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AIBU?

to think if you dont contribute to a colleagues leaving collection...

71 replies

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 20:12

...then you shouldn't sign the sorry you're leaving card?!

I've organised a collection for a colleague who is leaving, everyone has willingly contributed apart from one person who keeps forgetting. Ive reminded them twice as they said they were happy to give (but im not been pushing) and im not offering to put in for them and feel if they don't give it would be mean of me not to ask them to sign the card but on the other hand I think no, we all paid for the card and pressie why should it look like it came from 'all of us'?

OP posts:

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TidyDancer · 03/11/2014 20:16

The leaving card should be separate from the present. Cards would normally be signed by everyone but the tag on the present would only have the names of the people who contribute.

Although in this case, I think you're letting your personal feelings creep into this. It might be kinder to just let the person leaving believe everyone contributed.

Pigmella · 03/11/2014 20:16

No they shouldn't sign the card! I used to organise lots of collections at work. I never looked at what people contributed, but was always amazed about the amounts of 1p and 2p coins that people dropped in! In the end we agreed on a fixed amount for those that wanted to contribute - think was £5 (small company so didn't happen too often).

It's the same now with teacher collections... if you don't put in then you don't sign the card.

Guitargirl · 03/11/2014 20:17

I think you should leave it up to the colleague as to whether he/she wants to sign the card. I find the number of requests to contribute financially to things at work ridiculous and overwhelming.

Pancakeflipper · 03/11/2014 20:17

Oh we had one of those where we used to work. She was a "oh I'll sign it now and get your some money later."

Once or twice is fine, every bloody time you can feel your eyes start to roll.

And she'd write in the largest comments ever, not just a signature, full fuck off essay so no-one else could write much.

And she was not short of money because she never fucking spent any apart from in Tiffanys and her fav designer shops

Thankfully the world has lots of generous people so let her be a tight wad.

MrsJossNaylor · 03/11/2014 20:21

Of course they should be able to sign the card.

What if the colleague genuinely didn't have a spare few pounds to give? I've been in the position where I haven't got even a couple of quid spare til payday. Last month, I had to walk everywhere in the week before payday as I couldn't afford the bus.

I'd have been really embarrassed and upset if I'd been told I couldn't sign a colleague's card because I couldn't afford to contribute.

(of course, perhaps the workmate in question could afford it and they're just tight. But you never really know if that's the case).

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 20:22

Well this is the thing, we have all chipped in a fiver so we can get a decent gift, I dont want to person leaving to know that someone didn't give, but I think it's cheeky of the person who doesn't pay to take thanks as it were for something which he didn't pay towards! Ive said it doesn't have to be a fiver, just what he can afford

OP posts:

MrSheen · 03/11/2014 20:24

I think it's nice for the person leaving to feel everyone wanted to sign the card rather than feel that their leaving was causing a debacle.

MrsJossNaylor · 03/11/2014 20:24

Oh - and in a school? EVERY kid should sign the card.
So cruel to exclude the child if their parents can't afford to contribute to a collection.
I can't believe anyone would think that was okay.

CasperGutman · 03/11/2014 20:31

When I leave I'll hope to see lots of names on my leaving card, and I think the arrangements should be geared towards pleasing the leaver.

What we do is to pass the card round together with an envelope for contributions, so nobody is singled out if they can't afford to donate and everyone can sign the card.

Squeegle · 03/11/2014 20:35

I think that's a really bizarre way of looking at it. Surely a card goes round, you sign it to give your best wishes and contribute if you would like to . I would hate to feel someone wasn't signing my goodbye card if they didn't have £5 to spare.

usualsuspect333 · 03/11/2014 20:36

The card should be separate from the leaving present.

Everyone gets to sign the card regardless of whether they contributed to the gift.

usualsuspect333 · 03/11/2014 20:37

I've never worked anywhere, where you had to pay to sign the card.

Squeegle · 03/11/2014 20:41

Neither have I usual, and I've worked in quite a lot of places

indigo18 · 03/11/2014 20:41

But who pays for the card? If it comes out of the money collected, then they haven't contributed to the card, and everyone else has.

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 20:41

Ok, so do you normally present the card with the gift at the same time? I wasn't planning on putting a gift tag on the present, sounds daft sorry but genuinely wondered what was the norm, we are only a small team and this is the only collection we've done

OP posts:

MimiSunshine · 03/11/2014 20:41

So because they haven't contributed to the present they shouldn't be able to say 'sorry you're leaving' in the card?

That's rediculous and petty, oh and being bothered about it looking like the present came from all of you or not suggests that giving the present isn't altogether altruistic.

The card should be for everyone to sign and the collection for those who want / can contribute.

SolidGoldBrass · 03/11/2014 20:42

I think you need to get over yourself. Have you not got enough work to do or something? This sort of pissy, officious behaviour is what makes office life so utterly tiresome.

SilentAllTheseYears · 03/11/2014 20:45

I work very part time on minimum wage so I can't afford to pay in to collections, therefore I am not asked to sign the cards. When I was off having my DCs I didn't get a card or anything despite paying in to collections then, when I went back I was asked to pay into a collection for somebody having a baby but I declined, can't be bothered with it to be honest anyway even if I could afford it.

MimiSunshine · 03/11/2014 20:46

Beansprout, yes just hand them both over with a sorry you're leaving, we bought you a little something to say we'll miss you / help in you're new role etc.

Indigo, quibbling over contributions to a card... Really? Must remember to get 10p off everyone next time I buy one.

willowisp · 03/11/2014 20:49

I think don't pay, don't sign.

Perhaps the person DOESN'T want to sign ? Not everyone wants to participate.

If they come up & ask, then just say they can sign when they donate ?

Squeegle · 03/11/2014 20:49

Yup
Just what mimi said

BonzoDooDah · 03/11/2014 20:51

In all the largish places I've worked the card goes round in an envelope - people sign and put in what they can afford (anonymously). The money pays for a present and everyone stands round when the card is given with the present. So no tag and the assumption that most but not all people signed or contributed. Sometimes people are away, skint, missed the collection, whatever. It's not a personal slight not to.

The person is leaving and the aim is to make them feel happy and liked. So if more people sign the card then great.

I'm quite surprised at a "mandatory" £5 contribution. I'd only give that in a small office or if I really liked them.

So I'd just drop it - let them sign it or whatever, you've collected quite a bit of money and the leaver will be happy with the card.

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Pigmella · 03/11/2014 20:51

My point about school collections/cards... these are from the parents - NOT the children. Obviously all children sign the childrens card - regardless of anything. No one could be that mean.

We never gift tagged work presents. If you donated you signed the card. We did it so you put your money in and then immediately signed the card. Easy. Some people did like doing their own thing for presents at work... as they also do at school.

HappyYoni · 03/11/2014 20:52

I would let them sign and wouldn't think twice about it, as others have said the card is for people to express their good wishes, and cards are only a couple of quid, would you really get 20p or whatever from everyone so that they can sign the card??

unclerory · 03/11/2014 20:53

Card goes round in a large envelope so people can put in a contribution, however much or little they want. I'm always amazed at this 'you must pay X amount'. I work in a well paid industry but no-one would expect anyone to put in a set amount. How much I put into a collection depends how closely I've worked with them, if I'm their manager, how much change I have in my purse etc etc. i'd probably refuse to put money into a collection if it had to be £5 every time, we have collections all the time what with people getting married, having babies, leaving or retiring.

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