She has asked me for advice and I am unsure.
Background. My Nana died in 1995 and my Grandad has spent Christmas at my parents every year since then. My DP and I go to my parents or his for Christmas. My Grandad cannot come here because he cannot manage the stairs in my house and we don't have a downstairs toilet for him to use so we do not host Christmas, although if he could, we would.
We all live a couple of hours away from each other so having him just for the day is not practical.
My Grandad is very difficult and rude. He has always been a rude man. He can be quite toxic, always has something negative to say, never says thank you or please. Regularly tells me how fat and useless I am. He is also 93 and so this could be his last Christmas (although he is in good health.)
My Mum wants to ask her brother to have him for Christmas. My Grandad has an ok relationship with him, my uncle has checked out emotionally due to my Grandad's rudeness although he does his duty on birthdays etc. It would not occur to him to have him for Christmas so my Mum will have to ask. He lives nearby so can have him just for the day.
Part of me thinks my Mum INBU because he is so difficult and he casts a real downer on Christmas. But part of me thinks that he is so old and he does love us very much, even if he doesn't show it very well, he is very lonely and I think going to my parents for Christmas is the highlight of his year.
My Mum has asked me what I think and I am unsure. I have offered to have us all for Christmas but like I say above it is not practical for him to come here.
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AIBU?
To know not if my Mum IBU about my Grandad at Christmas
72 replies
unfairrornot · 16/11/2014 16:53
OP posts:
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