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to send DH up the loft? He thinks he'll be murdered.

(63 Posts)
Annagramma Sun 20-Oct-13 17:50:56

There is some scratching in the loft.

I've asked him to put the (humane) traps up their. Armed him with peanut butter to tempt the mice/rats/mutants out.

He says he will discover the scratching is actually a murderwr and I will eventually come upstairs to find him dead in the attic. hmm He's taller and fitter, I can't climb up ladders, I can waddle (40wks pregnant) and I think this is a good enough reason to not go up there.


WestmorlandSausage Sun 20-Oct-13 17:53:05

someone watched too much Luther

Has he been watching [REC]? grin

AgentZigzag Sun 20-Oct-13 17:54:57

Onset of Zombie Apocalypse.

For sure.

Grennie Sun 20-Oct-13 17:55:16

He will be fine.

Now if he was a teenage cheerleader wearing a short skirt, a low cut top and carrying a dodgy torch.....well he would be a goner for sure.

Chippednailvarnish Sun 20-Oct-13 17:55:53

As long as he has life insurance, get him up there!

Bearfrills Sun 20-Oct-13 17:56:19

Even though I believe in feminism and equality and that there are no men's jobs vs women's jobs - investigating noises is definitely a DH job.

There's many a time DH has been shoved out of our bedroom door clad in only his boxers, armed with a hairbrush, to investigate a noise I've probably imagined heard.


BatmanLovesIckyBarry Sun 20-Oct-13 17:56:30

Annagramma is an excellent username.

If he is brutally murdered by an axe murderer sheltering from the rozzers, praps you could get some kind of Take A Break / That's Life kind of deal <looks on bright side>

BillyBanter Sun 20-Oct-13 17:59:13

Is he the main protagonist? I'd get someone in a non-speaking role to take a look. Maybe a neighbour.

Annagramma Sun 20-Oct-13 17:59:15

Hmm. He has cheered up as, I hope, he has never worn a short skirt , a low cut top or similar. We do have a dodgy torch though.

Like the sound of the Take A Break deal.

He's going to go up now.

AgentZigzag Sun 20-Oct-13 18:00:44

grin at the thought of your DH aggressively brushing the intruders hair Bears grin

Get him to check the water tank while he's up there, scrotes always stash their cash/drugs/weapons in them. (useful for the post-apocalyptic world)

whatareyoueventalkingabout Sun 20-Oct-13 18:02:07

tell him that if there is a mannequin behind some plastic covering, that it's probably best to run rather than wonder what it is.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 20-Oct-13 18:05:33

Anna at 40weeks you ain't going to fit through the loft hatch wink

DH need to go up, and he can get the Hallowe'en stuff sorted out while he's there, especially the life-sized clown doll...........................

What, you don't HAVE a life-sized clown doll?


sapfu Sun 20-Oct-13 18:05:39

He thinks it's a murderer.

Why is he so sure? I would be very suspicious that he's not been keeping a murderer in the attic, and now it's got antsy.

Annagramma Sun 20-Oct-13 18:08:38

Oh yes, I remember the clown story.

Im updating to say he's still up there. I can hear some bumbling around. Is it the killer or him? I'm not that frightened of a murderer, at the moment I would easily kill someone by sitting on them.

londonrach Sun 20-Oct-13 18:10:53

Sometimes a man needs to be a man...... Hope dh is okay but so would send own dh on similar trip. X

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 20-Oct-13 18:10:58

My dh has been in and out of our attic all weekend. He's laying multimedia cables all round the house which involves pushing them down through the walls and then connecting them up to a server in the attic.

He bloody loves it up there. He'll have a look for you. I'll send him round.

Or has the clown got your dh?

MrsBramleyApple Sun 20-Oct-13 18:11:21

My first thought was Luther too! Here's hoping your husband's head doesn't appear through the ceiling anytime soon......... wink

sapfu Sun 20-Oct-13 18:12:01

Well murderers don't usually bumble. They more leap and grab.

Unless the murderer is Mr Tumble. He bumbles but I don't think he has any homicidal tendencies so it's probably just your dh, sneaking about, terrified of a wee mousie.

I hope.

HereComesHoneyBooBooDragon Sun 20-Oct-13 18:13:26

Point out to him

Scary axe murderer vs over tired overly pregnant woman has only one out come

Scared, rapidly fleeing axe murderer.

Now send him up the ladder with his peanut butter.

YouveCatToBeKittenMe Sun 20-Oct-13 18:17:17

My dh went up into the loft last week to investigate why the power had tripped off

he found a leaking pipe and lots of water damage (which explained why DS's light had been flickering and wouldn't turn off the night before shock)

in his effort to fix said leak he accidentally knocked a can of emulsion paint out of the loft which expoded all over the landing and into DS's not at all very tidy bedroom.

it was rather a stressful event
I would suggest your DH hires a loft-loving cat and stays safely downstairs

LadyFlumpalot Sun 20-Oct-13 18:17:28

It could be this terrifying beast

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 20-Oct-13 18:17:40

one handed typing here, got the lairey guinea-pig in a half nelson.

shout up - neville are you okay

but obviously choose a different name to your dh.

if he replied - who the heck is neville hmm then he's safe

if he replies - fine dear.....then you know it's not him, he's toast.

ScarletLady02 Sun 20-Oct-13 18:17:50

When we moved into our house we tried to open the loft only to discover it had been nailed shut.....FROM THE INSIDE!!

We kept hearing weird m oaning sounds at night when we were in bed...we were proper freaked out (yes...we've seen [REC])

Turns out the noise was the old man next door blowing his nose (we heard him in the garden one day).

Still can't work out how the loft is nailed shut that way though...

LimitedEditionLady Sun 20-Oct-13 18:21:00

Make him.a cuppa for being brave,best make two incase the murderer wants one though.i wonder is murderers take sugar?

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