to think due to aibu it is now hard to have any sort of debate on here

[southeastastra]

without people reporting posts instead of debating on thread or people being offended by the slightest thing, silencing any sort of free speech

it's becoming a very strange place and i think aibu is the main cause of it.

when i joined there was a fair amount of people being offended but they gave their reasons in polite intelligent debate. not people just i suppose report

i wish aibu was a whole different website at times then i could play like i used to on here

[midnightvelvet01]

I've never classed 'CAT me cunt' as polite intelligent debate tbh

Yes you are correct but its the nature of the beast, as the site gets larger the intelligence gets diluted sometimes.

[BIWI]

I agree. I posted something recently and it was in opposition to the main 'thrust' of the thread. But rather than debate or argue about it, I was subject to all manner of insults. I hadn't insulted anyone, just stated my own opinions!

It was quite upsetting, actually. (Especially as the main protagonist was someone I 'know' who is also a FB 'friend')

Not sure if it's because of AIBU, but it's definitely a phenomenon that's happened more and more often recently - along with the 'pile in' approach to posting that happens all too often.

[fiddlybulb]

I've been on MN for about 8 years and remember people saying 'it's not as clever as it used to be' when I joined. Maybe there was a point when MN had 5 users and they were all Steven Hawking?

I've looked at plenty of threads tonight and not a bunfight to be seen.

MN is fine but it is possible to just get bored with it and need to move on.

[MumSnotBU]

Are you saying we're not intelligent?

How very dare you...

[hiddenhome]

I get sick of the professionally offended. All the other professionally offended people pile in and silence any other views and it just becomes pointless. The entire thread then becomes a 'love in' for all the professionally offended people, who then spend their time swapping stories that reflect the professionally offended viewpoint. The whole thing is held together by clutched pearl cement and no other shall enter

The professionally offended use words and phrases such as: shocked, vile, nasty and disgusting to criticise others' views. Hyperbole abounds of course. If they ever did actually encounter anything that was shocking, vile, nasty or disgusting, they'd probably need hospitalising due to the shock.

I don't actually like kittens

"What? you don't like kittens? What a terrible thing to say. I've never heard such a disgusting thing, you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. I expect you are a kitten beater"

No, I'm just not that keen on them, one scratched my two year old once

Get right away from me you kitten hater! I'm reporting you for your outrageous attitude.

(Everyone nods in agreement).

[BIWI]

... along with the accusation of bullying

[LaurieFairyCake]

Agree with BIWI - ive posted recently contrary to the jist of the thread (mild manneredly I might add, no calling cunts) and been routinely insulted.

For no reason. Someone even said 'God, I'd hate to be your child - they must hate you' or something like that

[balletnotlacrosse]

Totally agree. The grumpy old lady thread is a prime example of the professionally offended gallumping on and accusing people of all sorts they never said.
Some people just seem to scour threads for something to take umbrage at.

[fiveacres]

I think it is fine to say that you think someone is being unreasonable because of XYZ.

The ones that are so fucking annoying are the:

YABU. HTH

And worse

I do not wish to post where I wish to stick the s

But we must never judge, unless someone is obviously middle class.

And if you are obviously middle class, it's a stealth boast.

[GatoradeMeBitch]

AIBU is getting more and more vitriolic.

I just read a thread where someone asked if it would be okay if she put a note on her son's party invitations letting people know that he is saving for a special toy and that contributions would be welcome. The hateful responses are just ridiculous.

Sorry, but I think AIBU should be re-named PMS-Club.

[ghostyslovesheep]

well just post round it - I think people take stuff way to personally

just debate - get on with it!

[Theimpossiblegirl]

I think it got worse when AIBU was put at the top, I'm sure it used to be further down when it started. The threads are now the first ones people read and they get a lot more traffic than they used to. I'm sure there are plenty of people that only ever comment on AIBU.

[southeastastra]

hugs biwi

[shadypines]

Hiddenhome yours is one of the best posts I've ever read (good thread OP thankyou), did you come up with the phrase professionally offended that's genius and so true.

I dared to post once asking about dog care, I know nothing about it and didn't want a dog but DD desperately did so I innocently asked could I house a dog outside (i.e. in a kennel) and some other questions. Well...blow me down if I wasn't the spawn of Satan, I was made to feel cruel to dogs even though I'd never had a dog FFS

You just feel like screaming read the dam post and put away your to moan without any valid reason Aaaarrggg!

[shadypines]

read the dam post and put away your agenda to moan missed out quite an important word there,,,oops

[lydiarobinson]

Preserve me from the PO brigade. You cannot open your mouth about anything but they're jumping all over your words, rearranging them to suit their pet outrage. Tiresome people who do a lot more harm than good.

[Fatmomma99]

I'm quite new, so probably part of the dumbing-down process (I am quite dumb!) but I like the debate.

My experience to add to yours is there was a post about clothes to wear to an event, and I added two posts, one saying that no one would care what she wore, as long as she was part of the event she was stressing about and the other saying it felt like aliens had landed on aibu, because the thread was so much better suited to s&B.

OP said "what's S&B?" and loads of other posters referred to S&B, and i was universally rounded on for being a bitch for being nasty on a (really boring) thread.

[BIWI]

Thanks SEA

Fatmomma99 - ah yes, you've come across the 'AIBU only' brigade. There is a whole cohort of posters who only post there and don't ever bother to look beyond AIBU. It's no wonder some of them are so prickly - they never see what kind of posts or posters live in the rest of MN. They are the ones who think they have to demonstrate that they are from the nest of vipers all the time.

[NewFlipFlops]

YANBU.

[ImprobableBee]

I particularly enjoy the members of the PO Brigade who take to advanced searching you, and following you around all your recent posts to antagonise you.

Thought provoking stuff.

[magimedi]

BIWI - You are so right.

OP, take a wander round some of the remoter reaches of MN & you will find lots of interesting debate, fun chat, advice etc etc.

I think AIBU is quite a good thing to have, as it corrals all the cunts in one place, mostly!

[cookiec]

Wow, I'm new here and joined this week and just posted my first thread on AIBU- I feel a bit bad now, as if I'm one of the professionally/constantly offended! I promise I'm not! Lol :)

I genuinely didn't know if I was being unreasonable in my thing, and I'm in favour of a good debate/free speech. If someone said I was being unreasonable, and had generally well-thought reason/s, I'd say maybe they're right and take it into consideration- would never block etc. But I have seen some posts on there, where I think the poster has already made up their minds, and just wants people to validate it. I think it must be frustrating when you try to have a reasoned argument, then get hate/blocking just b/c people disagree with you.


But in terms of free speech, the flip side of the coin is- if someone was just being offensive for no reason, and saying it's because they have 'free speech', I'd say 'No, you are an adult, and you do have some responsibility to consider the things you say/write.' You probably wouldn't go up to your coworker/mild acquaintance if they said something you didn't like and call them a cunt, because you know better. So, why do people do it online?

But that's just my 2 cents :)

[ChuffinAda]

I disagree. I recently took part a very good discussion about feminism and transgender issues in chat that had many different views and only a couple of deletions in a 1000 post thread.

[magimedi]

Cookie - don't feel bad about your other thread. It's a totally valid AIBU (and I have posted on it).

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

I have noticed a lot of "pile on" behaviour lately in AIBU. Maybe it's always been there & I just hadn't noticed. Maybe not.

I can't remember the exact threads now, but there have been a few with a fairly lengthy & serious OP, requiring answer - followed by two pages or more of posters picking up on one minor, virtually irrelevant part of the post and running with it.

e.g. OP: "DP left me for another woman, AIBU to empty his bank account and chop his socks up? I am posting quickly for advice before I collect DS from school."

Poster 1: School? At 5pm? What is your DS doing at school at 5pm?

Poster 2: You lost me at "school". It's 5pm.

Poster 3: You haven't had time to collect your DS from school until now, but you've had time to post on a forum?

etc. etc. etc., until eventually someone sensible comes along & actually deals with the point at hand.

It mystifies me it does .