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AIBU?

Really really hacked off with DH

76 replies

Kayano · 20/10/2011 22:06

Dont know if IABU to be annoyed.

DH plays wow 3 nights a week with his brother and is often online from 7pm til 11 pm. So I usually entertain myself. I write, read, play bingo on a Sunday with my MIL (great relationship) on these evenings.

I don't generally mind too much as I'm pregnant ATM and tend to get really tired early anyway. Sometimes I feel down that he spends nearly half the week playing these games.

Anyway, I deal. My annoyance is this. DH and me spend thursday nights curled up on sofa usually and have nice night in. This week he announces that Thursdays are now 'bowling night' with his bro and workmate. I was pretty upset. So out of 7 days I get 2 evenings with DH, his bro gets 4 and one day is spent with family.

I'm just so frustrated.

The worst thing is tonight they went out at 8 bowling so I had to stay in. I planned my night around Food Network and Gordon's kitchen nightmares and got my jammies and teddy out... Only for DH and BIL to walk in after an hour, demand I go upstairs so they can play FIFA!!!
There is not even a tv upstairs due to decorating!!!

I just feel DH does what he likes and doesn't think about things like this at all, as long as he is happy and I don't make a fuss! I can't believe it I'm so upset!

BIL has his own house with a PS3 and FIFA too, why is he always here?! He moved in for a while when I was 10 weeks preg but I pissed and moaned to DH and MIL and he moved out again. Thank god for my MIL

I just feel so fed up and any discussions are like talking to a brick wall 'he is my brother', 'he just needs to get out' etc. I feel totally second best to DH brother.

Have told DH this is not goig to be a weekly thing and he needs to think about me and out family (expecting first Dc) a bit more as it is upsetting me.
I do go out and try to do my own thing etc, but I feel very down today.

OP posts:

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lifechanger · 20/10/2011 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kayano · 20/10/2011 22:08

Ps we both work full time too so I feel out or busy 4 nights a week is really not nice of him

OP posts:

TartyMcFarty · 20/10/2011 22:09

Who the fuck is he to demand you go upstairs? What a weird relationship - he's treating you like a little girl whilst behaving like a kid himself. Please put your foot down.

thisisyesterday · 20/10/2011 22:10

so when they came in why did you not just say NO. feck orf?

i would have done.

your husband needs to get his priorities straight, and quickly.

Kayano · 20/10/2011 22:12

I did say get lost - I am watching chopped on food network

But the two of them sat there and stared at me for 10 minutes. I felt really uncomfortable. And then the bro asks 'is there much longer to go on this?!'

It was 17 minutes into the episode. I'm so tired and annoyed and upset.

I will be having strong words with DH once BIL buggers off

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 20/10/2011 22:14

I would have strong words now, not wait till he has gone. Bloody hell, what a way to behave.

mumsamilitant · 20/10/2011 22:15

Any man that plays some sort of on line game is still a kid in my book. Is he really ready for a child? why on earth did you get pregnant in the first place.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 20/10/2011 22:16

He is completely out of line and a selfish git.
Is he trying to get as much "fun" in before you have the baby? Mine did a little of this before dd arrived and I ended up as a taxi service but he was much better than your dh.

As this is yesterday says he needs to get his priorities straight, both now and after birth

HumphreyCobbler · 20/10/2011 22:16

not the most helpful point to make at this moment in time mumsamilitant

OP you are right, he is being a twat and you are entirely justified in telling him so.

mumsamilitant · 20/10/2011 22:16

So i hear. yes but i thought it would make him grow up. NO it doesnt.

squeakyfreakytoy · 20/10/2011 22:17

Is your husband 17?

I would be reading him the riot act by now to be honest.

ilovesooty · 20/10/2011 22:17

why on earth did you get pregnant in the first place

That's hardly helpful.

Just tell him straight that this isn't on. It's your house as well as his.

DogsBeastFiend · 20/10/2011 22:17

"Only for DH and BIL to walk in after an hour, demand I go upstairs so they can play FIFA!!!"

They did WHAT?!

You have two choices lovey... do as you're told like a good little girl and get used to a lifetime of being told to go to bed in your own home or tell BIL to fuck the fuck off out of YOUR home and then tell "D"H that you will NOT be treated like a child by him OR his guests/family.

I know which I'd be doing.

mumsamilitant · 20/10/2011 22:18

Ok, lets mollycoddle then...

Kayano · 20/10/2011 22:18

I got pregnant because we very much wanted a baby and until today had a very workable agreement about jobs and games etc (I used to play too)

Just today BIL-gate has pushed me over the edge.

OP posts:

HauntyMython · 20/10/2011 22:18

He sounds like an immature grumpy teen! Certainly not invested in family life.

He could at least swap the bowling for a WOW night so he's still "only" doing 3 nights?

MorelliOrRanger · 20/10/2011 22:18

If your BIL has his own house why didn't they go there?

YANBU - your hubby is being a knob

HOMEMADECHUTNEY · 20/10/2011 22:18

Helpful post mumsamilitant

ilovesooty · 20/10/2011 22:19

Ok, lets mollycoddle then

Who suggested that?

TheFeministsZombieBride · 20/10/2011 22:19

Wow! If that was me BIL would have been told to go fuck himself and I would be giving DH hell, especially if I was pregnant! [hshock]

hepcat · 20/10/2011 22:19

What's he going to do when the baby comes? Have you talked about this? Because-while I am not for a minute downplaying your needs as an individual in your own right too- if it gets on your nerves now, it's going to be totally intolerable and unacceptable when you have a child to look after.

HauntyMython · 20/10/2011 22:20

I've read a lot of threads about WOW etc and they rarely have a good outcome. 3 nights a week is certainly not the worst, but it shows how little he thinks of his family :(

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Kayano · 20/10/2011 22:20

Mums a militant .. Wtf?!

So one rant about behaviour displayed this week = why did you get pregnant?! So rude and insulting.

OP posts:

manticlimactic · 20/10/2011 22:21

But the two of them sat there and stared at me for 10 minutes. I felt really uncomfortable. And then the bro asks 'is there much longer to go on this?!'

How bloody rude! I would have replied 'It will probably be finished by the time you get home if you set off now'.

You DH said he'd be out, it's unfair of him to dictate what you can and can't do at anytime let alone when he'd arranged to be out. I would have stayed put even if I was uncomfortable, but then I'm a stubborn cow.

Kayano · 20/10/2011 22:24

Yes we have talked about WoW when the baby is born and he is going to raid 1 night a week, maybe 2 if me and baby are sleeping so he has been 'gettig it out of his system' I was quite alright with it tbh but it's more the bowling thing that's annoyed me

He goes through wow phases- often quits for 6 months and goes back. As I said I have my own hobbies but tonight has annoyed me SOooo much!

I think he can sense it. He keeps getting me drinks etc... He knows why is coming

OP posts:

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