfriend and I have no children. His son lives with his mum, who earns £20k a year, plus WFT Credits, Child Benefit - and is living with her new partner, a police detective sergeant who earns £50k. Combined household income (including benefits) pushing £80k.

My boyfriend earns £28k per annum, sees his son every week, has great relationship with him. He has to pay over £200 per month to his ex, and has the Child Maintenance people crawling over and vetting his income.

Yet the £80k going into his ex''s household is classed as not being relative. Surely it is?

He's not trying to escape responsibility for paying for his son. Far from it. He's paid consistently from the off (over 15 years ) but it seems ludicrous to me that his ex can have whatever household income she likes and that's not a factor.

It just feels very unfair to be, with everything seemingly weighted on his ex's side.

Why is the parent with care's income not relevant? Doesn't the child have two patents?

From people with experience is what I say about patents with care correct? And could it impact on me if we move in together?



Griphook Fri 28-Aug-15 09:03:58

It's down the the dad to pay for his Child, £200 isn't really enough to cover 50% of the child's needs.

I would also suggest that if he earn £28k £200 isn't enough, there's a online calulator run the numbers through that and see what you get.

This man aready has a child think about how this will impact you before you move in and the financial and emotional implications

Griphook Fri 28-Aug-15 09:05:11

One more thing, if you moved in together would you be happy for your income to be included in the maintaince? Because is very similar to what you are suggesting

NotSoDesperateHousewife Fri 28-Aug-15 09:06:26

Load of shite, if her partner earns 50k+ she isn't getting any tax credits.

Would you like one of these biscuit anyway? Lovely.

CJCreggsmyhero Fri 28-Aug-15 09:07:16

Dear J

You know Hun, it seems very unfair to you that your boyfriend is having to support the child he brought into this world.

I'm sure that £200 a month could be better served being spent by you.

All I can think is, you might get a warmer reception not posting on a forum swarming, literally riddled with hard working, big hearted, selfless mothers who routinely get shafted by feckless arses who shirk their responsibilities.


MammaTJ Fri 28-Aug-15 09:29:03

The fact that the mother has met and fallen in love with a man who earns a very good income should not have any bearing whatsoever on a father contributing to the upkeep of his child.

KissMyFatArse Fri 28-Aug-15 10:18:16

If her partner earns that she won't be getting any benefits. Sorry but sounds a bit like the green eyed monster coming from you op.

ElderlyKoreanLady Fri 28-Aug-15 10:29:43

Your partner's £200 a month doesn't go anywhere near the 50% financial responsibility he should be liable for, so YABU.

SilentlyScreamingAgain Fri 28-Aug-15 10:34:21

So the child's mother earns £20k and the child's father earns £28k (the mum's DP's salary is of no relevance) and the child's father is paying less that £50 a week towards his child's upkeep?

I’d be unhappy too, imagine not contributing a full 50% of your child’s financial needs. Have a good long think before you consider having kids with this man.

JanetBlyton Fri 28-Aug-15 10:59:04

Perhaps have the child living with the father half the time. We were paying £30k a year for full time childcare for 3 children under 5.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing Fri 28-Aug-15 11:21:09

Your boyfriend pays £50 a week for the upkeep of his child. He seriously thinks that's too much?

As far as I'm concerned, the mother and her partner could earn £1m each and I'd still say your boyfriend is responsible for paying for HIS child.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing Fri 28-Aug-15 11:26:12

He's not trying to escape responsibility for paying for his son. Far from it.

Don't get this.

Either he thinks £50 a week is a fair amount and therefore what his ex and her partner earn IS irrelevant OR he thinks he shouldn't have to pay the £50 per week for his child as he thinks his ex's partner earns more than him.

Which is it?
Because one is definitely him trying to shirk responsibility but if it's the other, then why bother with this post?

wasonthelist Fri 28-Aug-15 12:08:46

Op yabvu for starting 2 threads the same.

lunar1 Fri 28-Aug-15 12:12:10

Did you not like the answers on the first thread?

Ok, I completely agree he should be able to stop paying immediately and take you out more.

longtimelurker101 Fri 28-Aug-15 13:55:35

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

googoodolly Fri 28-Aug-15 14:05:20

It doesn't make any difference how much the RP earns. The NRP has a responsibility to pay for their child's upkeep, and generally that means giving the RP a percentage of their wages.

£200 a month is a tiny amount when it comes to raising a child. I appreciate that's the legal amount decided by the CSA/CMS but it doesn't go very far towards supporting a child, especially when they get older.

FanFuckingTastic Fri 28-Aug-15 14:11:01

Absolutely fair, you don't expect other people to be financially responsible for the child's well being, so taking into account the mother has residence, thus most of the expense, I think £50 per week is actually a pretty low amount to pay towards child maintenance, he is eight grand a year better off.

You don't mention your income, if the new partner on the other side is to be financially responsible, where does your money come into it? Or maybe leave the parental responsibility to the parents, and accept that a man with children has to take responsibility for that, and it doesn't change when he enters into a new relationship.

FanFuckingTastic Fri 28-Aug-15 14:12:39

'he is eight grand a year better off, with less of the expenses of child rearing, I'd say he's getting off pretty lightly'.

Missing sentence, hmm.

LunchpackOfNotreDame Fri 28-Aug-15 14:23:54

I could dignify this with an answer, but that answer would be 'fuck off'

Or I could do a long winded explanation of how if your oh and his ex were still together 50% of his income or more would go towards the child and actually 15% is fuck all and should be higher so quit whinging.

Hellochicken Fri 28-Aug-15 14:24:19

£200 sounds quite low and does he just pay the minimum child maintenance, because he has no other children so you'd think he might pay a bit more. If child is resident with mother and he only sees them once a week she will have much more expense.

If they have 80 grand income I'm not sure how much tax credits they will get.

hibbleddible Fri 28-Aug-15 14:30:25

£200 a month goes very little towards the true cost of raising a child. How much do you think he should pay?

If they have a household income if 80k they won't get any tax credits. At most she is getting child benefit (£20/week).

You seem very muddled.

Mother's income is not relevant to how much maintenance a father should pay.

FishWithABicycle Fri 28-Aug-15 14:41:49

The income of the police detective sergeant boyfriend is completely irrelevant. He has no financial responsibility to this child.
There are no tax credits if a member of the household is on £50k, or if there are then someone is being a benefits cheat so should be reported.
Child Benefit is irrelevant - the child is entitled to this whoever he lives with and should not have any bearing on how much his father contributes to his upkeep.

Your boyfriend earns 40% more than the child's mother, he should be contributing at least 58% of the child's costs. £200 per month doesn't come close.

Of course he is trying to escape financial responsibility for his son. Watch out, he'll be doing the same for you in a few years' time if you aren't careful.

Backforthis Fri 28-Aug-15 14:47:08

He's paying around 11% of his income after tax. He's paying the lowest basic rate amount the CSA allows. How little would he like to pay?

MirandaWest Fri 28-Aug-15 14:48:01

How do you know in such detail the amounts your partners ex and her partner earn?

longtimelurker101 Fri 28-Aug-15 14:54:17

I'm always wary of threads like this where people "know" how much income others are getting. Often its based on assumptions not knowledge and the OP has worked themselves into a hissy fit because: "Its not fair!"

Its strange that on MN people have such an intimate knowledge of benefits and salaries, its also strange that people on MN know so many people who are cheating the system, way more than is proved by the data.

I think we all need to take a good look at ourselves and stop listening to the green eyed monster.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now