My dsil has just given birth to her first dd. I spent a lot of time with her in the later stages of her pregnancy as she struggled with a house move and really needed some company. When she had the baby, her mother didn't come to visit until a day later - now I know my mum would be in the car as soon as anyone mentioned 'labour' and that's how I'd like it, but I appreciate that not everyone is the same. As a result, I was on high alert throughout the labour in case they needed anything (my bil's mother is no longer with us).
They are now home and adjusting to being first-time parents, sil's parents are staying locally so they can 'help out', but I see very little evidence of helping. I am going round with ready-prepared meals for them, washing up, doing bits of shopping and checking they don't need anything, while granny seems mainly concerned with spending as much time as possible holding her dgd, commenting on the furnishings and instructing grandad to spend sil's money on things they don't need! They rush off to 'have dinner' at 4pm every day and leave the new parents wondering what to eat themselves.
I love being there for them, and would like to think that they would do the same for me, but I know that my mum would be falling over herself to feed and generally look after us, so there would be no need to. As my dh said, 'why does no-one else realise that this is 'helping out?!'. I figure that until the grandparents go home, I should be feeling pretty much redundant.
AIBU to think that grandparents should help out in practical ways after a birth? I am working p/t at the moment, but if I were f/t they would be exhausted and living off soup until they get used to their new schedule!
(on the plus side - at least I know I will get to see lots of my new niece! )
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
To think that this is not my job?
72 replies
twistedknit · 04/10/2012 15:47
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