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Wibu to complain about this waitress?

(162 Posts)
HeffalumpTheFlump Sat 27-Jul-13 20:32:22

Dh thinks I shouldn't have complained, I think I definitely should have, who's right?

Went to a Toby carvery, meal was fine and service by the waitress fine until we finished the meal (they don't do much as its a buffet thing). We then obviously wanted the bill so I tried to get the waitress' attention. When she came near the table I made eye contact twice to try and get her to come over. She smiled and looked away then left. Next time she came near I made eye contact and raised my hand, nothing. I ended up getting up and walking over to her at another table and standing waiting for her to finish with them then asking.

We waited another 10 minutes for her to bring the bill. Dh had the card in his hand, and she had the card machine in hers, but before we could ask to use it she had gone. She just put the bill on the table and walked straight off. I then started the rediculous process of trying to get her attention again, I even stood up and called out excuse me after three or four failed attempts. She completely ignored us. This had been going on for another ten minutes.

Finally I managed to get her attention and asked for the card machine, waited another five or so minutes and she came back with it. Dh didn't want me to say anything, but I seriously couldn't stop myself. I was tired and wanted to go home, not play this rediculous game of catch the waitress.

I said that I had been trying to get her attention for ages, that we had wanted to pay by card and she had the machine etc and that it had taken a rediculous amount of time to get the bill sorted.

Her reply: "Well I do have a lot of other customers to attend to, I didn't see or hear you." No apology, and then she just walked off once the payment had gone through. IMO the only acceptable response to this sort of complaint is surely an apology?? I feel it's her job to be attentive to her customers needs, and she had seen plenty of times that we had finished our meals and would obviously need to sort the bill.

Dh thinks I shouldn't have complained and that it would have been enough to simply not leave her a tip. Obviously I don't agree. Aibu?

Actually I wasnt refering to the op so much...

HeffalumpTheFlump Mon 29-Jul-13 18:45:19

Thanks cornflake. I promise I really was polite! I don't think there is any situation that negates the need for politeness and manners. smile

cornflakegirl Mon 29-Jul-13 14:09:19

YourMa - there is no suggestion that the OP was anything but polite. She didn't click her fingers, she tried to make eye contact, she tried to attract attention with a hand in the air, and then she went over to where the waitress was. I'm sure you do get some horribly rude customers, but the OP wasn't one of them. And she deserved acknowledgment of, and probably an apology for, the fact that she was kept waiting for somewhere in the region of 30 minutes to pay the bill. She didn't get good service, and the fact that it might not have been the waitress' fault and that she may have been serving other customers really well doesn't negate the need for an apology to the OP.

I love the assumption that because its a carvery the waiter/ess isn't that busy. grin

The carvery is the selling point, main attraction etc etc but its also a restaurant. We have a menu for those not into all things meaty or who fancy something different, we do desserts, we have a bar, tea, coffee and not to mention all the 1001 other things none waitressy we are expected to do. Warming babyfood, bottles, calling taxis, being a human A-Z, helping the elderly or infirm to get their food (takes a long time, gets me in trouble for keeping others waiting even though leaving them to their own devices would cause a bigger delay in the long run oh and not too mention because I'm nice and LIKE helping old ladies). We also listen to your dad's or dh's shit jokes, smile politely when you complain about your stuffing balls and clean up the monstrous mess that you'd never make in your own home but find perfectly acceptable to leave here because you paid £5 and a voucher cut out of the South Manchester reporter for the privilege. We're human we make mistakes. Tips are nice but I don't lose sleep over them. If you frequent your local Toby rather often then be nice to your waitress. We can give out free ice cream and coffees where we feel its appropriate... Sometimes its very appropriate. Click your fingers or bark at me then its not appropriate I just fall over you carrying some to the next table. Kidding! Sometimes there is no next table.

cornflakegirl Mon 29-Jul-13 12:17:52

I don't think you were being unreasonable. I actually think it's much more unreasonable not to complain. How does the waitress know the difference between someone who never tips and someone who feels they have had bad service if you don't tell her. In your situation, I would actually email the restaurant as well. If their standard process (paying at the table) is causing a problem for their customers, and apparently for their staff too, they need to know about it. If something annoys you enough that you would consider not returning, then give them a chance to fix it. (Of course, if they don't, because it's an intrinsic part of their business model or they just can't be bothered, that's up to them.)

mignonette Mon 29-Jul-13 11:41:53

God forbid that serving staff should be courteous and learn to control their own temper/irritation/ or address their inability to understand what the term 'service industry' means.


ImperialBlether Mon 29-Jul-13 11:34:33

What makes you think it was short staffed? The waitress was hanging around with nothing to do but ignore the OP's requests.

Southeastdweller Sun 28-Jul-13 21:39:52

I think the place was short-staffed and she was in a bad mood. I've waited on many tables and she should have told her manager if she couldn't cope as well as come over to you and sad something like "I'm sorry to keep you waiting but I'll be with you as soon as I can". Maybe her training was piss poor. What I found truly appalling is that she didn't apologise when you confronted her. At that point I would have asked to see the manager unless I was seriously pressed for time. Her attitude stinks.

So YANBU. Too many people accept crap customer service in this country and I don't know why.

guiltyconscience Sun 28-Jul-13 20:02:03

she's just an arse take no notice of the silly girl x

kali110 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:59:53

Seriously hate iphones. Worst thing i have ever bought

kali110 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:59:11

Meant to say wasnt busy. I may start an aibu thread about smasjing up my i

kali110 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:58:31

As i used to be a waitress its unfair to assume she was busy. If we we looked bit empty people would assume we werent busy not having any idea how busy we were behind the doors!id she had been ignoring you on purpose that would have been unacceptable but it doesn't sound like she was, just that she was trying to serve her others customers!if you had called her straight away you probably would have been served quicker,

ComposHat Sun 28-Jul-13 18:50:39

I'm sorry you've taken it like that but it really wasn't. Please don't tell me what I didn't and didn't intend.

Especially when I at no point called you a dickhead.

HugAMoo Sun 28-Jul-13 18:50:38

Angel I know, I know. I sounded rather uncouth myself grin

HeffalumpTheFlump Sun 28-Jul-13 18:48:13

Looking back over the thread it seems there are quite a few other posters who would be ticked off about it, so i don't feel like such an almighty hormonal bitch. grin I will however definitely pay at the till if the situation were to come up again!!

HeffalumpTheFlump Sun 28-Jul-13 18:44:25

So composhat when angel questioned you calling me a dickhead for asking for the bill, why did you say this:

"No someone who had no understanding of the fact that the waitress had other customers to attend to as well and that in a busy restaurant she may have to wait to be served."

Ie, I wasnt an 'ill mannered dickhead' for asking for the bill, but I was for the above.

Sorry whether you used the plural or not, it was definitely aimed at me, or anyone else who would react the same way in my position.

ComposHat Sun 28-Jul-13 18:35:01

Heffalump reread my first comment, I didn't vapl you a dickhead, ot was a comment on the amount of shite that lowly paid service staff have to deal with from customers who all want serving at the same time and get uppity and all consideration for the waiting staff goes out the windo, not aimed at you personally. ..hence dickheads plural.

nooka Sun 28-Jul-13 18:27:43

Looking at the OP, Heffalump says she tried eight times to get the waitress to come over so they could pay the bill and leave, and the whole process took more than half an hour. Seems reasonable enough to make a direct complaint to the waitress about it and as the waitress didn't then apologize or even acknowledge that she had seen the OP trying to engage her perfectly appropriate not leave a tip.

It wouldn't have cost the waitress anything to have said sorry (normal customer service surely), or to let the OP know that another time she could have paid elsewhere. Perhaps she might have got the tip then?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sun 28-Jul-13 18:11:17

And sorry but it is illmannered and somewhat dickheadish to take the piss out of someone's spelling.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sun 28-Jul-13 18:09:48

Only on AIBU would someone criticise you for..gasp..repeatedly trying to get the bill.


Angelfootprints Sun 28-Jul-13 18:05:17

"HugAMoo Sun 28-Jul-13 16:32:14

I personally cannot stand keyboard warriors who use Internet forums to call other's names. How very uncouth, compo shat"

Ha ha! Got to the love irony Hugamoo! I know it was a typo.... but very, very funny!

HeffalumpTheFlump Sun 28-Jul-13 17:47:09

Malcolm - I don't think picking on people's spelling or calling someone a dickhead is ok fwiw.

MalcolmTuckersMum Sun 28-Jul-13 16:34:54

And another thing - before I spontaneously combust hmm - I get called a prat by some child person yet it's ok for another poster to be shouting 'ill mannered dickhead' at the OP? Right. Just so I understand the rules! grin

HugAMoo Sun 28-Jul-13 16:33:20

Oops. Damn auto correct. composhat

MalcolmTuckersMum Sun 28-Jul-13 16:32:37

Madamecastafiore - Indeed it should be MalcolmTucker'sMum but sadly you're not allowed punctuation marks in the nickname line.......t'is agony for an uptight pedant such as oneself!

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