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AIBU?

to think they should not have been allowed back in?

108 replies

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 08:50

I went to a softplay with my 2 children , one 5 and one 2 and my friend with her child a bit older. I had to take my eldest to the toilet. When I arrived back my toddler was sat on friends knee and friends kid ran to me saying 'someone's been hurting ds2' I initially assumed it was scrapping as DS 2 is a bruiser. It was much worse than I thought it turns out in the soft rolling pins a group of lads at least 10,11 had been hitting him, pushing him,kicking him and when he got back up again tripped him up again and again, a woman saw this as he'd gotten split up from friends kid (big place) and told the boys and got him out of there my friend had just come looking for him and came across it. I was shook up at the age difference, malice involved , told staff and they found the parents etc the mum just said "sorry I'll tell them' it was an extended family group so I didn't expect then to kick them all out but I saw them back in 2 mins later. we soon left as it was not acceptable IMO. AIBU to think should have been told not to go back and dealt with some severity as it wasn't a minor incident? I was too stunned to kick up a fuss tbh now I'm angry.

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FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 08:52

*sorry it appears I've posted this twice

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chocolatechip123 · 30/07/2015 08:55

How old is your DS? Poor kid. Did they let the lad back into the play area?

I'd expect that boy to be put in the 'sinbin' and an apology from the 'responsible adult'.

I loathe soft play. Its like lord of the flies. I wonder if the parents/carers were told what he actually did, rather than 'he was getting over excited'.

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 08:56

They were attacking my 2year old!

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FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 08:57

Like I said , a group of lads at least 10 or 11.

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hedgehogsdontbite · 30/07/2015 08:58

My DS is 2. I'd have gone ballistic. YANBU

whothehellknows · 30/07/2015 08:59

So a bunch of 10 year olds were attacking a toddler? Yeah, they should have been chucked out.

Summeblaze · 30/07/2015 09:00

That's disgusting. I would make a formal complaint. 10 year olds attacking a 2 year old is not on and they should be banned from the centre.

PtolemysNeedle · 30/07/2015 09:03

Of course they shouldn't have been allowed back in, but I think that has to be for parents to enforce rather than the teenagers they usually have staffing these places. But if the parents have raised children that at 10/11 years old think it's even remotely acceptable to hurt another child, let alone one so much smaller, then there's unfortunately not much hope of them disciplining their children properly this time.

I'm really sorry you and your ds had to go through that, you must feel awful about it.

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 09:09

Thanks for replies it was a big extended family group so I'd have been happy with them forced to sit out rather than punish the younger ones. I feel like a wet blanket I was in too much shock wanted to not ruin what was left by getting angry. I will ring I think.

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redskybynight · 30/07/2015 09:13

But neither you nor your friend actually saw this happen? So you only have the 2nd hand (and 3rd hand by the time it got to you) story from a random woman. no way should a play centre be throwing people out on the basis of hearsay.

I have to admit that I find it highly unlikely that a group of 10/11 year olds (who takes their 10/11 year old to soft play anyway?) were attacking your child. I suspect it was much more likely that they were pushing each other about without any regard for anyone around them and your DS got caught in the middle.

PandaMummyofOne · 30/07/2015 09:14

Ballistic does not begin to describe my reaction if that happened to DS. I hope he's ok now OP. We ways get to our soft play as it opens. DS usually had the run of the place for an hour and when it starts to get busy we come away. However I avoid like the plague during the holidays.

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 09:17

My 2yr old has actually said to me they 'were hitting' 'they hurt me' some kids are nasty , nasty people don't just spring up as adults. They were no protests of innocence from the lads either just smirking.

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redskybynight · 30/07/2015 09:23

I'm sorry your child got hurt OP, but in the absence of any actual evidence that these children were maliciously attacking him, you can't really expect the play centre to do anything. A 2 year old cannot distinguish "intent". Were the older children accused of attacking him,or just being "a bit rough"?

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 30/07/2015 09:26

Do they have CCTV. Just a thought. It would establish who did what.

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 09:35

My friend did see them run off looking guilty and not one of them in a group of four said 'we didn't do it" when confronted just sat smirking so its unlikely they didn't do it.

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GarminGirl · 30/07/2015 09:41

Your 2 year old was left alone in the area for bigger kids? Or was he in the area for under 5's?

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 09:47

There is under 5s theres a baby area he's too big for that many toddlers were in that section he for a minute or so got lost from my friends child who is 8, tbh I don't think victim Blamey tone is appropriate here a group of 10 yr olds saw a lone toddler and attacked them.

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zazzie · 30/07/2015 09:47

I think a 2 year old needs a adult on with them if there are lots of big ones on. Those places are like zoos during the school holidays. That is not excusing any child hurting another on purpose.

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 09:47

There is no* under 5s

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GarminGirl · 30/07/2015 09:50

Sorry, I think an adult should have been with him too. An 8 year old isn't good enough

ThomasRichard · 30/07/2015 09:50

That is shocking. Is your DS injured?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/07/2015 09:56

I agree. Unfortunately, as you weren't there, you don't know definitively what has happened. It's just heresay and circumstantial

I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and would not leave them unsupervised. That's not victim blaming just a factual observation that (a) they are too small (particularly if your DS is a "bruiser" and could hurt other children); and (b) if your DS had been supervised then you would know exactly what was going on and be in a much stronger position to insist on the removal of the other children

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 10:02

My friend was coming to get him out of the area as he had strayed he wasnt just roaming the big area. He was in a small slide area/ ball pool most of the time.

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Lurkedforever1 · 30/07/2015 10:33

I agree with redsky
It's quite possible they looked ashamed because they hadn't even noticed he was getting caught up in their boisterous/ silly boyish game, and it was just being careless not malicious.
Also unless the mother actually told you they were 10 & 11 it's perfectly likely they were actually several years younger, thus just being thoughtless and overexcited. As the parent of a tall child I've frequently come across people assuming she's older than she is, and expecting the behavior and thought process that comes with that older age.

FujimotosElixir · 30/07/2015 11:03

While I appreciate everyone has their opinion , I'm not asking did this happen, because it did, derailing threads desperately trying to disprove a toddler being hurt is a bit icky.

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