Ok, I am a bugger for making comparisons and judging others (and in this case meyself), probably harshly, so I may just need some perspective - hoping I can get it here!
Went on a playdate and, as usual when I visit that particular house, was taken aback by just how many toys they have. They have 2 dc, the same ages as mine, and just seem to have everything going. Both reception rooms and the dc's bedroom are full. They also have a largeish summer house and outside sheddy thing, both also full of toys!
Not only is it the toys, but the amount of crafting they do that is in evidence. Both reception rooms have walls and ceilings that are festooned with homemade decorations on every inch. It is like walking into a really lovely primary classroom.
Tbh, it makes me feel a bit shit. We are rubbish at crafty stuff and, though we do do some, it doesn't come out looking professional like theirs does and I wouldn't want it filling up the whole house. We seem to have loads of toys, many of which are seldom played with, but when I see what theirs have I wonder if ours would play better if they had more to choose from 
.
It's not envy of money. I think our disposable incomes are probably pretty similar and the mum herself has told me they've bought a lot of it second hand. She is a sahm and my dh is a sahd. I think dh does a great job and does lots with the dc but I think this woman clearly does a lot more!
AIBU or plain silly?
AIBU?
to feel like a bit of a second-rate parent after this playdate
lecce · 16/12/2012 08:37
You are being silly.
Children do not play better because they have more toys to choose from. In fact I think in a lot of houses children play better with fewer toys to choose from because they get overwhelmed if there's too much (obviously not in every case but in quite a few families I know).
Crafting is a personal choice. If the dcs are interested then it's a lovely way to spend an hour or so, if they aren't then it's horrific and ends up being all your own work anyway. We do bits and pieces of crafting when I can be bothered. I had lovely plans for homemade xmas decorations and cards and baking, but have yet to do any of it 
. I don't really care though, and the kids are fine with it, we've got bought decorations and cards, there's still time to do some simple baking, and we've had loads of fun doing the playing that we wanted to do.
Thanks everyone.
dita that reminds me of taking ds to surestart a few years ago and being so amazed that he finally wanted to do the art activity that I didn't really intervene unless he asked me for help. his ladybird was black with black spots instead of the other way around. The woman gave me a funny look and asked why I hadn't set him straight - but he had a fab time. Meanwhile, the mother next to me had sent her dd outside to play "while I do this," so hers was perfect .
Don't worry too much, ime the more toys the less kids play with them, as they can't even see through them anymore.
As for crafts, that's what nurseries and playgroups are for!! 
We all have different ways of engaging with our kids, some people are good at crafts, or reading to them, or playing games in the garden I'm rubbish at all of those it doesn't make you a 'better' parent! Just do things you enjoy with them.
The Cub does a lot of crafty things cos he loves it and we have his 'art' on the walls because we love him it is, without exception, rubbish but we still put it up 
A parents worth isn't judged by the amount of toys or crafts that get done it's about the time spent with your children being a parent and raising loving. caring people who go on to be productive members of society and don't go around being too much of a twunt. It's all you can ask for out of parenthood really.
HopesSheGetsThatMuchRightTiggaxx
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