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DH threatening to leave me if I get my hair cut

(99 Posts)
Bilpbip Tue 18-Jun-13 09:22:47

Okay I'm pretty sure I'm not being unreasonable about this.

DH loves my hair long, very long, it is thick and wavy and in great condition. The problem is that I hate it. I have an active, physical job so I spend most days with my heavy hair in a pony tail to keep it out of my face. It takes three days to dry after a wash and I never have the time nor the inclination to style it.

So last year I got it cut into a shortish bob style. OMG, I love my hair like this grin its light and easy and I never have to tie it up. DH said on the very first day that he hated it angry

This morning I mentioned in passing that I intend to go to the hairdresser later and he said thats fine but if I cut it any shorter he will leave! I'm pretty sure he is not serious but I'm still really angry with him.

Honestly my hair looks great in this style! I'm going to get it cut anyway and I'm tempted to test him and get it scalped grin

AnyFucker Tue 18-Jun-13 10:55:00


Seenitall Tue 18-Jun-13 11:00:36

I think that you should have your exactly as you please, however, you have obviously have had long hair for quite some time and take it from someone who has had short hair for the larger part of their life, it will take you at least a year maybe 18 months to grow a chin long bob (all one length) and you will have to suffer every horrific in between helmet head hair style whilst you do. The compliments on your new short hair are great but they tend to only last a few weeks...

WallaceWindsock Tue 18-Jun-13 11:01:36

I have very very thick hair which takes days to dry fully if I have it up and I never blow dry it. My mum hates it long. Once at 16 I asked her to take 2inches off my almost waist length hair. She chopped it all off into a bob just below my ears. I cried for weeks.

DP likes it long but not as long as I've got it now. Tough. I love my hair and it is a statement of my personality. I dress quite uniquely and my hair is a big part of that look. DP never comments, even tells me it looks nice even though I know he'd prefer it shorter. That's because he loves me and respects my right to make choices about my own body.

ParadiseChick Tue 18-Jun-13 11:33:48

So what's to the point in hair so long you keep it tied up and its damp all the time? Sounds rank actually. I have long thick hair, about bra strap length. I let it dry naturally but wear it down, it's cut in a style. I've never understood long just for the sake of being long hair. Frizzy ends and all. Gives me the heeby jeebies!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Tue 18-Jun-13 11:39:43

Since you say it's a joke I would just take it as such. He prefers you with long hair. I wouldn't mind if my DH had a view as to what haircut suits me best as long as he didn't think he had any real say in it.

Samu2 Tue 18-Jun-13 11:48:21

I have my hair short because it's the only way I can manage my thick and fuzzy hair. I would love to be able to have long hair though.

My husband had long hair when we met for years, I loved it and when he said he was going to cut it I was really upset! Sounds stupid I know but I was. Funnily enough when he did cut it I was amazed by how even more handsomer he looked.

As long as your H said it is a jokingly way then no big deal.

My hair, my choice but I do always ask his opinion, mainly because I am always unsure of what will suit me.

KellyElly Tue 18-Jun-13 11:51:32

Tell him you'll dump him when he starts going bald. He can start saving for the hair transplant now grin

SunRaysthruClouds Tue 18-Jun-13 11:51:33

Ah, there's nothing like a 'I want to get my haircut the way I want it and DH doesn't like it' thread to bring out the calls of 'Controlling, LTB'.

As a bloke of course I think you are being VU.

What if your H decided to get a green mohican? (assuming he has hair of course)

Whoknowswhocares Tue 18-Jun-13 12:21:36

Hmm now that IS an idea. Tell him that unless he gets a green Mohican then you are leaving him!

wigglesrock Tue 18-Jun-13 12:33:13

Do you know in 20 years of being with my husband I don't think I've ever discussed my hair with my husband. I get it done how I want, he notices and that's that.

He has asked if I've had a slightly different colour but he has actually never discussed a preference.

To be honest Id be just as receptive to his opinion as he would be to me picking out his clothes smile

Bilpbip Tue 18-Jun-13 12:36:15

I quite fancy the idea of a green mohecan grin I had something similar when I was at uni many, many years ago.

He didn't say it in a jokey way just not in an absolutely I forbid you to cut your hair kind of way.

I don't give negative opinions about his dress sense or hair cuts, I do tell him if I like it, I just shut up if I don't. He has a few pairs of jeans that could do with the shredder.

Remotecontrolduck Tue 18-Jun-13 12:38:29

I would be receptive to an extent, but not to the extent I was unhappy with my own hair. Say I was considering two different hair cuts, both I liked and DP preferred one more than the other, I'd probably take his opinion into account.

I would not however keep my hair long/short/whatever just because he liked it, when it was impractical or annoying me.

I reckon it was said jokily, there's nothing wrong with your partner having an opinion on your hair. If he was being serious though he is a bit of knob!

pigletmania Tue 18-Jun-13 12:40:39

Go ahead, do what you wish to your hair, let him leave! Why does he not gro hi hair if he likes long hair

SingingSilver Tue 18-Jun-13 13:47:09

Cut it. If he leaves, you know you've been released from marriage to a knobhead!

BrokenBanana Tue 18-Jun-13 14:18:00

I seriously think you need to get yourself a hair dryer OP. damp hair for 3 days is minging

Lweji Tue 18-Jun-13 14:18:20

What did you reply to him?

wealthypensioneriamnot Tue 18-Jun-13 15:33:34

Want to swap husbands ? I've tried to grow my hair several times as I like it longer so I could do more with it ... wear it up etc. each time I've tried my DH has carried on about how messy it looks and how he likes it short. What he actually means is that he doesn't like how long it takes for me to wash, dry and generally sort it out . Men seem to love long hair on women ... something to do with fertility or some such basic thing I expect ... but get really cheesed off with the time and money the upkeep takes .

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Tue 18-Jun-13 15:40:41

He doesn't have to like your haircut. You don't have to give a shiny shite if he likes it or not. If he's stupid enough to leave over a haircut, you haven't really lost anything.

Get your hair cut the way you like it. He can have his opinion.

My DH has recently informed me that he's growing his hair long again. I hate it long. It was lovely when he was 20 and suited his "I wanna be a rock star" persona, but now he's mid-30s and it just looks like a mid-life crisis! He'll grow it anyway and that's fine. I have no right to tell him how to have his hair unfortunately. wink

LayMeDown Tue 18-Jun-13 15:42:36

if he is not serious then whats the problem? Why are you getting annoyed over a flippant jokey comment?
My DH prefers my hair long - the longer the better as far as he is concerned. I give some weight to his opinion on this, as I do with most things, but much more weight to my own since it is my hair.

allmycats Tue 18-Jun-13 15:46:42

if he is serious then you really do have a problem. You do just what you want with your hair, he may express an opinion but that is all it is.
You want it short ? then have it cut.

sleeplessbunny Tue 18-Jun-13 15:47:07

he is being vv u, obv.
tell him you like his hair long too, and you will keep your hair the same length as his.

VerySmallSqueak Tue 18-Jun-13 15:47:34

He'll not go.He's making his views known and has been a little OTT in doing so.
Clearly you need to get it cut now though to let him know it's your hair,your rules wink.

Dahlen Tue 18-Jun-13 16:01:15

It goes without saying that you have the right to do whatever you like with your own hair. He has no right to tell you what to do or how to present yourself.

That said, I think he's entitled to have a preference. I know I would have felt less attracted to various partners if they had changed significant bits of their appearance. I guess it comes down to acceptable ways of expressing that preference, and if he wasn't unequivocally joking, then he was unreasonable to make his comment.

If he's often given to foot-in-mouth syndrome and doesn't display any other forms of controlling or entitled behaviour, I think I'd stop short of LTB though. wink

MissPlumBroughtALadder Tue 18-Jun-13 16:11:10

Go on to YouTube and look up the song 'Haircut' by The Waifs. Might be appropriate?

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Tue 18-Jun-13 16:12:52

That would really piss me off.

The polite response when your partner does something to their hair/clothes/appearance you don't like is to say so once, then leave it. Badgering on about it is controlling and wankerish.

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