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AIBU re treatment by GP?

(100 Posts)
Wildwaterfalls Wed 21-Aug-13 17:19:30

I am in floods of tears so possibly not quite in the right shape for AIBU, but I need to know if I am overreacting.

DD (12 months) has developed a rash which has been getting worse and worse over the past 24 hours. First red spots on her bottom and tights, but spreading to other parts of her body. Called 111 earlier today who advised that as she had no other symptoms, watch and wait, but seek medical advice if it got worse.

We were out this afternoon when I noticed the rash being more blister-like and prominent. I also remembered a sign I saw this morning re chicken pox at her nursery. Anyway, I decided to pop into the GP surgery on the way home. Asked for an appointment today or tomorrow. Was told the duty doctor could phone me. Said I'd already sought medical advice on the phone, and would like someone to look at her. Was told the doctor could see me although it might be a bit of a wait. I said great, thanks.

Was then seen by GP who was brusque and rude from the beginning. Showed him the rash which he described as "a bit like hand, foot and mouth, but not quite, possibly a viral infection", and indicated the appointment was over. Being a first time mum this doesn't mean much to me so I asked "so does that mean it is nothing to worry about?". He said, angrily "well, what were you worrying about to begin with?". I said "I'm a first time mum and my baby has a rash all over her body, so I thought she might be ill". "Does she have any symptoms of illness other than the rash?", "no", I said, and he said "Well, come back if she gets those". By now I was more or less in tears because of his manner, and said "I'm really sorry if I have wasted your time, I didn't realise a rash was nothing to worry about without other symptoms". Rather than accepting my apology he said "well, we don't offer a walk-in service" and stood up to show me out.

I was crying by this point but went to reception to get his name (he had only been described to me as the duty doctor), and left.

Now AIBU to be so upset? I know I was being PFB and inexperienced but shouldn't doctors treat you better than this? I did't insist on being seen as I walk-in, I just refused a phone consultation as I didn't think there was any point and asked for an appointment today or tomorrow.

And if you think IANBU, would you complain? I kind of want to but this is out practice and I don't want to be seen as the difficult patient who complains.... even thought I know that is week.

Sorry this is so long. brew for lasting this long

Wildwaterfalls Wed 21-Aug-13 17:21:45

sorry for typos.

*our practice


storminabuttercup Wed 21-Aug-13 17:21:53

The doctor was out of order!

When DS had CP he had no other symptoms.

Did they give you the doctors name?

diddl Wed 21-Aug-13 17:25:44

Ooh-a rash with no other symptoms?

Let me see-CP in my PFB!!

Measles in my PSB-and she'd had the MMR!

quesadilla Wed 21-Aug-13 17:25:46

I don't think you were being PFB. We are always being told to get rashes checked out.

Even if you were it wouldn't have justified that behaviour. However overworked doctors are there's no excuse for being scornful to a woman concerned about her child's welfare.

I would make a complaint.

runningonwillpower Wed 21-Aug-13 17:26:35

You are not being unreasonable.

I think that some doctors sometimes forget that they are not doing us a favour. They are in paid employment to help people who have health concerns.

He's a git. But having said that I would probably let it go.

Hope your baby is better.

Wildwaterfalls Wed 21-Aug-13 17:27:03

Yes, they did give me the name.

I am really not easily upset / don't cry much and part of my is just angry with myself for losing my composure in this situation.

Tee2072 Wed 21-Aug-13 17:35:15

Complain. Ring and ask to speak to the Practice Manager and tell them you want to complain about Dr X.

There is no call to speak to you like that. And who cares if 'you're the mum who complains'?

Tee2072 Wed 21-Aug-13 17:35:43

Sorry, lost a sentence somehow...then follow up the call with a letter with what you said and the PM said.

FirstStopCafe Wed 21-Aug-13 17:41:31

YANBU. This makes me really cross. My sister had a similar experience with a gp when my niece had a cough. It ended up being pretty serious. Hope you and your daughter are okay

onlyfortonight Wed 21-Aug-13 17:43:42

Complain to the Practice Manager...he was totally out of order.

Not only are you not being PFB, your child had a rash and you felt uncertain...but even if your dr was having a shit day, never ending demands on his time etc etc, he shouldn't take this out on you. How the practice organises and supports emergency/duty doctor appointments is the issue, not the medical problems of the poor patients.

Has this experience coloured your view of speaking openly and honestly to a doctor about your concerns? Will you be slower to ask for support and advice the next time you or a member of your family is ill? Do you feel that all doctors are likely to be just as dismissive of your concerns?

If you answer yes to any of these questions then what this doctor has done is breach the trust we all must place in the health professionals that we must interact with. Not only your trust in him, but with all health professionals.

The UK has one of the highest rates of terminal cancer in Europe. Many people have asked why that is? There is evidence to suggest it is because we present to our GP later than other nations. Why? Because the Doctor is busy/overworked/stressed. Because I'm sure it is nothing to worry about - my concerns are invalid and I will be wasting my Doctor's time. Because my trust in the medical profession has been breached by a Doctor before, and now I can't face going to the GP to sort this out.

Any of this familiar to you?

He was unprofessional, uncaring and unworthy of the respect society places in him.


Pilgit Wed 21-Aug-13 17:49:10

Totally unacceptable behaviour from the doc. And the other symptom thing -mine are ridiculously stoic and you wouldn't see them unless you were really looking. This is how dd1 ended up with a chest ear and throat infection, and an infection in her nether region caused by a yeast problem. Symptoms - rash in nappy area, sleeping more than usual and a bit of a temperature. Other wise happy and content. Thankfully my doc took me seriously. If you're still worried get a second opinion. And definitely complain!

JackNoneReacher Wed 21-Aug-13 17:49:20

Even though i would never have taken a baby with symptoms like you just described i still think he was rude and unprofessional and would complain. He shouldn't be speaking to a paying customer like that.

Pilgit Wed 21-Aug-13 17:54:23

Ps, all docs at my surgery takr the view that anything with children gets priority. We never have to wait more than a couple of hours. This is because they see that children get worse quickly and as they are less able to communicate something could be serious when it isn't immediately obvious. This is how it should be. I have never been made to feel like I have wasted their time.

MisselthwaiteManor Wed 21-Aug-13 17:56:13

Yes definitely complain he was completely out of order. And don't let him put you off taking your daughter back there in the future. I've been to the GP with my PFB over the smallest things and the doctor is always kind and I'm always embarrassed and apologise but they say they're always willing to see a baby!

Wildwaterfalls Wed 21-Aug-13 18:10:01

Thanks all. Yes, apart from anything else I still don't feel I have a clear answer on what might be the matter with DD. I can't get an appointment with her own GP (also at that practice) until next week. Will wait and see for a bit, but if it gets worse I will go back sooner.

Have drafted a letter but will 'cool down' for a day or so and look at it again.

WeleaseWodger Wed 21-Aug-13 18:11:18

Horrible. I had 3 different GPs scrutinising a rash on my little one once. No other symptoms but chicken pox was going round and I had never had it as a child. None of them thought it was a waste of their time.

commsgirl Wed 21-Aug-13 18:12:39

YADNBU. Speak to the practice manager and if you're unsatisfied ask for the number for PALS.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 21-Aug-13 18:13:50

Good post onlyfortonight

Fifi2406 Wed 21-Aug-13 18:17:12

I'm pretty sure a lot of doctors don't like other human beings! You're not being unreasonable or precious! You should complain!!! my son had whooping cough last year and we were treated horrendously by some of the doctors at my surgery and I didn't complain with lack of sleep and him suffering so badly I never got round to it wish I had complained now as nothing changes if we don't voice these things!

Official letter and have a biscuit or two!

Playdoughcaterpillar Wed 21-Aug-13 18:19:02

I am a GP and would never speak to a mum like this, you should complain otherwise management will not know there is a problem with one of the staff and it will be someone else tomorrow.

Eilidhbelle Wed 21-Aug-13 18:20:11

Complain. I hate this. My GPs surgery (although not my GP, who is awesome) treat me like it's a massive inconvenience to them that I'm ill. It really puts you off phoning for an appointment, which I suppose is the point. Even getting a repeat px out of them involves eye-rolling and sighing (from them, not from me) and talking to me like I'm stupid. Sorry, n

Eilidhbelle Wed 21-Aug-13 18:20:50

Stupid phone.

Sorry, not really the point of your OP but I'm had my fill of them recently.

candycoatedwaterdrops Wed 21-Aug-13 18:22:52

YADNBU. She's a baby and it was a rash, you were right to get it checked out.

Lilicat1013 Wed 21-Aug-13 18:25:06

My son had a rash with no other symptoms, I took him to the doctors and he was rushed to the hospital with suspected meningitis (luckily he didn't have it, they think it was some autoimmune thing).

You definitely should complain, they can't check a rash over the phone.

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