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to feel that her kids are are a bit odd?

(76 Posts)
yellowhandbag Wed 27-Jul-11 08:25:23

Just come back from holiday with my cousin and her 4 kids.

Kids are aged 9, 11, 13 and 15. My son is aged 13. 3 of her kids had never been on a plane before.

My idea of a holiday is to get out and about and see and do things only coming back to the apartment in the evenings to chill out and eat. I don't mind having a quiet day by the pool and a day out can consist of no more than mucking about on the beach, but her kids refused to do pretty much anything.

I honestly thought going away with other kids would mean my DS had some playmates and that cousin and I could relax secure in the knowledge that the kids were off enjoying themselves and having fun. I also thought that her kids would be really excited about going on a plane for the first time and show some sort of enthusiasm in the car and in the airport.

We went out for 2 days out of 7. One day on a coach trip (which the eldest wrote a postcard home saying it was "the most boring day of my entire life") and we also went to a water park. Kids moaned all day on coach trip and didn't try to take any positive from it at all. At the water park it was only my son and her son who went in, even though we paid for them and then they said they wanted to go in. The others sat in the cafe and moaned.

DS was frustrated at the lack of enthusiasm for anything but I couldn't get him to do anything with me because he wanted to be with the kids that I had purposely gone on holiday with to entertain each other! So DS did far less than we would have normally done on holiday.

Cousins eldest girl sat for days in the apartment room with the curtains shut and the light on reading books. (We were abroad in a warm and sunny country). I couldn't even persuade her to look round the shops.

The middle two just wanted to sit in front of a screen. They would prefer to watch childrens tv in a foreign language than come to the beach or would sit on consoles all day.

The youngest, didn't stop whingeing and it really grated on me by the end of the holiday.

So, I have learnt my lesson and won't be doing that again, but I suppose I wonder if I am a bit odd and they are the normal ones? Certainly my cousin didn't seem at all surprised at their behaviour at all.

CheerfulYank Wed 27-Jul-11 08:30:09

Nope. Odd.

Esta3GG Wed 27-Jul-11 08:30:18

Poor you - sounds like a lousy holiday. Never again eh?
Overindulged mardy-arse kids drive me mad.

itisnearlysummer Wed 27-Jul-11 08:30:34

Well different people want different things from a holiday.

That's it. Your idea of what a holiday is, is clearly different to hers.

We view our holidays as you do, but have other friends who see holidays as a time to kick back and do nothing and they don't prioritise going out for the day as highly as doing what they want, when they want.

Horses for courses and all that.

wordfactory Wed 27-Jul-11 08:32:20

I've never remotely fancied going on holiday with another family. Too many different ideas of how to spend the time, where to go, what time to get up, what to do each day.

I know some people swear by it...but then they seem to complain afterwards.

rainbowtoenails Wed 27-Jul-11 08:34:27

What was the gender of her other dcs? I cant imagine a 15yo dd liking being cajouled into playing with a 13yo boy but apart from that yanbu. They sound like a nitemare. Why did they bother going just to do what they do at home? They are def screen addicts, did their mum never tell them off? Im sorry your holiday was ruined.

allhailtheaubergine Wed 27-Jul-11 08:37:09

I made the mistake of going on holiday with Other People once.

They thought a holiday meant black-out curtains, sleeping until noon, dedicated sunbathing, spending 2 hours getting ready in the evening, and eating in McDonalds.

I thought a holiday meant sleeping with the windows open, hiring bikes, exploring the area, trying local cafes.

They thought I was every bit as odd as I thought them.

Different people like different holidays.

JamieAgain Wed 27-Jul-11 08:40:28

I agree about not going on holiday with other people.

That said - those teens do sound unimaginative and unenthusiastic, which is a bit sad for them. It sounds like they would have been far happier at home, where they could follow their own everyday routines. Some people are just like that

muffinflop Wed 27-Jul-11 08:44:07

Was it too hot for them? There's no way I could go abroad with DS at this time of year. He would hate the heat and wouldn't want to go out in it. He's only 6 though. DD (4) on the other hand would love it.

ragged Wed 27-Jul-11 09:00:07

I understand the 15yos behaviour, but the others were ...odd smile. Homesick, I imagine.

HeatherSmall Wed 27-Jul-11 09:21:16

If they've never been away before they don't know any different.
I remember my uncle taking me, my sister and his wife's niece on a weekend away to the sea side. We all had a good time but when they dropped us back home the niece announced to her mother she'd been bored stiff and missed her roller skates.
I suspect as they didn't have much money the child didn't want her mother to think she'd enjoyed the trip knowing her mother could never take her.
But I also think roller skating up and down her drive was her comfort zone, what she knew and so that's what she enjoyed the most, if she'd been taken on days out every week as sis and I were then that's what we preferred to do.

GrownUpNow Wed 27-Jul-11 09:25:48

I switch off on holiday, spend much of my time sleeping or reading, prefer to spend most of my time in the hotel complex or by the pool, the heat just does that to me. Could be a combination of not being used to the heat and perhaps homesickness or anxiety about being in a different situation?

ledkr Wed 27-Jul-11 09:26:41

This is precisely why i holiday alone,everyone does things differently but they do sound like miserable brats,what did Mum do?
I went away with my oldest friend and our dc's,her ds was a vile brat who was spitefull to my dd and even wound up my laid back ds aged 15. She wanted the kids in bed at 7 which i dont do on hold we all stay up and play games or go out,was territorial about food we had jointly bought and finally got stroppy cos i told her ds was not babysitting for our younger dc's as he was also on his holidays. Havent seen her since,that was 5 yrs ago.

munstersmum Wed 27-Jul-11 09:34:17

We only holiday with others when it's clear what the focus of the holiday is going to be eg skiing & did Disney once. Those hols work because there is a common starting point to what you want to do. We also always agree if don't want to do something together then happy to do own thing & no offence taken.

Those kids do sound miserable though. Never known a kid not enjoy a waterpark unless couldn't swim.

Morloth Wed 27-Jul-11 09:34:27

The trick to going on holiday with other people/families is to say upfront that everyone will do whatever they please, when they please and you will meet up when and as it is fun.

This works a treat with our friends, we stay at the same place and do lots of stuff together but no-one minds if people would rather not do something as a group.

Scholes34 Wed 27-Jul-11 09:37:21

I don't think they're odd, they just like different things on holiday. It's much easier to plan to do things with one child than try to satisfy four children at quite difficult ages. I enjoy seeing friends on holiday, but do find it requires lots of compromises to be made and much biting of lips with some of my friends' children.

In the past we've managed a week in a cottage with friends and their children, followed by a week's luxury of just our family in a tent in the rain doing what we want to do when we want to do it, even if it's just playing cards surrounded by damp washing we're trying to dry.

pictish Wed 27-Jul-11 09:40:05

Gawd - sounds shit. What a miserable, boring, indulgent shower of non entities.

It does seem odd...but takes all sorts I suppose. Don't go away with them again.

I went on holiday to the south of France with a pal once....she whined and moaned the whole holiday and when we got back I found I had gone right off her.

EvilTwins Wed 27-Jul-11 09:42:55

I didn't go on a plane til was I 29. Does that make me odd?

Holidays are a bit like family Christmases - everyone does it in their own way, and thinks that other ways of doing it are odd. As a child, my parents took Dsis and I to various bits of Europe (always via ferry and car) and we did lots of visiting interesting towns and exploring buildings etc etc. We didn't do beach holidays, not after I was about 11 anyway. Other people thought we were odd. DH and I are mad "let's explore" types as well (lucky for me I didn't marry a sun worshipper) but I have plenty of friends whose idea of "holiday" involves lying very still on a beach/sun lounger doing nothing at all. I think they're odd.

Don't go on holiday with them again. Problem solved. grin

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 27-Jul-11 09:51:25

Sitting in the dark reading a book? Nervous in sunlight? Aquaphobic? Are they the Addams Family?

unpa1dcar3r Wed 27-Jul-11 09:55:29

Never never go on holiday with other family or friends!
I learnt this the hard way last year in the Canaries with my cousin n her husband (a bit older than us) and 3 of my children, eldests partner and their baby.
By day 3 we all wanted to put cousin in the pool and stand on her head!
Not spoken to her since and don't intend to. Her hubby was ok but completely under the thumb and told us he blocked his ears to most of her rantings and moaning!!!
Never ever again!
You live n learn.
Shame for your son, maybe next time take one of his mates instead and check they like doing things.

joric Wed 27-Jul-11 10:01:02

They sound moody, mardy, dull and negative.
As you say, you won't be doing it again.
My DD has a friend like this - sucks the life out of everyone... Awful.

joric Wed 27-Jul-11 10:06:06

We've been away with DB and family.. You have to be able to do your own thing as well as together- needs a group of easy going people to work I think..
BTW , We are not an easy going family at all but on holiday everyone makes an effort so it can work really well!

belgo Wed 27-Jul-11 10:06:46

It sounds like you had different expectations of your holidays. You think you are right and express this by being nasty about them on the internet.

Never go on holiday with another family, and certainly don't criticise them afterwards online.

MumblingRagDoll Wed 27-Jul-11 10:07:53

My sisters girls are weird like this....they sit in front of the TV all day and she lets them...they're 10 and 8 and they just hang around ther Mum moaning when all the other kids play.


Mine dont come near me when there are other kids about or water slides!

But was it VERY hot? Some kids cant take it. I hate the heat too.

MumblingRagDoll Wed 27-Jul-11 10:08:41

belgo who are you? God?

Why do you think you can command people like that?

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