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The teacher keeps refusing to let my Yr1 DS go to the toilet

(87 Posts)
BupcakesAndCunting Thu 04-Oct-12 15:50:18

At the end of school.

We have a ten minute walk home and he is always bursting for the loo when he comes out, so was one of his classmates today. He was near wetting himself by the time we got home.

DS says that the teacher won't let them go apart from at break times. AIBU to think that this is harsh, especially on 5 year olds who are constantly drinking from water bottles all day. I was thinking of having a word about it.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 04-Oct-12 17:32:59

YANBU, please say something. 5 is still very little and I would be very surprised if this is the real rule.

Saying that, it was the rule when I was 4/5. No one was allowed to go to the loo outside break times and lots of children wet themselves because of it, including me sad

GotMyGoat Thu 04-Oct-12 17:42:04

I still remember in reception asking to use the loo and my evil teacher said no.

I held on and held on but the wet myself.

I told my friend as I was scared of calling out to the teacher

I always feel angry at this memory because she said "why didn't you say you were desperate?" angry

I was a really good girl at school, so its not like she thought i would mess around in the loos. Think she was an evil control freak. I was 4 or 5 fgs. Grrrr!

ihearsounds Thu 04-Oct-12 17:50:09

Why dont you let dc go to the loo then before walking home?

TunaPastaBake Thu 04-Oct-12 18:02:59

I dont think this is an issue - when he comes out of school just send him back in to use the loo.

A child in and out of class can be disruptive - once one goes they all tend to want to go.

Theas18 Thu 04-Oct-12 18:08:59

Find our what really good on before you go in all guns blazing . Year 1 are quite capable of going for a wee everytime theyare asked to settle down to so a task.this could be a campaign to try too get then to work out when it is time to work and when toilet breaks are.

Of course he can go before he leaves school-why don't you ask him and send him back if need?

izzybobsmum Thu 04-Oct-12 18:32:15

YANBU. I'm really glad someone has posted on this, because I'm having the same issue with DD1 in Year 2. She has asked to go to the toilet a couple of times and been told no. I have talked to her about going at break times and lunchtimes, but she says that she doesn't always need to go at breaktime, and that the urge comes 20 mins later when she's in lessons. I am perservering until parents' evening in a few weeks, and then I shall be having a word. One of the other girls in her class, who'd also been refused access to the toilet, wet herself in her mum's car on the way home, and was devastated.

CharlotteBronteSaurus Thu 04-Oct-12 18:37:02

we had this issue in reception, and a strongly worded letter resolved it

yes, it possibly is disruptive having children going to the loo left, right and centre, but presumably not as disruptive as having wet clothes to change and pools of wee everywhere.

Cherriesarelovely Thu 04-Oct-12 18:44:07

some of the responses to your post are so upsetting OP! Of course YANBU! I am really angry on your behalf and I teach early years myself. This is really horrible. What on earth is wrong with these teachers? Why is it such a problem to let a child go to the loo before they go home? I agree if a child is going constantly and mucking about in the loos or avoiding something then the situation needs to be monitored differently but otherwise no, if a child needs the loo they need the loo. I hope you get a sensible response from the school when you talk to them about it.

Cherriesarelovely Thu 04-Oct-12 18:44:47

I mean the responses are upsetting because of the experiences people are sharing on here, not because people are being nasty obviously!

SuffolkNWhat Thu 04-Oct-12 18:45:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wigglesrock Thu 04-Oct-12 18:55:49

At my daughters primary school P1s and P2s can go to the toilet on request. From P3 (6/7) they go at breaktimes etc, obviously if they're busting they can go during classes. On occasion my dd1 came out of school at 3pm needing the toilet, I just brought her back in again through the main reception and she used the toilets - no bother at all.

LesleyPumpshaft Thu 04-Oct-12 19:12:54

I can understand why teachers would do this, but as someone who's suffered from urological and kidney problems, I was told by my consultant that holding in your wee for too long can cause infections.

Bilbobagginstummy Thu 04-Oct-12 19:20:21

Perhaps you should take your little boy to wee by the teacher's car (driver's door) if he's not allowed in the loo before walking home.

Bet it wouldn't take long to get the rules changed. grin

LeeCoakley Thu 04-Oct-12 19:22:00

I don't understand why you just don't take him back in yourself when he comes out? Or go to some other communal toilets in the school building. The teacher would have said he couldn't go at that moment because there were letters to give out or she had something to tell them before they all left. She wouldn't have meant that he wasn't allowed to use the toilets after the school day!

MaryPoppinsBag Thu 04-Oct-12 20:02:40

Are the toilets in the classroom or out of the classroom down a corridor?
At my DC's school they ate in the classes in infants and they can just nip fairly easily.

SeventhEverything Thu 04-Oct-12 20:06:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coconutty Thu 04-Oct-12 20:07:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DowagersHump Thu 04-Oct-12 20:08:06

We are not allowed anywhere near the school door when we collect our children Lee because there are close on 300 kids coming out at the same time. I have absolutely no idea where the toilets are - the only ones I know about are at the main entrance (round the other side of the school) which are labelled 'adults only'.

So it's not always that easy.

EugenesAxe Thu 04-Oct-12 20:14:49

I'd be tempted to have them piss against the school and then let the Head know why when she/he comes out to have a go...

Anyway, it's out of order and I second Toast's suggestion of just taking your DS in yourself and then telling them where to shove it if they complain.

I'm such a hypocrite sometimes, being all bloody religious on the Job thread and then thinking the above.

cheeseandbiscuitsplease Thu 04-Oct-12 20:26:47

I'm a teacher and u never stop children going to the toilet. You soon get to know who the toilet trotters are who are using it as a distraction technique. I have just had to go and see my ds 7 teacher as they weren't letting him go to the toilet. Like you say they are encouraged to drink water to keep them hydrated so they need the toilet. They should be encouraged to try at play times but if they need it in between I let them go. I am a naice teacher smile

Bigwheel Thu 04-Oct-12 20:31:40

My ds is in year 1 and can use the toilet whenever he likes. At that age I wouldn't be happy if he couldn't.

NowThenNowThen Thu 04-Oct-12 20:37:56

YANBU. That's awful. I am pretty sure that ds in yr 2 can go whenever he likes. Problem is, he wont go at school at all, and I always make him go before we walk hom, otherwise he is so uncomfortable all the way home.
I wish I could get him to go at school, but they seem to have a free range policy about toilets, which is good.
I mean, adults don't have to ask at work to go to the toilet usuallly-they just go, so why inflict that rule on children?

Sargesaweyes Thu 04-Oct-12 21:15:41

If a child in my class asks to go during lesson I usually ask 'can you hold on?' meaning until break/ end of the day. If they say no then I let them go.

It is a pain in the arse though when they all start saying they need to go just so they can have a nosy down the corridor.

foreverondiet Thu 04-Oct-12 21:20:51

Make appointment with either head or with senco.

Or tell them that you'd rather he didn't have to wee in the playground grin

DS1 (year 2) has irritable bladder allowed to go whenever he wants and I always ask him at 3.40pm do you want to do before DD finishes (at 3.50pm)....


pigletmania Thu 04-Oct-12 21:31:30

That is disgusting it really is. Having access to a toilet is a basic human right, just because it's children des not make that any different. I wuld be acing words with the HT. they are only little

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