To want a shag?

[nosextoday]

I wanna shag

haven't had one since November. I am currently waiting for essure sterilisation but that might take a while because of waiting list. dh can't use a condom because he loses his erection and it comes off. Even after essure implant I have to wait 3-6 months for it to work.

I just want a good old shag. I just feel like doing it then going for the MAP.

I'm never going to get a shag again am I?

[Ambrosius]

Femidom? do they still make them? I've only ever seen one in sex ed at school but it might be worth it??? Or diaphragm and spermicide?

[ComposHat]

dh can't use a condom because he loses his erection and it comes off

Condom and a splint?

[nosextoday]

I've got some femidoms in the cupboard upstairs but I'm too scared to use them. They look like bin bags

would lolly sticks do for a splint?

[fallenpetal]

Well the MAP isnt as bad as it was reportedly years ago - I had it 18months ish ago and just had a heavy period 2 weeks later.

I can understand your frustration, its been 16months ......... a long long long 16 months :(

LOL!

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

get a large cucumber or root vegetable of your choice and get DH to ah, do the business with it, you'll hardly be able to tell the difference if it's been so long!

[PurpleRomanesco]

Help if you microwave it for 20 seconds Pom, Get it to body temperature.

[nosextoday]

16 months?

we only have the remains of a small cucumber in the fridge. I have some pasta and carrots.

I don't care if the MAP turns me into a green pixie I just want a shag. I'm married ffs I should be able to have a shag. It's not fair.

[PurpleRomanesco]

What about other kinds of sex? Oral?

[fallenpetal]

Yes ...16 months but then I am single and choose not to just aherm well go get fucked lol

[WhiteTrash]

Up the bum.

[Iheartpasties]

yes, up the bum. chop chop get to it.

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

But the cold can be exciting! And it might go mushy in the microwave...

[HedleyLamarr]

Why can't he have the snip? He can have it under a local, it takes 10 minutes and it works. And it's less dangerous than a hysterectomy.

[Flanelle]

Bum sex is grisly. Like having a poo backwards.

[nosextoday]

He won't have the snip.

Don't want bum sex

It has to be in the proper place. A proper jolly good shag

[WorraLiberty]

Condom and a splint?

Compos

[pictish]

Mine had the snip.
Spent the whole of our relationship thus far being responsible for the contraception. All that stuff that makes you fatter and crazyer.
We were done having kids so I we decided it was his turn to shoulder it.

Simple pimple. Was fine. He's not bothered.

[LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans]

Pmsl @ everyone

[akaemmafrost]

I took the MAP within four hours of unprotected sex and got pregnant. I would never rely on it again, do a search on here and you will find many similar stories.

Just saying.....

If I were you I'd get a diaphragm fitted.

[BareBums]

Why didn't you go on the pill in the meantime of get the injection?

Can't believe how many MNers are into root vegetable sex! dirty mares


Cucumber you say....

[Freshlettice]

Don't forget to peel the cuc first. Much slippier

[PurpleRomanesco]

And it might go mushy

Story of my life... :(

:o

[nosextoday]

I can't do hormonal contraception because of weight gain and depression. I can't afford for my moods to go haywire or anything. I have had MAP in the past and coped okay with that but constant hormonal contraception isn't an option. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it.

[BareBums]

Pssst or sneak off to find something shaped like a cucumber

[Darleneconnor]

Copper coil or diaphragm?