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AIBU?

To think that wearing a digger jumper will not mentally scar DD?

68 replies

Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses · 30/11/2014 07:25

Walking through town today with DD (16 weeks) in front carrier. She was wearing blue trousers and a jumper that used to be DS's which is blue with dark blue diggers and trucks on it.

A woman I know (friend of MIL) stopped us to say hello.
Woman - I thought you'd had a baby girl!
Me - er...yes. Still do!
Woman - but she's wearing all boys' clothes! (Shocked face)
Me - yes, they were DS's
Woman - (still looking aghast) But the poor thing! Are times so hard that you can't get her a nice dress!?
She then addressed DD along the lines of 'poor thing, mummy is making you very confused.'

What would your reply have been? I thought this was a bloody rude thing to say.

DD wears lots of boys clothes as I have a large amount of good quality, hardly worn jumpers/t shirts etc, all from next and mostly like new as I went totally overboard with pfb DS.

I didn't think that this was particularly cruel..? AIBU??

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TheSkiingGardener · 30/11/2014 07:29

She's a loon. Next time anything like that happens just give them a shocked look and say "A girl? I thought it was just a boy without a winkle!" And run off.

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Waffles80 · 30/11/2014 07:34

I would've been quite impolite! Drives me crackers.

I have blue footmuffs on my double buggy and CONSTANTLY get shocked "but your twins are girls" comments.

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samithesausage · 30/11/2014 07:34

It was stupid and rude! It doesn't matter what your dd wears. I've had baby ds's wearing pink odds and sods. My DS2 (He's 8 now) went through a pink phase at 3 (pink wellies, t-shirts etc) and he's fine.
She sounds a bit mad tbh!

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 30/11/2014 07:39

Dd is often in blue clothes. I haven't had any stupid comments like that, but everyone assumes she's a boy if we're out and about. If they realise she's a girl they look embarrassed and apologise.

It's ridiculous to buy new clothes when you have perfectly useable ones available. I will never understand it. When dd can express a preference she can wear what she likes. Until then, as long as she's warm and dry, it's the rest of the world that is mad.

The pushchair is also blue :o

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HemlockStarglimmer · 30/11/2014 07:39

YANBU - "poor thing, mummy is making you very confused." made me laugh out loud.

My mum tells the story of our neighbour being scandalised at an outfit my sister was wearing when she was a baby. "You can't dress a baby in brown"! Well mum did and I probably wore the same outfit when I came along and our younger sister.

None of us are scarred for life because of it.

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Wellwellwell3holesintheground · 30/11/2014 07:40

Just say 'yes, I'm slightly concerned she'll grow a penis' and watch her squirm.

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MammaTJ · 30/11/2014 07:42

Poor DS then! He wore a lot of pink babygros! Grin

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OddBoots · 30/11/2014 07:42

My dd always wore her brother's stuff, I was going to say I don't think it did her any harm but actually now at 11 if she chooses her own t-shirts she is just as likely to pick one that is 'meant to be for a boy' because she prefers the picture.

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Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses · 30/11/2014 07:45

Just say 'yes, I'm slightly concerned she'll grow a penis' and watch her squirm.

Haha! Wish I'd said this!
Glad it's not just me. Boys clothes just look so much more comfortable aswell, especially for everyday pootling about.

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HemlockStarglimmer · 30/11/2014 07:46

I had women get snippy with me when she assumed that my baby was a boy because she was wearing blue dungarees. Very girly, ploofy, trimmed with pink edged frills and some sort of pink, twee motif on the front. But blue so they must be for a boy!

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NoArmaniNoPunani · 30/11/2014 07:53

YANBU. I don't understand why anyone would put a dress on a young baby for everyday wear. I don't go round in dresses and I'm definitely female.

We are TTC at the moment and I'm getting carried away looking at baby clothes. The ones in the boys section are much nicer.

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Poolomoomon · 30/11/2014 07:58

My DS has only just started being recognised as being a boy now that he's 4 and a half! Right from being born regardless of what he was wearing everyone thought he was a girl. I don't know what it is, he does have big eyes with long eyelashes so I guess it's that? likewise everyone assumes youngest DD (2) is a boy and they always have done! Even when she's in tights and a dress albeit with a red duffle coat. I don't do the whole pink and blue thing though so maybe that's why. Maybe if I bought a bright pink pushchair and smothered her in all pink clothing it would be more obvious? Grin.

It really got to me with DS but now I just shrug it off. People have their own ideas about what fits one gender or the other, they're mostly wrong of course because IMO ALL clothing is gender neutral and if it makes you feel comfortable, bloody wear it! Just leave them with their ignorance and you dress your DC in what you like Smile.

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Nervo · 30/11/2014 08:00

YANBU

Hemlock - I wore a lot of brown in the 70's. And blue. Don't think you got much pink then. Certainly not judging by my childhood photos.

My ds wore a lot of dd's hand-me-downs. Eminently sensible.

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stiffstink · 30/11/2014 08:04

Boys clothes will be worn by any future dc of mine too. I hate pink.

I saw the most beautiful brown girls coat and hat before I had him, god it was gorgeous. But babies can't wear brown! I was told that too! It was my mum who said it but she seems not to mind knitting a new brown cardi every few months.

I always feel sorry for girls at soft play parties wearing puffy sequin dresses or tutus on the slides, they must get sore legs. Why not get some jazzy jeans or leggings instead? You wouldn't go on an assault course in an evening gown.

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becominglessofalurker · 30/11/2014 08:04

It will do her absolutely no harm what-so-ever at her age.
However, when I was about 3 or 4 some family came for a visit, my mam was busy so my dad was sent to get me dress. He put me in light brown cords nd a red boyish jumper. I was completely mortified nd told him I wanted to wear nice girly clothes but he said he didn't have time nd I wwould just have to cope. I remember it nd was embarrassed by it for yrs. There is even photo evidence lol.

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capercaillie · 30/11/2014 08:05

DD often wears boys clothes and always has done. She is perfectly happy to because they have dinosaurs on them.

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NoCryingInEngineering · 30/11/2014 08:09

Hahaha! YANBU at all! Its all going to be grown out of in weeks anyway. DSs baby clothes will get reused if we have a second regardless if it's a boy or a girl

Maddest boy/girl comment I've heard of so far was to DM, who went to Boots to pick up some wipes, selected fragrance free (at my request) which come in a pink packet, and was asked 'Oooh is it a wee girl then?' at the checkout

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SofiaAmes · 30/11/2014 08:11

I did the opposite. I like girls clothes. Luckily for dd she turned out to be a girl, because otherwise she would have been a boy in drag. I did buy the occasional girl thing for ds too....(no skirts and dresses, but definitely pinks and purples). But dd wore lots of ds hand me downs too. She is now 12 and very trendy and been choosing her own clothes since she was 2 and still wears ds hand me downs which she constantly fishes out of the Goodwill pile....guess I didn't scar her for life.

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GotToBeInItToWinIt · 30/11/2014 08:13

DD wears a lot of navy. This can be in the form of a navy leggings with a stripy t-shirt with a yellow flower on and people still assume she's a boy because she's in navy! The only time I've ever had anyone assume she was a girl is on the one occasion she was in top to toe pink.

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Stealthpolarbear · 30/11/2014 08:14

" Hemlock - I wore a lot of brown in the 70's. And blue. Don't think you got much pink then. Certainly not judging by my childhood photos."

That's the sepia ;)

And pmsl at the wipes pack, poor ds is scarred for lif

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LordJabuJabu · 30/11/2014 08:14

I would look her up and down and point out the 'boy' colours she is wearing. Mil is horrified ds1 likes pink so I always point out her navu trousers or black shoes & ask why they're not pink...

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Squigglypig · 30/11/2014 08:24

Enjoy the time you can dress her. My now 4 year old's favourite colour used to be brown when she first learnt her colours then some little girl at nursery introduced the pink is for girls and blue is for boys thing and now the only way to get her to wear blue is if it is the same blue as Elsa.

I have explained about how it is best to love and use all the colours but she's fixated by it at the moment.

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Eminybob · 30/11/2014 08:27

DS had some blue gingham (boys) dungarees in the summer and I think they made him look more like a girl than anything else!

He has been mistaken for a girl even when he's in proper boyish clothes though. I think it's the eyelashes.

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MiaowTheCat · 30/11/2014 08:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1hamwich4 · 30/11/2014 08:30

I got that when DD had been at nursery for a while.

I fixed her with a serious look and asked her to tell me a)whether I was a girl, b)the last time shed seen me wearing pink (never) and c)how Daddy's pink shirts fit into all this.

You could practically see her rearranging the ideas in her brain to make room for this information.

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