After a rather difficult time we have been incredibly lucky and conceived twins after our first cycle of ICSI. We feel totally blessed and are very excited by their arrival early next year.
Only our immediate circle of family and friends knew we were having treatment and though we are not embarrassed or ashamed that we required fertility treatment to conceive, there are some people who we've chosen not to share this information with. I personally think it doesn't matter how they were conceived.
So I was fairly shocked that my DH's friend's wife (who is an extremely competitive and abrasive individual) dismissed our pregnancy to one of my very best friends saying 'they were trying for ages, so it was probably IVF'. (which led to my BF feeling the need to defend us and telling her they were natural - which is very unlike her!) We have given these friends of DH no reason to think we were trying for ages or that we were having treatment, so this can only have come as a rumour through an ex-friend who knew when we'd started trying, a fair amount of time ago. However she doesn't know whether we have had fertility treatment or not, so why comment at all?
I know it shouldn't matter, but I really can't understand why anyone would say something like that - why does it matter how the twins were conceived and if they are a result of fertility treatment, would you not naturally feel even happier for the lucky couple, that they have been successful after what would probably have been quite a difficult time????
Does having fertility treatment in her eyes make the babies some how lesser to her child? Or the pregnancy any less exciting or wonderful? I really can't understand her attitude and though I'd never stop my DH seeing his friend, I have absolutely no inclination to see them ever again.
Have any of you encountered such a bizarre reaction?
AIBU?
to be insulted by IVF gossip?
plumtrees · 20/08/2011 22:39
I had someone tell me my PFB looked like a test tube baby 
Take no notice, it doesn't matter in the slightest how they were conceived. A close friend of mine has twins, a boy and a girl and she is constantly being asked if they are 'ivf babies' - they are now 8 years old!
Work on developing a thick skin and scathing reply for such stupid people.
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YANBU. There can be some bizarre reactions and one-up-manship. Me and the ex thought we would be able to have children very easily and I was on the Pill for years because I didn't want children at that point in my life.
Few years on, I change my mind and nope, pregnancy didn't happen. Cue 5 years of unexplained infertility and tests and then IVF. Luckily I got one beautiful daughter from the ivf but my sister, who conceived naturally after YEARS on the Pill (like I had been), conceived by accident years before me.
She still makes the point that the Doctor told her she was "so fertile" and got pregnant so quickly. At this point in the conversation she usually clicks her fingers - snap. Sooooooo fertile. Her daughter is now 21 and she still does the clicking fingers and "so fertile" line.
We also never told anyone we were having ivf. If it had been twins, I think maybe some questions may have been asked though. Although we had 2 embryos implanted, it was a single pregnancy.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and your twins. It's a wonderfully exciting time and how they were conceived makes no difference. Ignore it. Rise above it. My daughter is lovely, precious and something I thought I'd never had, but I do still get pissed off at my sisters jibes.
I actually went on to conceive twins naturally after my IVF treatment, and then everyone said it was because I had "relaxed" after the birth of my first child. I believe that's bollocks, but that's another thread altogether.
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