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AIBU?

to wonder how social workers can hold their heads up?

151 replies

downtothesea · 31/07/2011 10:32

to think that our society must have lost its moral compass when the same social services which set the adoption bar so high also determine that children should be made to stay in this situation:
//www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2020464/Emily-Harbour-Mother-avoids-jail-leaving-baby-son-squalid-Newbury-house.html

OP posts:
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blackeyedsusan · 31/07/2011 10:38

they aare not staying that situation any more. they are living with grandparents.

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JustAnotherSod · 31/07/2011 10:39

Am I not reading it right, her children are in the care of their grandparents, not sure what your point is therefore OP, so YABU.

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ThePathanKhansWoman · 31/07/2011 10:39

Thats a bit sweeping isn't it? Most social workers do a good job, we mostly never hear of those, i for one wouldn't want to have to make some of the decisions they do.

And i would have thought, policy on adoption criteria would be made at a higher level than "a" individual social worker.

YABU.

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HoneyPablo · 31/07/2011 10:42

What's it got to do with social workers?

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Whatmeworry · 31/07/2011 10:45

It is well known that all Social Workers join the profession to cause as much misery as possible, and it's a doddle of a job as it is over-resourced and you can live a life of luxury on the salary.....

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WilsonFrickett · 31/07/2011 10:48

The two things aren't linked at all, the "adoption bar is placed so high" to stop children being placed with people who are not fit to care for them - like that birth mother. So YABU and you should be saving your ire for her, IMHO.

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SiamoFottuti · 31/07/2011 10:57

don't be a twat, OP, if you haven't understood a story don't base sweeping generalisations on it.

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mayorquimby · 31/07/2011 11:00

evolution? or possibly Intelligent Design?

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Birdland · 31/07/2011 11:00

Whatmeworry-I'm a social worker. Tis true that I do it as I sit most of the day painting my nails and online shopping with the riches I earn.

You forgot to mention the national adoration that wings it way to us and the balanced and informed press coverage that my profession enjoys.

Seriously OP I'm not sure you have a clue-and since when did 'social workers' make unilateral decisions?. Most of the professionals I work with are doing a damn good job in impossible circumstances-of course poor decisions are made and at those times the outcome can be devastating. Sadly the work is not measured in the successes but the faliures-pretty depressing really.

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Graciescotland · 31/07/2011 11:09

I think the only person who shouldn't be able to hold her head up is the mother.

I would like to congratulate the person who has been so proactive in reporting it, I'm sure they've been worried about those kids for a long time, they must be very glad to know that they are now safe with their grandparents.

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TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 31/07/2011 11:12

I hope you engage in self-flagellation three times a day to punish yourself for the sins of The Social Worker, Birdland.

Hang your head in shame, oh unclean one...

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feckwit · 31/07/2011 11:13

I have worked alongside social workers for years.

The abuse they get from the general public is disgusting. What people fail to realise is that for every "wronged child" that appears in the paper - Baby P etc - there are hundreds more who have been saved from horrific situations thanks to the hard work and dedication of social work teams.

It is an incredibly stressful and difficult job. You cannot "switch off" and leave your work at the door when you go home. I know because I have worked with some terrible abuse cases and it gets right into your soul and eats away at you.

What's more, the hours are tough, there are weekend call outs, evening visits, court appearances, child protection conferences... and the paperwork, geez the paperwork...

You only have to read mumsnet to come across families who are appalled they have received referrals to social workers - they cannot win can they? Professionals raise concerns, people jump up and complain, they don't refer on, a potential abused child goes unnoticed.

If it were not for the hard work of these people though, many children would become stuck in terrible situations. Don't forget too, on a day to day basis they provide the support that enables famililes to remain together and go on to be happy units. So many people see them as workers who go in to remove children when their actual premise is to try to keep famlies together if possible.

We ALL have a duty to watch over the young and vulnerable (and older and vulnerable too of course). We have a duty to report concerns - how often do cases slip through the net because nobody alerted social workers? They can only investigate a case if it is brought to their attention... they deend on teachers, health professionals, other agencies and neighbours.

So cut them some slack please. I wish people could spend a week follwoig a social worker and then I think they would be in awe of how physically and emotionally tough it is.

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TarkaLiotta · 31/07/2011 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdland · 31/07/2011 11:20

Themagnificent- self flagellation 3 times a day and but only once on Sunday (the Sunday Mail is punishment enough).

Feckwit-great, balanced post

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memeandmine · 31/07/2011 11:34

YABU - social workers do a hard and thankless bloody job. If you think you would do better then go for it...they are crying out for social workers in most children and family teams. Turnover is very high and most are burnt out in under two years but still.....

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Columbia999 · 31/07/2011 11:37

Phew, good to see the social worker bashers being put in their place for once! As a retired social worker (naturally sleeping on a bed of money in my Chelsea apartment) Wink I get very disheartened when social workers are blamed for all the social ills in the world.
Good social work doesn't sell papers, we all know that. Hopefully these children will have a better life with their grandparents. But on the other hand, who was it who brought the mum up?

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whobuilttheark · 31/07/2011 11:43

YABU, I will always remember the social worker who worked with me when I was a child to keep me safe and made sure my voice was heard- I still remember her name, she left the profession due to stress. I think it's the red tape and lack of resources that got in the way most of the time.

Maybe your statement reflects how society works, blame the social worker whilst overlooking the perpetrators and why awful situations happen like this in first place?

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noir · 31/07/2011 11:48

As a social worker who is passionate about the profession, I am so pleased to see the reasonable and understanding responses to this misinformed post. Thank you.

OP YABU to wonder how I can hold my head high, I do so because of I have, with the support of other professionals, the courts etc saved children from hideous abuses and helped dyfunctional, broken families to work through their issues and stay together. I remember in my first year of practice i received a christmas card off a wonderful family saying "we're spending christmas together as a family because of you".

And to take it to an even more profound level, I have had two extremely complex child protection cases over the course of my short career and reflecting on the second I can honestly say that if I died tomorrow I would die fulfilled because I know I have used my life to affect positive change for a particular sibling group who were previously living in unimaginable circumstances. I've found my raison d'être OP, whats yours?

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downtothesea · 31/07/2011 12:09

Sorry, I didn't perceive it would take such a great intellectual leap for people to make the connection. Health visitors had expressed concerns they hadn't been able to see the children since soon after birth - one is fours years old - perhaps health visitors aren't part of the 'social services' structure. Social services had long-standing involvement with family.
So, they take the kids off the mother and put them with the mother's parents. Now the mother may have developed her crap parenting skills all by herself.... or not? Either way, will she still have extended family access?
The chap at the top of Barnardos came out recently and asked whether we as a society leave damaged children in crap, destructive family situations for too long. He positied that it might be more constructive to remove them and place them for adoption ---- before they've been turned into shit-covered gibbering wrecks.
Have you tried to adopt a child lately - even a saint couldn't because they'd fail on the 'too old' threshold.
Is the connection clearer yet?
Still best leave the nippers with the extended family - they can all piss on them eh?

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downtothesea · 31/07/2011 12:10
  • feckwit


What people fail to realise is that for every "wronged child" that appears in the paper - Baby P etc - there are hundreds more who have been saved from horrific situations thanks to the hard work and dedication of social work teams.

And for every 'wronged child' that appears in the papers, there are hundreds more who don't and who carry on being abused - no?
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StewieGriffinsMom · 31/07/2011 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2shoes · 31/07/2011 12:16

yabu to make such a sweeping statement, can't be arsed to open the link as I know it is going to be full of crap(dm after all)

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HarrietJones · 31/07/2011 12:23

Kinship carers have to be assessed I've seen lots of Grandparents turned down.

Health visitors are part of the the Health Service not social services. They would share information with SW if they had concerns

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downtothesea · 31/07/2011 12:23

Christ Stewie - how woolly are you? Perhaps it's all relative eh? But you wouldn't like to be judgemental I guess. Sometimes the best and sometimes not - well, let's just pop the kid in and wait and see? Feck it eh, we'll worry about it later, in another four years when someone else raise the alarm, perhaps - it's not my life - kop on!

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feckwit · 31/07/2011 12:24

downtothesea yes very true. Is that the social workers fault? I would say no not necssarily because I said above, they can only investigate if brought to their attention and sadly there has been many instances where there have been poor agency communication BUT that is changing and information IS being shared much more freely now I think.

Abusers are often very clever and involve their victims in their deception. They manipulate them, persuade them that "telling" will have horrific consequences. They are adept at hiding bruises and persuading children they deserved it. Children living in fear don't know who to trust and adults often don't notice it. And children have a real fear of the unknown. I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is to work with a child in a secure and living foster home who tells you all they want is to go back to their home, the home their father is in, the father who abused them. Because that is normality to them.

All we can do is try to make channels available to raise concerns, to insist that professionals share information and that proper checks are carried out. We have to keep trying to save children from horrific circumstances and believe in those who are trying to help families. I don't think social worker bashing serves a purpose, what is more helpful is looking at how we can make the system better and that means more funding.

Funding is being cut left, right and centre for services around social care, I should know, I lost my job. And I cannot get another one as all the services I have previously worked for, are going. It is the proliferal services that are so important - advocates for children in need, teen pregnancy advisory services, youth schemes working with children not attending schools, sure start services, parenting groups... these are all being hard hit and without those support services, chidlren will not be noticed as nobody is round to raise a red flag.

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