She's 18 and went nc 4 years ago. Long story involving a degree of active and passive parental alienation on her mum's part.
Dh has continued to send cards at Christmas, birthdays and for exam results etc letting her know he's there if she ever wants to get back in contact. It's been hard and we both experienced something very similar to bereavement until we made a conscious decision to move on in the knowledge she never replied to any communication from him and refused to meet up with him. So, although he still sends cards to her, he no longer expects anything back - this avoiding huge disappointment and grief again.
Today she went a round Robin to say she's done well in her A levels. She probably had no intention of telling DH but his number was still in her phone. He was excited at first because he thought she'd contacted him specifically to let him know. He was crest fallen when he realised it went to everyone. He's told me that he believes when she moves away to uni he's lost her completely. Anyway, he replied to her text to say he was proud and still here etc but no reply.
Her text also came through to me so I replied and congratulated her, said we both know she'll do well at uni and beyond. I asked if she'd consider meeting up with dh before she leaves. I explained that although she feels she's moved on in life, it's impossible for a parent to forget a child. I said if she felt she couldn't meet up, would it hurt to send him an occasional text just to let him know she's ok. So far nothing back, although I don't think I expected anything (she is more receptive to me and we always used to get on well prior to her going nc).
Anyway, I don't think I can reopen old wounds by telling dh that I've asked the question and that she's bit replied/ not willing to meet up. Clearly I'd let him know if she replies positively, but I don't want to hurt him more than he is already. I just thought it was worth another try as she might listen to me. AIBU not telling him?
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AIBU?
To not tell DH I've contacted his nc dd?
64 replies
LittleLionMansMummy · 13/08/2015 15:06
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Liquoricetwirl ·
13/08/2015 17:48
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