Valentines & a row!

[skyblu]

Hi, haven't been on here for years, but really need a sounding board...

Husband did something on Monday which made me furious. Had a bit of row, haven;t been speaking, he totally knows how mad I am. Long story and deep, not a quick thing that will 'blow over'.
Wednesday, he comes home from work very early with a bouquet of my favourite flowers for Valentines Day. I asked why he is home so early and he said he needed to get the to florist to pick the flowers up before they closed.
I told him he is 2 days early but he said he'll prob be busy on Friday might not be able to get out.

1. Is it actually really sweet that he got them early to ensure he could get them (& he knows he is in the wrong, trying to butter me up quicker)
   

OR

1. Is it even worse that he gets them two days early incase he's 'too busy' on valentines day...knows how to make a girl feel special...not! Last of the old romantics!
   

I'm feeling 2....but wondering if I'm overlooking 1/being harsh.

How would you feel?

[YellowDinosaur]

Honestly? I think you're being massively high maintenance and should be thanking him for the lovely flowers not reading negative things into them.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Neither.

It solely depends on whether the actual argument can be resolved.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

If it was my DH I would be going with option 1.

If he knows he has a busy day on Friday then he is making sure that he doesn't disappoint you/let you down.

It all depends what the row was though, and whether he is generally a decent guy and a good husband, or whether the row was one in a long line and he is an arse.

Only you know which it is!

[Electryone]

Flowers are irrelevant really as Laurie said.

[skyblu]

Hmm...maybe I should've told you what he did to me to make me so mad. But its such a long story.
I'm not a high maintenance person...generally.
But happy to accept all opinions......keep em coming

[YellowDinosaur]

Yes, it is possible that the whole story would change my opinion but I can obviously only go on what you have posted!

[CuttingOutTheCrap]

Ali is right. If it were my Dh I'd think it was lovely he went early to get me flowers, and be sympathetic that he had to work late on the Friday. But it really depends on what your row was about, how your relationship is generally etc

[justmyview]

Re the flowers, I'd go for Option 1 and give him the benefit of the doubt

If it's part of an apology / trying to be nice, I'd give him credit for that, but if he did something so terrible, then it'll take more than flowers to make up for it

[SeaSickSal]

I think you have to say what it was. Because at the moment YABU.

It gives the impression that if you get cross over this the argument could have been trivial too, except for in your mind.

[Mckayz]

I'd be happy he had got them early as he knows he'll probably be busy. Better than getting nothing at all.

[Hawkmoth]

Busy constructive or busy pissing it up without you?

[Bluemonkeyspots]

I'm too nosy and need to know what you argued about

[maras2]

If he did something so bad that you're still not very happy then no amount of Valentine's stuff will help. However if you can still be a mardy arse after his attempt to be nice you both should grow up and talk. Good luck.

[HoneyDragon]

If you don't know whether the flowers are an apology or just because it's the done thing than you still need to talk.

[bodygoingsouth]

what did he do? obviously we can't judge if you don't tell.

[WitchWay]

He was a bit daft saying they were for Valentine's Day - they ought to have just been a lovely gift or an apology or whatever. He ought then to have got something else for V's Day - wine, chocs, whatever & given them to you tomorrow. Men!

[Puttheshelvesup]

Have you not been speaking to him, him to you, or is it a mutual not speaking? It sounds a very sulky and passive aggressive. Maybe he's trying to move forward with the dispute?

[dreamingbohemian]

What is he doing Friday?

Without more info it could be either 1 or 2

[BillyBanter]

I think with regards to resolving the argument then flowers sooner rather than later is better. What would you think if you weren't talking for several days then he gave you flowers on Valentines day. You could work that up into a thing too.

Who knows. It's not really much to go on.


I'd say them important thing is to to keep talking and resolve the argument rather than worry about Valentines day.

[Fairenuff]

We need to know what he did that upset you. And what his doing instead of seeing you on Friday.

[MaryWestmacott]

I think it's nice he was aware he might have to let you down on Valentines day, he's thought about it two days in advance and rather than risk it, has gone with getting the flowers early rather than risking having to get them late.

So, what did he do to piss you off to justify being still prickly about it 3 days later?

[NewtRipley]

I think It All Depends

[NewtRipley]

I don't think rows should fester on for 3 days though. Valentines is neither here nor there, IMO. It only seems to cause stress for people who are already having problems

[Only1scoop]

To be honest I can't myself stand the tackiness of v day, however I can sort of see where you are coming from.

Either he knows they get more expensive on the actual day so he thought he'd get it covered early.

There's an atmosphere and he thought the flowers would lift it

[LyndaCartersBigPants]

I think it's a good thing that he's got you the flowers early. Being a couple of days early is fine, who says he can only be romantic on that particular date?

My ex would always say he hadn't had time to get a card/flowers etc as he'd been at work that day. I would point out that he'd had 364 days to make something happen!

The fact that your h has preempted being unable to pick them up on the day shows a level of thoughtfulness and consideration for which many would be grateful.