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To be upset by this?

(73 Posts)
CrumpetHead Sun 28-Jun-15 09:53:35

Would you be upset if you overheard DP talking to his friend and as girl drove past say "get your tits out for the boys" then go on to say "imagine if they were really saggy like old granny tits"
I lost 6 stone a few years ago and have had one baby and am pregnant with second baby now so my boobs are rather droopy so it did hurt a bit to hear as he always tells me "you're the only one for me, I love you the way you are, you do it for me" etc. I haven't mentioned it to him but it has upset me, I'm really body conscious already and now I feel 10 times worst and dread undressing in front of him, it took ages for me to feel comfortable in the first place. I've always trusted him but now I know he says stuff like that when I'm not around it's put some doubt in my mind too.

LashesandLipstick Sun 28-Jun-15 09:56:57

I'd be upset my partner thought shouting things like that at random women were okay. I'd talk to him and tell him his behaviour is disrespectful

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 28-Jun-15 09:57:22

I would be upset he was behaving like a horrible 14 year old. Was he showing off in front of his mates?

TheHouseOnBellSt Sun 28-Jun-15 09:58:38

I'd be absolutely LIVID never mind upset. You need to make him understand why it's not ok to objectify women.

Jinglebells99 Sun 28-Jun-15 09:59:33

Yep, I would be upset if I overheard my dp talking like that. He sounds horrible.

Bunbaker Sun 28-Jun-15 10:00:01

I would also be livid and disappointed.

MamaLazarou Sun 28-Jun-15 10:00:39

Yes, I would be appalled.

CrumpetHead Sun 28-Jun-15 10:01:25

She didn't hear him say it, he just said it to his friend, she was driving past with her windows closed, but it's not the point.

pinkyredrose Sun 28-Jun-15 10:06:54

He sounds immature and not that intelligent. What are his good points?

InnocentWhenYouDream Sun 28-Jun-15 10:08:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntyMag10 Sun 28-Jun-15 10:08:37

So you were right there with them when he said it?

elbowsdontsing2 Sun 28-Jun-15 10:09:18

id tell him to grow fucking up

CrumpetHead Sun 28-Jun-15 10:09:23

No I overheard it, he doesn't know I heard.

Seriouslyffs Sun 28-Jun-15 10:09:51

Challenge it. Because he'll be saying things like that in front of yor children one day. Had he never said anything like that before?

Fatstacks Sun 28-Jun-15 10:12:05

Is this the kind of crap he normally shouts at girls?

I would be angry and massively disappointed.

SaucyJack Sun 28-Jun-15 10:14:01

Another here who would be more appalled that my DP was making horrible comments like that in the first place.

As to your point..... yes, it would upset me a bit. Not that much tho. I'm nobody's idea of a beach babe after three children, but I can accept that. DP doesn't embody my idea of male physical perfection either to be frank. But we love and fancy each other like any other couple- in fact I love him more for the idiosyncrasies.

Is this the first time you've heard your DP criticising women's bodies in such a crass way, or does he do it a lot? That's obviously not gonna help your self-esteem.

PtolemysNeedle Sun 28-Jun-15 10:14:41

I'd try not to let something like this bother me. A friend and I had a very brief conversation the other day about a man we saw who had particularly muscly and nice looking legs and arms, and also commented that it was a shame about his hair. It had absolutely no relation to how either of us feel about our own husbands legs and arms. It was harmless. Try and put it into perspective.

CrumpetHead Sun 28-Jun-15 10:14:43

No, I've never heard him say anything like this before this is why I'm so shocked. Maybe he just thought he was cool saying it in front of his friend but it's hurt me. I don't know wether to be glad I heard so that now I know or if I wish I never heard it in the first place

molyholy Sun 28-Jun-15 10:15:33

Urgh. What a foul man. If I even thought my husband would speak like that about women, I wouldn't even be with him. Gross. I am amazed that his comment has left YOU feeling bad.

Finola1step Sun 28-Jun-15 10:16:54

Do you have a dd? Is the unborn baby a girl? If so I would be simply asking oh "Fast forward 20 years and two grown men who should know better are leering at our dd and shouting at her to get her tits out. Then they are joking about what her breasts may look like. Just think about that for a few moments. Now think about what you would say to our dd if she came home very upset because of this situation. What would you say to her?"

If you have a ds and new baby is a ds, you can change the scenario to a niece. The main aim is to make him see the impact of his actions. Shame him if need be.

karbonfootprint Sun 28-Jun-15 10:17:38

He sounds like a complete loser. What a horrendous attitude. No decent man would ever say anything like this is, even if the woman it was addressed to didn't hear it.

What an arsehole. I'd wash my hands of him

InnocentWhenYouDream Sun 28-Jun-15 10:17:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RinkRashDerbyKisses Sun 28-Jun-15 10:18:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Finola1step Sun 28-Jun-15 10:18:14

Oh and whatever you do, don't reflect this back on yourself. This has nothing to do with you, its all on his shoulders.

RinkRashDerbyKisses Sun 28-Jun-15 10:19:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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