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Help - found bank letter re challenging over 1k spend in gentlemans club

(277 Posts)
Letstryagain Wed 16-Jan-13 20:43:04

Looked in h pocket when moving jackets and found a bank letter re his challenge over 1k spend in 'gentlemans' club - looked at dates and it was a weekend I was away, he was out but never mentioned going there. I have no issues with these places but wonder why he didn't say he was there & also how could anyone spend over 1,000 at a place like that? What do I do - say I saw it? Am raging? He had told me he was disputing a spend in debenhams!! Help!!!

LineRunner Sat 19-Jan-13 17:30:43

It's a Dead Thread Walking, anyway, KateS.

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 19-Jan-13 11:50:38

Hi everyone,

We're just going to remind you all of our talk guidelines, in particular the bits about troll hunting and personal attacks.

YorkshireDeb Sat 19-Jan-13 05:26:05

Thanks for posting dizzy. I had been thinking how offensive it is to suggest the women in this industry are only doing it because they were abused or something - and also the sense that they're forced into it or taken advantage of. X

DizzyZebra Sat 19-Jan-13 05:03:54

Id like to point out not all women who do this sort of thing are abused and damaged.
I'm not a stripper but the work I do, I do because I look good. I use that to my advantage and yeah I mostly target men. Its because its so.fucking.easy. Men will buy shit off me at a ridiculous price because they fancy me. End of. They are idiots. Not all men but the sort that do this are. I'm not doing it for any other reason than that. Its easy money. These men pay me to be able to work when I want and spend most of my time with my kids. Why would I do something else, have to work hard and not see my kids?

YorkshireDeb Sat 19-Jan-13 02:40:25

I have to say Delboy, I actually respect the fact that you've stuck with this thread for so long. You've received flaming after flaming & imo personal attack & your messages remain polite & dignified. I understand that some people have issues with this industry & with your profession but think you have become some kind of scapegoat for all if their bad feelings. I feel bad for op because of the amount of money her dh spent & the lies involved. I have visited a lap dancing club (with a group of mainly female friends on a night out) & discovered they're not the places I assumed they were. I did not feel the women were being manipulated in any way. The pole dancing was quite frankly talented & as far as I'm aware they make bloody good money. One of my friends, on a different night out, paid for a dance to find out what it entails & chatted to the girl & again was left with a very positive impression. On this basis I would not be upset if my dp wanted to go to one. But I would if he spent 2 grand of our money on anything without discussing it with me first. <prepares for flaming> x

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 23:31:48

sorry linerunner i dont quite follow..

LineRunner Fri 18-Jan-13 23:28:36

Personally I find mansplaining is about style, content and repetition. Just saying.

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 23:28:23

I have no problem with them being challenged- I have problems with people being confrontational with me for the sake of it.

AnyFucker Fri 18-Jan-13 23:25:22

You don't like to have your ideas challenged do you, del ole boy ?

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 23:21:28

so why the mansplaining? i must admit i didnt know what that meant so have googled it.

Im not assuming i know more than any one else on the subject- however i believe i have more first hand experience of the subject than most. I'm happy to stand corrected if there are any posters on here who also have first hand experience. However i think its fair to say that when posters are stating they are prostitutes when they are ckearly not; I should correct them. No? when other generalisations are made about them should i not say anything for fear of mansplaining?

LineRunner Fri 18-Jan-13 23:16:40

AIBU = the real world


AnyFucker Fri 18-Jan-13 23:14:22

I didn't say you were a troll, delboy. I think you are a very real person.

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 23:12:46

or anyfucker i might just have a different opinion than you. why are you seeing it as a personal slight? so far all you have done is have a pop at me. if i was a female door supervisor would you still be as confrontational? why does my posting piss you off so much?

Perhaps you would like to contribute to the thread with you opinions/expierience of strip clubs without attacking other posters by claiming they're trolls or having a hidden agenda

AnyFucker Fri 18-Jan-13 23:08:28

the thing is (to get back on point)

A lot of women think they need to be cool with their husbands paying for sexual services. They do not. They can change their mind any time they like

AnyFucker Fri 18-Jan-13 23:07:10

yes, allgoing, that point was noted some time back, but delboy is still on a mansplaining trip

WilsonFrickett Fri 18-Jan-13 23:06:12

Del i Don't think anyone said all women lap dancers were vulnerable. Just that a significant proportion of them probably could be.

But to return to the op. to be fair to Del he's right in a way, you can't retrospectively say 'actually you know how I was always cool with lap dancing clubs? Nah, you're dumped.' But you have learned a lot about him over the last 24 hours. So what do you want to happen now?

allgoingtoshitnow Fri 18-Jan-13 23:03:43

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 22:48:34

I think the reasons are that firstly giving a statement to the police takes bloody ages. a lot of the dancers werent prepared to give up the time and lose money. the guy/girl was thrown out and that tended to be the end of it.

Second- trying to get a policeman between the hours of 2200-0400 is nearly impossible. they rarely were about for serious assaults that took place on the street let alone attending the venue for an attempted sexual assault. not their fault there just wasnt the numbers

LineRunner Fri 18-Jan-13 22:43:52

See, if someone had to stop a man sexually assaulting me in the street, I would 100% call the Police, because a crime against me would still have been committed.

I don't understand why SEVs inhabit some kind of judicial la-la land.

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 22:40:21

linerunner. not a single one that i was aware of.

LineRunner Fri 18-Jan-13 22:39:07

I wonder how many attempted ('fended off') sexual assaults in SEVs are reported to the police...

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 22:32:20

surely preventing sexual assault is a good thing. and of course i would defend their right to be there. its not illegal- i believe as adults people should be able to do what they like within the realms of the law.

as i said earlier i have seen far more sexual assaults in nightclubs than i have in strip clubs

AnyFucker Fri 18-Jan-13 22:28:57

You called it "preventing men from touching the dancers". I would call it fending off sexual assault. And yet you defend their right to be there. On a Parenting website. Dodgy.

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 22:21:34

so if it was sarcasm then my point stands. why am i not trustworthy due to my job?

AnyFucker Fri 18-Jan-13 22:19:25

No, that was simple sarcasm, dude. Easy to miss, I suppose.

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