My 4yo DS has always been shy. He hates meeting new people and can't stand being the centre of attention, which usually manifests in him throwing a tantrum. Since he has started school his behaviour has improved quite a lot, to the point where he was ok going up on stage for his schools christmas concert and sing a few songs without any major incident.
However, his behaviour when out in public with him is still a huge source of embarrassment for me. Whenever he is addressed by anyone (doesn't matter what age they are) he will refuse to look at them or respond in any way. If they continue talking to him he will either continue ignoring them or on occasions look at me and say something like "I don't want that lady to talk to me" or give them a Damien-from-the-Omen-like death stare. He will do this even with people he meets fairly regularly, like casual acquaintances of mine or other mums from school. With my close friends whom he sees regularly he is absolutely fine.
The thing is, I know exactly how he feels as I'm also quite shy and don't feel comfortable in social situations. However, I know by constantly saying things like oh I'm sorry he's having a bad day or he's really tired today I've allowed this behaviour to continue. As a result, I know many of the people who meet him and a lot of our wider circle think he is rude and generally not a very nice child. It makes me so sad as I know he really is a friendly, happy and really affectionate little boy and I know I've failed him by not teaching him to overcome his barriers. Those of my friends who know him well love him to bits but it has taken them a long time to build up a relationship with him and they were usually successful by generally ignoring him for ages until he was ready to approach them, which is what works best for him.
Im really at a loss as to how to teach him to be at least polite in public. Ive recently started to talk to him about it and tried to explain what I would like him to do and why (in basic terms, obviously), but to no real success.
I'm really hoping for some practical advice or tips on strategies I could use to teach him! Anybody who has been there and dealt with this successfully I would be endlessly grateful for your suggestions!
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To think I need to stop making excuses for my 4yo Ds's rude behaviour in public
68 replies
justkeeponsmiling · 17/12/2013 18:15
OP posts:
DoYouLikeMyBaubles ·
17/12/2013 18:30
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