I'm 37 and single. I have a two year old. I live an uneventful middle class existence on the south coast. I'm a part time nurse. I'm single by choice. I'm not sure if these things are relevant, probably. I don't have depression and I never have had.
I'm just wondering if anyone else has this nagging feeling that when you hit 30 life just feels a bit 'meh'?
So here's an example. I went today to an absolutely gorgeous national trust park with two of my close friends. They also have toddlers. We were there for about three hours. I just kept thinking "I'm not enjoying this". Why?! I was in a beautiful place with lovely friends and my lovely daughter and I was bored senseless. I drove home feeling so sad as if that doesn't make me happy, what will?
I went camping a month ago. Didn't enjoy it. Picnic on the downs. Felt nothing.
Spent the day at the beach, nothing.
Went to a kite festival with my friends, i couldn't wait to leave.
When I was a kid and a teenager and even a young adult loads of things were really fun. I enjoyed my friends, activities, days out, things felt brilliant and seemed so simple.
What the fuck happened? I can't remember the last time I was genuinely, genuinely happy. You know, that fizzy brained feeling of feeling brilliant about life. I had it loads in my 20's. When I turned 30 it's just all vanished. I didn't get pregnant until I was 34 so that didn't particularly make me feel this way. I wish I felt excited and happy about my life with my daughter, I'm not particularly. She's great, but I don't 'enjoy' life with her. I just trudge through it. I've a really good sense of humour and I find things funny, and I can easily make people laugh so I'm not some joyless old hag. I just don't feel 'it' in my heart.
Does anyone else (who isn't depressed) just feel a bit 'meh' about life and think it's lost it's shine? Is it my age? How do I make myself enjoy things again? Is it even possible? Should I join a choir?!? Get laid?! Mindfulness?! I'm taking St. John's wort and fish oils. No avail. God I don't know. I just want to feel joy in my heart again!!
Anyone else know what I mean?
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...to wonder if life these days has lost It's shine, it is it just me?
72 replies
DangerGrouse · 07/08/2015 21:32
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