to feel so bloody relieved I've finally handed my notice in?

[NurseyWursey]

as my name suggests I'm a nurse.

If any of you have been on my threads lately you might know I suffer from depression and have for a while, but had a break down a few weeks ago and was unable to go into work.

I was asked to go to a disciplinary at work. Their view was I should have come in despite being signed off because they're shorted staffed they've obviously never seen a meltdown before.

So I walked in and handed my notice in.

immediately a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I still feel bad, but not the screamy on the floor, scared of opening the front door, wrap myself up a duvet and hide away 'bad'.

AIBU? Do you think I was right to or should I have handled it another way?

[Catnuzzle]

Congratulations! I think that was an excellent solution.

[theroseofwait]

No, you've done the right thing. I've done similar as I was diagnosed with depression in January and realised it was the pressure of work that was making me so unhappy. I (for the moment) am a teacher.

There's more to life than playing cowboys and indians with the current government and their ridiculous targets. You need to heal.

[Foxeym]

Yanbu, if it makes you feel better then you've done the right thing. Life's too short to be miserable!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Your reaction tells you the answer. The job was close to breaking you - no job is ever worth that.

Here's to day one of the rest of your life

[Emilycee]

You must feel immense relief nursey. YANBU!

I had a horrid work situation a few years ago, ended up with depression and anxiety due to a bastard horrible boss. As soon as I handed my notice in I felt better immediately. I was working in field sales at the time.

Will you stay in nursing do you think or look at doing something else?

[KateSpade]

I've just got a two week sick note from the doctor, i am still debating weather to go back tomorrow, but my employers have been horrendous with me about my epilepsy, so I'm kind of thinking 'ha, serves you right' at the moment. Bloody employers!

[weirdthing]

I used to be a teacher (a good one) and jacked it all in. The feeling was amazing! Well done :)

[ChickenFromHell]

Yanbu nursey

[Piercy]

I believe if you are signed off work by a Dr you are not insured and you have to have a "fit to work" certificate from the Dr to go back - but no job is worth the stress there is more to life - enjoy :o)

[Bambamb]

Ex midwife here who did the same. It wasn't worth making myself ill over. I've never regretted it, my only regret is going into it in the first place, I wish I'd picked something else.

Good luck & take care. X

[NurseyWursey]

Thankyou for your support everyone!

This is my chance to get myself better and finally healthy, I'm glad others feel I did the right thing too

[NurseyWursey]

katespade That's awful, I hope you find the way what's best for you. They should be far more understanding about epilepsy!

[sicily1921]

Firstly, good for you OP! If this has been right for you then go girl go!

Their view was I should have come in despite being signed off because they're shorted staffed hmm they've obviously never seen a meltdown before.

Ha ha typical unsympathetic management response (can you tell I am a nurse, in a job change at the minute). What , did they expect you'd be a valuable pair of hands in your meltdown state? I have had to work shifts with a sick (medical condition) nurse in charge of the ward, it was hell, I ended up looking after her and my patients, this happened regularly! But that's a different story. Was it the job that made you ill? Believe me, if you feel better then you done the right thing.

[mom2twoteens]

Hi, I handed my notice in recently as my daughter needed me at home more.

I was working in a hospital, I had spent years training for the job I was doing but when I resigned I suddenly realised what a weight had been lifted off me. My manager was lovely, but the bitching from some of the staff was unbearable. There was a small clique of awful people and then there was the rest of us at their mercy. It was an awful environment. What a relief to leave.

I'm skint now of course, working a couple of days at another hospital with a fantastic group of people. My daughter has been admitted to hospital now ironically, and because she has lost her place at college I get no Child Benefit or tax credits. So quite skint.

Nursey, I hope you take time to recover (I hope you can afford the time off work) and then I hope you find yourself something you enjoy doing.

Good Luck

Also as Piercy said, you shouldn't be in work if you've been signed off. Kate, stay away and recover, they can sort out work you look after yourself.

[NurseyWursey]

sicily1921

Exactly they don't have a clue do they? When I meltdown I can't even speak properly let alone be responsible for another human being. I completely understand that staff sickness can cripple a company, but one member of staff off sick for a valid reason should be acceptable, there should be enough staff to allow for it - but they don't do it that way do they. that would make too much sense

mom2tweens That must be really difficult for you, I hope things get better for you and your daughter x

[oldwomaninashoe]

Some years ago I had quite a nice job and I would have been very happy if my co-worker had not been such a lazy bullying bitch.
(I would go home at night and cry about my situation)
I complained (very diplomatically) to my line manager, who was her best friend, and of course got nowhere.
I put in my notice without having another job to go to....

The relief!!!!

Well done to you, no job is ever worth it.

[NurseyWursey]

I'm tremendously lucky to have a partner who has supported me both emotionally and financially, I don't know how I'd cope without him. It's such a relief to not have a partner who would have been making me worry about bills etc on top of everything.

I do definitely want to go back to work in the near future, but I think I'll just let myself relax for a bit. I've got more mental health stuff and therapy to do yet so this is the perfect time

I'm also thinking about becoming a HCA again. It seems like I'm taking a step backwards but I prefer that to the stress of being a nurse on a busy ward. I can actually do what I feel I want to do now, engage with people and help them more

[JennyBendy]

Well done. Now phone a local solicitor specialising in employment and ask them to review your situation as your employer has mistreated you as a result of your ill health and it sounds like you may well have a claim for constructive dismissal. They've behaved disgracefully.

[scarletforya]

You can do them for constructive dismissal now!

[NurseyWursey]

jennybendy I've not even thought about that, it completely skipped over my mind! I think I will yes. I really don't want this happening to someone else either who might not have the support I do.

One of our managers was off sick for two weeks with the flu, when she came back she was handed flowers and cards etc

I end up with a disciplinary letter sent to my door

:(

it's not on

[Meerkatwhiskers]

I got taken to disciplinary once over sickness (due to depression and chronic migraines). I handed my notice in instead and the gave me garden leave so I left that day. Weeks later I was starting my access course and now am less than 6 months from being a qualified nurse. I am scared shitless of qualifying but hey ho. Lol.

I was born to do this not work in that shitty office under the migraine triggering fluorescent lights (yes the hospital has them too! Lol but I have a great preventative now).

[Meerkatwhiskers]

Ps good for you!

[NurseyWursey]

Well done you meerkat

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Jenny
I wouldn't necessarily recommend going down the constructive dismissal route. Not because Nursey has no entitlement but because it can keep the wound open and stop the healing process. DH left his last job after being assaulted and developing PTSD and his employers were unsupportive and awful. He did start taking action against them but I think it really hindered his recovery because it kept him trapped in a dialogue with the very people who had failed to support him in the first place.

Financially we could manage without his income so walking away would have been the better option for his MH.

[Allergictoironing]

As a pp said above, if you are signed off then the company insurance doesn't cover you; I wanted to go back to work early after an injury a few years ago & was told by my employer I wasn't permitted to come in until the current certificate had run out.

Any guys out there with more employment law knowledge able to advise on whether this could be a case to sue for constructive dismissal? Quote from Wikipedia
^In United Kingdom law, constructive dismissal is defined by the Employment Rights Act 1996 section 95(1)c:[2]
The employee terminates the contract under which he is employed (with or without notice) in circumstances in which he is entitled to terminate it without notice by reason of the employer's conduct.
The circumstances in which an employee is entitled are defined in common law. The notion of constructive dismissal most often arises from a fundamental breach of the term of trust and confidence implied in all contracts of employment. In order to avoid such a breach "[a]n employer must not, without reasonable or proper cause, conduct himself in a manner calculated or likely to destroy or seriously damage the relationship of trust and confidence between the employer and the employee."[3] Whilst a breach can be of the implied term of trust and confidence, a fundamental breach of any of the express or implied terms of a contract of employment is sufficient.^

I'm pretty sure that when I did a health & safety course a while back, quitting because an employer tried to insist on breaches of H&S law did come under constructive dismissal.